jdene
Jul 10th, 2001, 12:10 PM
As I sit here writing this, I can literally feel my heart breaking. There’s an ache there that I’m not sure I’ve ever felt before, and though I try, I can’t seem to stop thinking about you. What must you be thinking and feeling right now? I know you’re probably terrified about what the next days will bring. Uncertainty always does that to me anyway. But I, for one, am so proud of you right now. Proud that you were/are strong enough to see that you weren’t well. That you needed help. That you could no longer continue down the path that you were traveling, alone. You don’t have to do it alone, A.J. There are thousands, no millions, of us out here who care about you, who love you, and who will be here for you regardless of how long your recovery takes.
We’ve watched you, A.J., with wonder, admiration and extreme pride as you’ve shared yourself and your incredible talent with us over the past 8 years. We’ve worried with you and about you as the five of you have endured problems people twice your age haven’t had to face, and you’ve done it with dignity and professionalism. We’ve watched you grow into a wonderfully special man who gives so much of himself and his time to others. Don’t sell yourself short, A.J. You aren’t finished yet. In fact, it’s my guess that you’ve only just begun to show us what you’re capable of. You still have so much left to share with the world.
As always, you can be proud of your “brothers”, A.J., and how they are standing with you during this time. Watching them make this announcement on television, I saw the pain evident in each of their faces, but also relief that you’re getting the help you need. I also saw hope that they’ll soon have their friend and brother back with them - strong and healthy and ready to take on the world once again. I also have a few words for each of them today:
Kev - always the big brother, aren’t you? It’s a role I believe you take very seriously, although the “young ones” haven’t always made that easy, have they? Listening to you speak about AJ, the love and concern in your voice was clear as you announced this sad news. I’ve only heard you break like that one other time and that was when you accepted a World Music Award and dedicated it to Brian, who was having his heart surgery at the time.
Brian - what can I say? You’re a bright ray of light in the darkest of times. I have no doubt that you’ve put your faith and trust in God to right this situation and to make A.J. whole again. You know that God can and does work miracles every day. I pray that your faith and strength will pass on to A.J. and his family and circle of friends to sustain them in the hard days ahead. Thank you for always being that voice of hope.
Howie - sweet, wonderful Howard. Once again, you put others before yourself in announcing to the world that you don’t care how long it takes, A.J.’s health is of the utmost importance to you and to the group, and not the group’s continued success. I honestly believe you would give it all up in an instant to have your brother back with you again, strong and healthy. Caroline must be incredibly proud of you right now!
And Nick - oh, Nicky. Your silence today spoke volumes. And the few words you spoke later, even more. It was the pain and anguish I saw on your face that truly brought me to tears. We’ve all watched over the past months as you and A.J. have grown even closer. We smiled at the thought of you two spending Thanksgiving together (what I wouldn’t have given to be in THAT room with the two of you, watching football and stuffing yourselves silly!). We’ve watched you roughhouse on a multi million dollar airplane during your 100 hour trip and watched the two of you ham it up before thousands of fans on stage. Take comfort, Nick, in knowing that A.J. will be back. With God’s help, and the help of his family and friends, he will come back to you, even stronger than before!
Thank you, all of you, for not “sweeping this under the rug”, as you were apparently advised by some to do. For considering us family, and caring about us enough, to include us in this difficult time. There is strength in numbers, you know, and these numbers are huge, believe me!
No one could hope for more caring, supportive brothers than you have, A.J., and at the same time, they couldn’t ask for a more wonderful, loving brother than they have in you. I am thankful every day that the five of you found each other and that all of us are even the smallest part of your lives.
To be honest, the days ahead will be tough, for all of you, but especially for you, A.J. You’ll need to look deep inside yourself and fight the demons there that brought you to the point you’re at right now. It won’t be easy, trust me, but you won’t be alone and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You know, not too long ago, we had a horrible storm here. One of those nasty summer storms complete with torrential rains, huge hail stones that caused thousands of dollars in damage, and power outages all over the city. But looking back, you know what most of us remember now about that day? The beautiful double rainbow that appeared as the sky was clearing. Your rainbow is waiting for you, Age. You may have to weather the storm to see it, but it’s out there, believe me, bright and shining and full of all sorts of beautiful colors (just like you!) like a beacon in the night!
Grab on to all of the love and the prayers coming to you from all four corners of the earth right now. Let it surround you and strengthen you and help through this time. As you have helped so many of us through rough times with your music and your caring, take our hands and let US help you now walk from the darkness into the light. It isn’t a sign a weakness, A.J. Remember, feelings, both good and bad, are wonderful, and human. It’s only from knowing pain that you’ll get to experience the incredible joy all around you.
I keep thinking of the words to the song you were singing ... What do people really want? They want to be happy. I want to be happy.
You deserve to be happy, A.J. For all of the joy and happiness you have brought (and continue to bring) to others all around you, you are incredibly worthy of happiness and so much more. It’s the least you deserve.
Stay strong and please know that you are always in our thoughts and prayers. We will always love you "more than that".
[Edited by jdene on July 10th, 2001 at 11:15 AM]
We’ve watched you, A.J., with wonder, admiration and extreme pride as you’ve shared yourself and your incredible talent with us over the past 8 years. We’ve worried with you and about you as the five of you have endured problems people twice your age haven’t had to face, and you’ve done it with dignity and professionalism. We’ve watched you grow into a wonderfully special man who gives so much of himself and his time to others. Don’t sell yourself short, A.J. You aren’t finished yet. In fact, it’s my guess that you’ve only just begun to show us what you’re capable of. You still have so much left to share with the world.
As always, you can be proud of your “brothers”, A.J., and how they are standing with you during this time. Watching them make this announcement on television, I saw the pain evident in each of their faces, but also relief that you’re getting the help you need. I also saw hope that they’ll soon have their friend and brother back with them - strong and healthy and ready to take on the world once again. I also have a few words for each of them today:
Kev - always the big brother, aren’t you? It’s a role I believe you take very seriously, although the “young ones” haven’t always made that easy, have they? Listening to you speak about AJ, the love and concern in your voice was clear as you announced this sad news. I’ve only heard you break like that one other time and that was when you accepted a World Music Award and dedicated it to Brian, who was having his heart surgery at the time.
Brian - what can I say? You’re a bright ray of light in the darkest of times. I have no doubt that you’ve put your faith and trust in God to right this situation and to make A.J. whole again. You know that God can and does work miracles every day. I pray that your faith and strength will pass on to A.J. and his family and circle of friends to sustain them in the hard days ahead. Thank you for always being that voice of hope.
Howie - sweet, wonderful Howard. Once again, you put others before yourself in announcing to the world that you don’t care how long it takes, A.J.’s health is of the utmost importance to you and to the group, and not the group’s continued success. I honestly believe you would give it all up in an instant to have your brother back with you again, strong and healthy. Caroline must be incredibly proud of you right now!
And Nick - oh, Nicky. Your silence today spoke volumes. And the few words you spoke later, even more. It was the pain and anguish I saw on your face that truly brought me to tears. We’ve all watched over the past months as you and A.J. have grown even closer. We smiled at the thought of you two spending Thanksgiving together (what I wouldn’t have given to be in THAT room with the two of you, watching football and stuffing yourselves silly!). We’ve watched you roughhouse on a multi million dollar airplane during your 100 hour trip and watched the two of you ham it up before thousands of fans on stage. Take comfort, Nick, in knowing that A.J. will be back. With God’s help, and the help of his family and friends, he will come back to you, even stronger than before!
Thank you, all of you, for not “sweeping this under the rug”, as you were apparently advised by some to do. For considering us family, and caring about us enough, to include us in this difficult time. There is strength in numbers, you know, and these numbers are huge, believe me!
No one could hope for more caring, supportive brothers than you have, A.J., and at the same time, they couldn’t ask for a more wonderful, loving brother than they have in you. I am thankful every day that the five of you found each other and that all of us are even the smallest part of your lives.
To be honest, the days ahead will be tough, for all of you, but especially for you, A.J. You’ll need to look deep inside yourself and fight the demons there that brought you to the point you’re at right now. It won’t be easy, trust me, but you won’t be alone and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You know, not too long ago, we had a horrible storm here. One of those nasty summer storms complete with torrential rains, huge hail stones that caused thousands of dollars in damage, and power outages all over the city. But looking back, you know what most of us remember now about that day? The beautiful double rainbow that appeared as the sky was clearing. Your rainbow is waiting for you, Age. You may have to weather the storm to see it, but it’s out there, believe me, bright and shining and full of all sorts of beautiful colors (just like you!) like a beacon in the night!
Grab on to all of the love and the prayers coming to you from all four corners of the earth right now. Let it surround you and strengthen you and help through this time. As you have helped so many of us through rough times with your music and your caring, take our hands and let US help you now walk from the darkness into the light. It isn’t a sign a weakness, A.J. Remember, feelings, both good and bad, are wonderful, and human. It’s only from knowing pain that you’ll get to experience the incredible joy all around you.
I keep thinking of the words to the song you were singing ... What do people really want? They want to be happy. I want to be happy.
You deserve to be happy, A.J. For all of the joy and happiness you have brought (and continue to bring) to others all around you, you are incredibly worthy of happiness and so much more. It’s the least you deserve.
Stay strong and please know that you are always in our thoughts and prayers. We will always love you "more than that".
[Edited by jdene on July 10th, 2001 at 11:15 AM]