G's Mutant Alien Lizard Theory: rough draft

[BSBGeezerFan]

You know it's gonna be bad when I start out referring to myself in the third person. I had the whole thing written out and my computer (prompted no doubt by the interference waves of the Emotari (or the BSB as they are known earthside) ate the whole beautiful thing. To avoid another such occurrence, I am going to do this in single posts.
It is unknown when they first actually came to this planet. All we know is what they have allowed to come out. You know how they (Kevin especially) talk about fate bringing them together. Ha! More like part of (I'm assuming a sinister plot, but it might be quite benign, it feels good so far anyway) a plot to glom onto our emotions and maintain a choke hold on our love and loyalty to all things Emotari, sorry, BSB.
Also, their earth incarnations or disguises or however they are cloaked are not foolproof (and watch what you're calling me) or I would not have been able to notice and surmise what I have been able to notice and surmise about them. I believe this is due to some sort of intra-ship malfunction caused by some catastrophe during the Emotar-Earth journey. More about this further down in the examples.

Okay. First, have you never seen them not eat flies? Aha, I thought so. Of course they're not going to eat them where you can see them eat them. And it is very, nay diabolically clever to appear to be chow hounds when they are observed eating or appearing to eat earth fare.

[This message has been edited by BSBGeezerFan (edited August 27, 2000).]

[BSBGeezerFan]

Howie's and Nick's speech patterns (wow, their syntax and parts of speech programs must really have malfunctioned), Kevin's v-e-r-y s-l-o-w interview speech pattern (I understand he is capable of great fluency while cursing when angry), Brian's clever imitation of a thick Kentucky accent (note that his first cousin with whom he was practically raised does not have the same one, well only a slight one to throw you off the scent), AJ's situational stutter. It is my belief that the intra-ship malfunction of unknown duration caused an individually differentiated glitch in the downloading of their English language programs thus causing the above anomalies. Note: AJ does not stutter when he sings (if anyone has heard him do that, keep it to yourself, I'm trying to uncover a conspiracy here) or according to Howie when he's not lying.

[BSBGeezerFan]

Someone, sorry whoever, posed that favorite color question. Almost everyone (and those who didn't are under the direct influence of the Emotari or I'm a duck) had blue in their answer. I said it then and I'll say it now. They spread their message of "love us, we're lizards" through brian waves which travel along that particular wavelength of the light-color spectrum by which we perceive the color blue.

[BSBGeezerFan]

Alien technology being what it is, they all had to have microprocessor chips implanted to augment their reptilian brians. That is why when you see them in interviews, when one is giving a long or involved answer to a question, the others will appear to space out. Unh, unh. They are automatically powering down to avoid ionic battery drain, like your Furby is quiet when you're not talking to it. All except Nick. Maybe because he's the biggest Emo-...BSB and has more matter for those impulses to travel through, his spacy eye movements and wandering attention are really an internal systems diagnostic. His last check must have set him on high because if you recall during that Ultrasound interview, he was interrupting everybody and talking across everyone like mad.
As with all programs there are occasional glitches, "he's mah cousin" and the way Howie (and it's always Howie) repeats word for word the story of how they got together with the same hand gestures and everything.

[BSBGeezerFan]

All the peace signs (Kevin and Howie) and Kevin's road show imitation of a flower child are due to a loop in the history program (it kept replaying the late 60's one too many times, thus trapping poor Boo) and somehow not downloading some key elements of pop culture for the Howster (buy a tv, dude).

[PrincessSprinkles]

Hey Geeze...I think your onto something here!! And guess what..He's mah cousin too!!
*snicker,snicker*

[PrincessSprinkles]

LMAO,Boo the flower child!!

[TRUEBSBFAN]

Ya know...I ,too, became suspicious when I noticed the difference between Kev's and Brian's "Kentucky" accents!! Unless, Kev really DOES have the same accent as Brian...and micro-the chip inside his brain has a short in it!! NO WONDER Kev talks so damn slow!!

LMAO about avoiding "ionic battery drain"!!

[BSBGeezerFan]

The LTL video was in actual fact a home movie of part of their journey. Note Kevin adjusting his nasal filters which allow them to breathe earth air.

There was a really big mistake in the official photo book. They allowed Andre to put in that picture of Nick and AJ on the floor. They were not sleeping. All reptiles become torpid and lethargic in those colder European climates. And those pink balloons were not party condoms, those were egg sacs. If they are the same gender that they are in their true forms, that means they left the females behind and thus the necessity of bringing egg sacs to fertilize.

So, there you have it. I have a few more examples but I think these speak for themselves. And lizard or not, they're still my Boys.

[This message has been edited by BSBGeezerFan (edited August 27, 2000).]

[lila]

keep them coming G and dont let the FBI get ahold of your Theory http://talk.livedaily.com/docs/biggrin.gif

[This message has been edited by lila (edited August 27, 2000).]

[TRUEBSBFAN]

OMG!! So Howie WASN'T acting on Roswell...he's REALLY an alien!!

It all makes sense to me now...

[lila]

roswell is his home away from home

[PopCultureLuvr]

Thanks for the first installment (I assume there is more!), G. http://talk.livedaily.com/docs/wink.gif Maybe Brian's voice is part of a siren-like song program to entrall us into a trancle-like state so that we will completely surrender like the kids who followed the Pied Piper of Hamlin. And I agree -- Howie really needs a tv! If only to watch the news to learn how to tell "the story" in different ways. http://talk.livedaily.com/docs/biggrin.gif At this point, we could all probably recite the thing with him verbatim!

[Suej+AJ+Kev]

Geeze very cleverly mentioned "Kevin's v-e-r-y s-l-o-w interview speech pattern".

Back in April, 2000 I taped the Kevin, Howie and AJ with Howard Stern interview, made a Real Player file of the whole thing and sent it off to Backstreet Millennium, where she had it posted as a streaming file. It was VERY POPULAR!! From there, I had MANY requests for copies of the cassette tape. I used my hubbys dual tape deck with a high speed dub.

Well, (and here's why I bring this up in YOUR thread) you can listen during the high speed dub and everything sounds like chipmunks. I couldn't realy understand what they were saying, except for Kevin! Whenever Kevin spoke, you could definately hear a difference in the pacing, and it was evident that it was him.

Ahh, that was a fun time in my world of BSB. I arranged some wonderful trades for that tape!!

Sue J.

Now, back to Geezer's "Backstreet Men In Black" Theory - I wonder what I would hear if I played that tape backwards?

[SweetDsLuggage]

Note: Sorry, it's Geeze, not SDL. SDL wouldn't be able to give you Heisenberg's Uncertainty Priciple if her life depended on it. It states that you can determine either the speed or position of a BSB, but not both.
SDL: Or give a rat's a** either.

Now, I'm sure it has occurred to you to wonder exactly how they got here from Emotar (don't even ask me what star cluster it is in but I do get the feeling that it's further out than the Rigel system). How do you hide even a small interstellar craft? Hmmm, hmmm, I find it coincidental that Chieron Studios is closing just as should be about time for the ship's 7 quadrillion mile checkup. Swedish BSB fans, see if you can get a look under that building.
I wonder if Brian has told Leighanne they are going to be making a small side trip during the honeymoon. I wonder if they've told Leighanne period.
They must not be total carnivores if the dogs aren't afraid of........hey, wait a minute........you don't think that's what's up with all those little dogs, do you, if they are real dogs.
If they are real, for the sake of political correctness I'm not going to assume that the dogs are in charge because that would be saying that mammalian intelligence is superior to reptilian intelligence and I'm not looking to get poison-laced hate mail from Gila monsters. At least not this time anyway.
Very funny. The Hater says that all the dogs are all my psychiatrist. That's silly. They don't look anything like him.
What IS the function of all those little yappy dogs? I'll have to think about that one. Any suggestions?

[This message has been edited by SweetDsLuggage (edited August 28, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by SweetDsLuggage (edited August 28, 2000).]

[TRUEBSBFAN]

The dogs are used as secret communication devices between the "guys" and the mother ship!! Notice how Lil' Tyke is ALWAYS with Brian or one of the other guys!! The high pitched yapping is instructions to the guys from the mother ship...

Good enough? Or do I need to go watch more X-Files?

[This message has been edited by TRUEBSBFAN (edited August 27, 2000).]

[WantBigDaddyKevANDHisCuz]

LINDSAY...GET YOUR ARSE IN THE PP'S TOPIC..oh yeah it's brandy...no one is talkign to me http://talk.livedaily.com/docs/frown.gif

[PrincessSprinkles]

Is it just me or does the topic totally belong in the archives?This one is classic!All we have now is things about tickets this,tickets that.

[daydreambeliever]

Geeze, have you been watching a little too much of the Sci-Fi channel? http://talk.livedaily.com/docs/wink.gif

[experienced]

geeze, i've miiiiiiiissssssssssssssed yyyyyoooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!

ok, a) instead of BRAIN, you typed BRIAN. i'm assuming this was intentional, but if not, you need to distance yourself from these boys for a few hours. http://talk.livedaily.com/docs/biggrin.gif

b) as far as the speech malfunction thing: why is it that howie repeats EVERYTHING? it's always in two's: as if he skips. http://talk.livedaily.com/docs/biggrin.gif (case in point, end of bk vid: "you can edit this, right? you can edit this, right? if you need to?" it's always in TWO'S--he SKIPPS!!! this isn't the only case i have, it's just the one that comes to mind...)

c) the way nick isolates himself from the world when he's not on stage. he's not a hermit, it's that he's the youngest, and wasn't really ready to be taken from the gestational pod; so he needs the dark and the "sleep" to continue to grow. notice how his hands become more elongated and flipper like every year...


you've opened a can of alien worms, my dear, i could go on all day...*giggle*

btw: how's things?

------------------
"We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give." -Winston Churchill


KTBS~Porn~A

"IF YOU PERV ON THEM, THEY WILL COME"--The Original Howie Pervs/BSB Porn Writers Association (SDL, Geeze, Experienced) :p

[SweetDsLuggage]

Ex, dude! Things is! I always try to type "brian" unless it's a serious post because...uh oh and you may be right, That's The Way I Like It.

Sweet'n'Low repeats things because interference from that wandering asteroid or meteor shower or contact with that alien (to them and us) garbage scow on the way here from the Rigel system somehow damaged his lingual articulation program causing that loop or as we say heanh, the Boy got a verbal hitch in his git along.

[SweetDsLuggage]

day, I think she's been having way too much time to think lately and as you can see this is the result. But she's a sci fi freak as if you couldn't tell. I could put the space filled with that stuff to much more use trying to figure out how to get next to The Chocolate Coconut CEO.

[experienced]

lmfao!!!!!!!!!!!

a verbal hitch in his git along?

wow. i don't think it's a matter of you getting too much sci-fi tv, it's a matter of too much pop culture. those john wayne movies gotta go, too.

btw: i'm a vampire freak, and i'm re-reading one of my favorite novels, which i've read like 8 times now and for some strange reason, all of the characters look like bsb now. this presents an interesting problem. so i can see where you're comin' from. http://talk.livedaily.com/docs/biggrin.gif

[BSBGeezerFan]

New Emotari Infiltration Evidence

1) Have you ever wondered why you are so addicted to BSB? Our frenzied and continual need to post something, anything is proof positive of how insidious (love that word), far-reaching and successful this Emotari conquer-from-within zap-'em-with-love-darts emotional and visual sensory assault is. It's not enough that we must listen to them. We MUST see them too. How many times have you wanted to or told yourself to get off this computer and go to bed or go to school (well, not WANTED to go to school) or do something else that serisouly needed doing but you had to post that next thougt or hear that next sound byte or see that next picture or read that next chapter of something BSB? It's not you, my sister, it's that Emotari crack.

2) Consider those underwater Bahamas pictures. The instructor said that it was ususally upsetting for new divers like they were (yes, I know about Nick) to be able to remove their masks underwater, but Howie, Kev and Nick just happily ripped those babies off and posed for pictures underwater. Check those pictures more closely for the operation of that third underwater lung and that clear set of second eyelids. Don't their eyes look strange?

3) Black and Blue, Black and Blue....I ask you and what JUST HAPPEN to be the exact colors of the Emotari Flag of Conquest?

Oh yeah! They're green, they're bad and they're here, baby!

[daydreambeliever]

ah, thank God it's not me...it's the Emotari crack...i should've known http://smilecwm.tripod.com/cwm2/cwm13.gif

[comebacker]

Geeze, I had my doubts about your alien lizard theory until I thought of something significant!

FACTOR THIS IN...

Ever since I moved to Orlando a few months ago (Orlando...original earthly destination of Emotari) all I have seen are hundreds of little LIZARDS running around EVERYWHERE!!

And to make this more intriguing, my sister and I have noticed that other Orlando residents (non-BSB fans) are totally oblivious to them! They walk by all the lizards like they aren't even there!

However, WE (clearly under the influence of the Emotari) can't help but stop and talk to every single one of these lizards along our path!!

THE COINCIDENCE OF THIS IS STARTING TO SCARE ME!!!!!

http://talk.livedaily.com/docs/eek.gif

[bsb ninja]

Geeze, where do Lou and those other guys factgor into this?

BTW, are you a Star Trek fan?

Love, April

[bsb ninja]

OH, how could I forget PHOENIX STONE! Ever notice how much he looks like a reptile? I'm assuming he wasn't disquised well enough and had too many glitches (one of them apparently being a much too inflated ego)...But why was he allowed to remain on earth? Is he a roque Emotari?

[BSBGeezerFan]

But, Ninja, how did you guess, lol? My next down time project is to learn Conversational Klingon.

And I agree about the strangeness of Phoenix Stone. Maybe he was an earlier version of the present incarnations which did not work because when attempted his Emotar emotion boradcast technique, Earth females responded with animosity rather than love and he had to go. You saw what they did to that Trent McJivvers dude. That interstellar catastrophe (see bove) just messed with the Emotari programming and facial appliance fit in some specimens. And (with apologies to all PS fans, but hey, if I can poke fun at our Boys, the non-Boy gets it too) if you've heard him sing, he's no threat. With very little Earth female-attraction capability, his threat is almost nil.

And cb, dude, we risk much talking in the open like this but you don't see any of the above-mentioned pink egg sacs attached to AJ now, do you? As Pink would say, "There you go." Since he was the Emotari with the strongest brooding skills, he was chosen to hatch the eggs (see picture of Nick and AJ on the floor in The Official Book and the note about the picture in prior posts). We can see the Emotari larvae (I know they look like lizards) because we are Emotari-sensitized, but those are cloaked baby Boys. Prolific little devils, aren't they?

Come, fellow sufferers, help gather evidence.

[bsb ninja]

Geeze, I knew you were a Trek fan cause of all the thought and detail you'd put into this. Ever flipped through "Worlds of teh Federation?" Good lord...I myself am not a huge fan.. but one of my middle names is Nichelle, so you can guess where i get my knowledge from.

BTW, have you seen teh documentary "Trekkies"
I'm still searching for the BSB fan equivalent of the guy with the robot.

Love, April

[BSBGeezerFan]

How much more evidence do you people need? SOMH should convince even the most hardened skeptic. We are going insane (those of us who are Emotari-sensitive) over the song already!

Ninja, I kind of have it figured out but it needs more work. I think Lou et als were the evil government agents sent to control and destroy our intrepid lizard heroes. Blessedly, the Boys escaped the sinister plot to replace their current emotion-shredding programming with (shudder) Boy Band chips! Oh the horror!

Note: Watch when they sing SOMH live watch to see where they put their hands when they sing "heart."

Double note: I think we already know where Nick's heart is. Why do you think he's always messing with Thor?

[Suej+AJ+Kev]

Geeze said,

"Double note: I think we already know where Nick's heart is. Why do you think he's always messing with Thor?"

You get me every time! http://smilecwm.tripod.com/net/rollsmile.gif

Sue J.

[BSBGeezerFan]

OF COURSE! (slapping both hands on top of head a la Brian in ALAYLM when he sees LA) How could I have been sooooo blind! The reason that IWITW and SOMH are so incomprehensible is that they are..........(wait for it).............Emotari source code signals to the home planet! Man! It's so simple. All that airplay for the single bounces off all those towers and satellites and things up there and you know some of those radio signals are going to bounce off into space.

Note the following:
-played my part (their disguises)
-win this war (their war of the emotions against Earth women and hey, who's fighting?)
-keep you (us, helloooo) in the dark (fooled)
-show you the shape of my heart (yeah, reactangular)
-confession (that they're lizards)
-got nothin' to hide no more (no, not now that they know I'm on the scent....

SDL: .....of a warm, nekkid, sleeping Howie with his hair tousled and him tangled up in the sheets..

SDL, CUT THAT OUT! Do you MIND, I'm alien busting here!
Sorry, where was I? Oh,

-man that I've become (yeah what were you before, Lizard Boy?)
-every minute it makes me weaker (how many times have they made you go weak at the knees and I imagine our yellow sun is not what they're accustomed to)
-loneliness is beautiful (I hear Emotar is grossly overpopulated so of course they would think this)
-tragical (the fact that is a less used form of the word "tragic" is right in keeping with my glitch in the syntax and usage module)

Oh man, I'm gonna get a medal for this...

SDL: Yeah, right before they take away your belt and shoelaces and shove you in a rubber room.

[BSBGeezerFan]

Just bumping it up for those who are yet unaware of the insidious Emotari plot, but as jdene has indicated, why fight it? And, you know, I can't think of a single reason.

SDL: Oooh, How, or whatever your Emotari name is, control me, baby!