Call me anti-social if you must

[NikDC]

But if I have to tell another friggin' person how my Thanksgiving was, I just may scream at them.

Not to mention, I'm really getting tired of people coming by the cube, stopping and chatting, obviously missing the "I'm working trying to get something pressing done, please go away" signals while they're give me the third degree in Nov about where I'm going to spend Christmas as if it were any of their business. The same guy stopped me on the way out yesterday to ask about Thanksgiving....buddy, when I'm backpedaling as I'm talking to you, that's the hint that I'm in a hurry and shut up.

Add to that the drilling going on literally outside my 7th floor window that's been going on the last 3 weeks that sounds exactly like a dentist's drill, only much much louder and I promise you I'm a tightly wound person about to snap.

If I had a straitjacket, I'd put it on me. :o

[insearchofjason]

Nik, I hear ya. I'm in the same boat with "How was Florida?" I literally feel sorry for the people that sit next to me and have to hear me say the same reply over and over again. I was thinking about just typing a little "essay", if you will. Something summing up my vacation in 100 words or less. When they ask, I just point to the paper. They can read or they can walk away. Either way, I don't mind. Feel free to try this idea Nik... and if you do, let me know how it goes! :p

As for travel-sized straitjackets... I think they call it "rope". ;)

[MerrySunshine]

I've taken to telling people how much it sucked to have my uncle point out that I am STILL single just as the turkey was being served up. This usually stifles all Thanksgiving related talk from there on out.

I wish someone would straightjacket my uncle. :mad:

[NikDC]

I tried the "It sucked" route already and the caring soul wanted to console me and find out why. :rolleyes: It was just fine. Okay? Fine! Nothing wrong with fine! And I don't care how yours was, really! You only ask to be polite. It's like How are you? The answer is good. Always good. Get it?

I'll try the letter though if it comes to it.

Some hot cocoa calmed my nerves somewhat so we're in a homicidal maniac holding pattern :D

[leia1191]

Nikki, time to post the Answers to the Post-Thanksgiving Top-10 questions. In some answers, just select the option that applies to you for each question. Allow me to demonstrate:

10. No, I didn't cook; we ate at my parents/in-law's/sister's/brother's house.

9. Yes/No I did/didn't go out of town.

8. No, I don't want one of your mom's famous turkey sandwiches for lunch, but thanks for asking.

7. The most exciting thing that happened? Well. . . .

A) my sister-in-law forgot to take the plastic bag with the turkey "innards" out of the cavity of the bird, and the plastic melted inside the turkey.

B) Uncle Doug accidentally tucked the tablecloth into his pants and cleared the table in 5 seconds flat.

C) Everyone fell asleep after dinner in front of the football game. Too bad, it was a good game too--Vikings/76ers ;)

6. The family wasn't too bad to deal with. Aunt Vicki still points out to the family that I'm STILL single, but she had an unfortunate incident with the green bean casserole shortly after making her observation, so I doubt she'll do it again next year.

5. However, I do now firmly believe that I was adopted, because I can't possibly have any genetic material in common with these people.

4. Yes, I do think having a "kiddie table" is a good idea. That way, I don't have to watch my nephew stick cranberry sauce up his nose and scream "NOSEBLEED" again.

3. Yes, I love the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade too. No, I did not see O-Town OR the O-Town rejects on their respective floats.

2. Yes, I'm glad you had a nice Thanksgiving. No, I don't want to hear about it.

1. No, I'm not anti-social, I'm just SICK AND TIRED OF ANSWERING THE SAME DAMN QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW MY THANKSGIVING WAS!!!!

[NikDC]

LMAO...Though tragically I did catch O-town, though not the rejects. I just want to know what moron chose that song to sing to a family oriented crowd?!? We fit together. I want to come inside and go all night I found myself almost covering my younger brother's ears and he's only 3 years younger than I am :eek: I don't care if it's your latest single that you're lipsyncing to...there are KIDS present!

But the rest of the answers work for me. Mer, keep that unfortunately green bean casserole incident in mind for future endings to your story ;)

The guy who got me earlier today and sparked this rant just cornered me in the kitchen and got all up into my leftovers that I'm eating for lunch today. I may yet kill today. :mad:

[leia1191]

2 words for you Nikki. . .

Exlax Brownies.

they're very effective ;)

[MerrySunshine]

Yes, indeed. Greenbeans firmly implanted in the brain for the Christmas get-together.

I do take comfort that there was an awkward silence after the exchange re: my singlehood, which I took to mean everyone else thought it was not a nice comment to make either. Burns me up, though, that the fact that I'm single gets pointed out at every family gathering, but my brother, also never married, has never had to endure it. :mad: I mean, he's 28, why isn't he considered a freak? It's because I'm female and I'm, therefore, SUPPOSED to be married. He's just the happy bachelor still sewing his wild oats. I have some oats left too, you know! Geez, I could buy and sell almost every suitor that comes knocking, but still somehow I'm thought of as needing a husband to take care of me. Crimeny, I'll probably be taking care of my husband!

OK, tirade over. :D

[LJK]

Not a straight jacket--you need a gag!

I resolved the "wow, did you realize you are the only cousin on both sides of the 26 children family to still be single?" question by having a snappy comeback of "Yes, but I get a lot more sex than they do." It hasn't been brought up since.;)

[MerrySunshine]

I've entertained the idea of saying that I'm a lesbian and that I'd be glad to bring my girlfriend around if they like, but I'm afraid it would kill my grandmother (if she ever figured out what a lesbian was). Then again, I'm afraid they'd all actually believe me . . . everyone except my Aunt, that is, who gets that I'm sarcastic like that . . . .

[LJK]

Wouldn't they just try to fix you up with a nice girl? My family would! They are equal opportunity humiliators!

[MerrySunshine]

Noooooo . . . . Conservative Southerners/Texans all. They'd call a psychiatrist. (All but my Aunt, my parents and my brother, that is . . . .)

[vester]

So ... how was everyone's Thanksgiving? ;)

For Christmas I'm going to take a mild sedative prior to dinner. Then I will smile politely when ...

a) my sister-in-law sighs and asks if this is all we're having.
b) my brother-in-law (whom I refer to lovingly as Eeyore) complains, yet again, about how tired he is and how hard his life is compared to everyone else
c) my father refuses to eat any of the congealed salads my mother-in-law has prepared and doesn't even want them on the table.

[MerrySunshine]

Why don't you tell them all you're a lesbian, v? I think that should be the catch-all comeback for all bad holiday behavior from family members.

You: What's that, Sister-in-Law, you say you don't think we have enough food?

Her: Well, a couple more types of potatoes and a few more pies would be nice.

You: How interesting you say that. I'm a lesbian.

I think it would work! Plus, it might light a few fires in the bedroom for you and Mr. V as well. :eek: I hear boys like girls who like girls. ;)

(Re: smilies . . . I've decided: I like the smiling Christmas ornament the best.)

[vester]

Yes, I like that smiley too.
I'm trying them all out.

Very good ideas Mer. Good ideas all around.
I may try that. I am a lesbian.
Trouble is, mr. v., would immediately get on the phone trying to find me a "date".

[NikDC]

Your father should try my congealed salad and that'd solve problem number 3. As for the rest, I suggest grabbing a bottle of So.Co. or Kahlua or the like as you leave the table in a huff telling them all to screw themselves. It's all about making a scene. If it's big enough, they'll think it's just temporary insanity and leave you alone, careful not to spark the problem again.

Though remember, kids, not too big of a scene, because there is such a thing as involuntary committment. :o

Hey, Mer...so, baby brother who is intelligent, successful, cute as all get out AND my age is still single, huh? Good to know ;)

[MerrySunshine]

Very single, in fact. He's anti-girlfriends right now . . . says the last chick had a nasty habit of checking up on him. Apparently, if he didn't have plans with her, he was supposed to be sitting at home waiting for her to call. Silly him! And here he was thinking that he could still hang out with his friends every now and again! What was he thinking? Glad she's gone. Psycho. But say the word if you want a fix up. We could easily meet up in Austin and have Brother o' Merry come out and about with us too. :D

[NikDC]

Duly noted. :D

[insearchofjason]

Shorty's losing his sixth sense. I would have thought he'd be here by now.

[leia1191]

In an effort to make those who suffered thru miserable Thanksgivings feel better, I'll share my most memorable Thanksgiving with y'all. . .

Six years ago, my sister was pregnant with my niece. So, it was the parents, my sister, and my former brother-in-law at the dinner table for Thanksgiving. The former brother-in-law (who'll we'll call "Earl") had uttered perhaps 5 complete sentences in the presence of the family in the oh, 4 years that we had known him, thus leading my father to refer to him as "The Missing Link." Instead of talking, he'd just sort of grunt when you said anything to him or asked a question. Needless to say, we just gave up.

Dad had just said the blessing and we were passing the food around the table when out of nowhere, Earl piped up with the following gem:

"Did y'all know that the baby was conceived backwards on the living room floor? You know, doggy style?"

There was a stunned silence; I"m still not sure if it's because of what he said, or the fact that he actually said something. Earl continued feeding at his trough as if nothing had happened. The rest of us finished the meal in silence and in record time. No one really knew what to say after that. The matter was pretty much forgotten until the next year, after my niece had been born. She shared her first words with us at Christmas.

One of them was doggy.

[vester]

bahahahahahahaha
That's one of the funniest stories I have heard!
OK, I think I've stopped laughing.
No, I haven't.
bahahahahahaha

[insearchofjason]

LMAO...

key word: FORMER

[MerrySunshine]

I think Earl may be one of my more unseemly yee-haw backwards relatives. Oh dear. That would have actually killed my grandmother. You win the Thanksgiving horror story contest, hands down!

[ellenmed]

Vester, just "reading" you laughing cracked me up.

Rahahahaha! Think Rosko could top that?

Oh....that was too funny.

[LJK]

I was getting ready to tell you about the time I went to a coworkers house and she dropped food on the kitchen floor, where her 2 dogs and 2 cats were walking, and picked it up and served it. And how everybody in the house walked by and sneezed on the turkey. And when we were getting ready to eat, we went around the "table" (tv trays in a circle, but that was kinda fun) and said what we were thankful for, our hostess said to me, "Since you are Jewish, why don't you say something in your native Hebrew?"

But suddenly that seems so insignificant and, well, dull.

How did you sit there without cracking up? I would have died! I'm not very controlled anyway, but it would have totally put me away.

[iggy]

It's the holiday season. People are pressured to express concern for their fellow man. I'd prefer if they just give me some spare change or something.

[NikDC]

While I haven't such a story yet, that's only because the brother-in-law to be hasn't spent a holiday at our table. The time will come. :o

[vester]

OK LJK, that story is absolutely a close runner up!
My favourite part ... the TV tables in a circle, nevermind the request for your native Hebrew! :p

[MerrySunshine]

Nik edited vester! v, what have we told you about dropping f-bombs in the 80s forum! ;)

[LJK]

I enjoy the occasional camp-value experience, so I thought it was kinda fun. But by then I was so grossed out I wouldn't eat anything. I pushed the food around on my plate, pretended I wasn't feeling well (by that point it wasn't really pretending) and left before dinner was over. Went home and made a frozen pizza.

Reflecting on it, I wish I did speak Hebrew, because I could have given them an ear full!

My next runner up--Went to my cousin's sister-in-law's house, where her father spoke at length about how much he loathes fat people.

[NikDC]

May we call you Lori, Lori, or do you prefer LJK?

I wish you'd just busted out in some gobbledygook that might have passed for some dialect of Hebrew just to show them. They probably wouldn't have known the difference and you could have muttered "moron" under your breath. :D

Yes, vester, what have I told you about that! Potty mouth :p (I'd hoped to get it in under the wire but I was mere seconds from the factual correction passing unnoticed)

[vester]

Thank you sweet Nikki!
For saving me from looking like the fookin' idiot I surely am. :)

[LJK]

Lori is fine. I don't know why I didn't take Lori when I registered--I mean, if I have so little imagination that I used my initials, why didn't I just use my name, for Pete's sake!

[Short Chris]

Fookin moderator in this place, always keeping the working man down... ;)

I just loved the princess' story, a definite kneeslapper.

[leia1191]

Thanks X, I figured you'd like that story.

And yes, the key word is former. Can't say that I was at all sorry to see him go.

[RedLexus]

this is why i'm so glad England doesn't share the ol' thanks giving rutine :)

[Patrick McIrish]

I don't get it. What was bad about what Earl said? Shessh. No wonder I am still single. :( :(


BTW, Vester got edited. (hehe)