Presidential Staff Positions

[NEWBS]

No this isn't about Monica!

Pretend we all live in the White House. We are all staff members of the President. Who is the president, and who is the staff, and what positions would each hold. If I leave someone out, please forgive me and add it.

Goody2Shoes
kevy1
PB&kev
pen&kev
NikDC
iggy
Chris
NEWBS
ISOJ
kentuckychic
garnet
McIrish
FSUKXAZ
Cali_1
ellenmed
blubutterfly/odz
Sideways
2old4this
mikecheck
BML
Sal
MJ
kelirich
Regis Philbin
bonzbabe
Luv2RockNsweat

[Edited by NEWBS on October 24th, 2000 at 06:32 AM]

[iggy]

This is a tough one.

Goody2Shoes: secret service
kevy1: pastry chef
PB&kev: Head of INS
pen&kev: asst. press secretary
NikDC: Vice President
iggy: Chief of Staff
Chris: Secretary of State
NEWBS: Special Task Force for Gay and Lesbian Tolerance
ISOJ: intern
kentuckychic: Secretary of Indian Affairs
garnet: Secretary of Treasury
McIrish: half brother of the President
FSUKXAZ: pet handler
Cali_1: President
ellenmed: driver
blubutterfly/odz: CIA head
Sideways: Supreme Court Justice nominee
2old4this: Special Task Force on Pest Control
mikecheck: gardener
BML: illegitimate child of half brother
Sal: guy who gets the unions to vote for the President
MJ: Joint Chiefs of Staff
kelirich: Ambassador to Iceland or wherever he's from
Regis Philbin: Secretary of Energy
bonzbabe: Surgeon General
Luv2RockNsweat: Post Master General (he already owns guns)

[PB&Kev]

Thanks Iggy! ;)

I'm now writing you in on my Presidential voting ballot.

I would be perfect for running the INS.

[NEWBS]

iggy
You just called ISOJ a lesbian! Cali too!

Guess that's why you didn't list a "First Man".

[iggy]

Newbs, you're not doing your job well. Now put on this pink triangle button.

[kentuckychic]

PB just had a really good idea. I've been contemplating writing in myself for president soooooo why don't we all write in Iggy for president (of course we'd have to use his real name). Now Iggy dear, if you should win we would seriously have to discuss this Indian Affairs thing....I don't think I like that title.

[NEWBS]

I'm inquiring about a rainbow-colored bumper sticker for my car as we speak.

[NEWBS]

Iggy is not your real name?

KY would be better suited as "Head of Housekeeping and Guest Accomodations"

She'd be ordering Pizza for all the guests, requesting a certain "security-cleared" driver.

[Edited by NEWBS on October 24th, 2000 at 07:00 AM]

[iggy]

Do they even have a Bureau for Indian Affairs anymore? Man, I've been out of school too long.

Alright, KY. Secretary of Health and Human Services. Intrepret that as you may.

My real name is Sal Collaziano.

[NikDC]

It'd be an honor to be Cali's VP. Goody, PB, blu--take care of Cali though. I'd really rather not have to step up to the plate :D

I'll ponder this over lunch and see what the cabinet ought to look like in my happy world.

[iggy]

I should have waited until lunch. That was taxing in the morning.

By the way, what was up with me choosing pastry chef for kevy? Anyhoo...

[ellenmed]

From a woman's point of view. BTW, good morning all.

Goody2Shoes -Sec. of Defense
kevy1 -White House Decorator
PB&kev -Speech Writer
pen&kev -First Lady
NikDC -Vice President
iggy -Intern
Chris -President
NEWBS -Joint Chiefs of Staff
ISOJ -Event Coordinator
kentuckychic -Surgeon General
garnet -CIA Agent
McIrish -First Lady's half brother
FSUKXAZ -Head Chef
Cali_1 -Bureau of Internal Affairs
ellenmed -President's Personal Aide
blubutterfly/odz -Secretary of Treasury
Sideways -Head of Secret Service
2old4this -Attorney General
mikecheck -Head Butler
BML -President's child from previous marriage
Sal -tests food before it's fed to the President
MJ -Press Secretary
kelirich -Ambassador to Iceland (or any other country)
Regis Philbin -Speaker of the House
bonzbabe -Historian
Luv2RockNsweat -General Swarzkopfs title?


okay, brain fart. that hurt...

[NEWBS]

I'm afraid to inquire of the duties of "Head" Butler.

[Short Chris]

As much as I appreciate being President, does iggy really have to be my intern? I don't think he'd look good in a beret.

[kentuckychic]

Surgeon General???? That's scary.....

[iggy]

I almost applied to intern at the White House...this was before all the unpleasantness.

Sadly, I'm Monica's age. We might have been there at the same time...but not the same rooms evidently.

[Luv2RockNsweat]

Hey, I don't own any guns. Never have, probably never will.
Also, the rumors of my being a militia member are untrue. Just wanted to clear those up. Oh yeah, "right of infinity" I like that may I use it?

[sunshinegirl]

I also almost applied to be a White House intern this spring

But then I realized I might not like the president.

So I changed my mind.

[iggy]

Luv2, you definitely have both barrels blazing in the election forum.

Might want to reign in those sanity horses a bit.

[bonzbabe]

Surgeon General eh? Hmm, let's see, my first official act would be to form a task force to design condoms that are sensitive and don't bunch up, taste good, and don't cause skin irritation. Is this too much to ask?

[garnet]

Bonz, I like the way you think. Let's hear a cheer for our new SG...hip hip hooray!

[bonzbabe]

Thank you, thank you. Who would like to assist me in this daunting undertaking?

[blubutterfly21]

More like Zip Zip hooray :p

Thanks sooo much Ellen for appointing me Secretary of treasury. Heh heh, I'll spend this nation into the ground baby! The only way I can save money is to keep making more ;)

[NikDC]

I'm finally ready to appoint my cabinet after much deliberation for such an important decision.

Goody2Shoes - Head of FBI
kevy1 - Secretary of Education with grammar and punctuation as her main focus ;)
PB&kev - Justice Secretary- her ties to the penal system ;)
pen&kev - Chairperson of the National Endowment of the Arts--tries to define "pornography"
NikDC - Attorney General
iggy - formally Chief of Staff 'til a inappropo comment to the press gets him demoted to Ambassador to Malaysia
Chris - failed candidate for Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, new Chief of Staff
NEWBS - Vice President--to get the Southern vote
ISOJ - Defense Secretary (her motto: shoot first, ask questions later)
kentuckychic - Transportation Secretary based on her knowledge of KY roadways ;)
garnet - Labor Secretary for how she works Milk
McIrish -
FSUKXAZ - 1st Family Official Food Taster/Poison Detector
Cali_1 - President-- only responsible one here
ellenmed - Secretary of Health and Human Services- only Doctor among us :p
blubutterfly/odz - Treasury Secretary- spend away
Sideways - Head of CIA
2old4this - Commerce Secretary--easier now that the Census is done.
mikecheck - Head of National Institute of Health under Ellen--she gives him money to researching fixing broken people
Sal - Secretary of Housing and Urban Development and Waste Management
MJ - Secretary of Agriculture--free country music tickets I bet
kelirich - Head of the United Nations.
Regis Philbin - FBI lead suspect for spying
Java- Official White House Speech Writer
bonzbabe - reporter always dodging the steps of the Press Secretary
sunshinegirl- Secretary of State- based on intensive knowledge of the Palestine region ;)
Luv2RockNsweat - Energy Secretary
SomeGuyNamedMike- Head of Secret Service

[sunshinegirl]

Are you sure about that Nikki?

When I don't know something, I make up my own geography.

Hey, it seems to work.

[NEWBS]

So I'm one gun shot away from having to be responsible?

I say "collect all guns NOW!!!!!"

I guess that's better than leading the effort to tolerate gays and lesbians. :)