The 50 Worst Music Artists In Music History

[xDANiELLEx]

The 50 Worst Music Artists In Music History
brought to you by Blender and typed up by me!



50.) IRON BUTTERFLY
Everything bad about the '60s, in one easy to avoid package.
Appalling Fact : In-aGadda-da-Vida was the first LP ever to be certified platinum.
Worst CD : Sun and Steel (1992)

49.) TOAD AND THE WET SPROCKET
Very poor band. Even poorer band.
Appalling Fact : Toad decided to have another go this year, playing dates with Counting Crows. RUN.
Worst CD : Pale (1990)

48.) MASTER P
The dumbest of the dirrty south.
Appalling Fact : Master P had a ferrari custom-painted in a Gucci-logo pattern.
Worst CD : Only God Can Judge Me (1999)

47.) GOO GOO DOLLS
Medicore band, woeful balladeers.
Worst CD : Gutterflower (2002)

46.) THE SPIN DOCTORS
Beards. Extended "jams." Oh dear, oh dear.
Appalling Fact : The Doctors got together while they were students at New York's New School of Jazz.
Worst CD : Homebelly Grove Live (1992)

45.) GIPSY KINGS
The curse of many a late-'80s dinner party.
Appalling Fact : Well known groover George H. W. Bush was so fond of the Gipsy kings that he asked them to perform at his inaugural presidential ball. For some reason, they declinded.
Worst CD : Este Mundo (1991)

44.) MANOWAR
No more metal. No more gay.
Appalling Fact : In 1993, Russian youth voted Manowar above the Beatles and Michael Jackson as the act they would most like to see perform live.
Worst CD : Sign of the Hammer (1985)

43.) MIKE & THE MECHANICES
"Every generation blames the one before," they sang. So we will.
Appalling Fact : Against sifnificant odds, there is a U.K.-based Mike & the Mechanices tribute band, the Living Years.
Worst CD : Begger on a Beach of Gold (1995)

42.) RICK WAKEMAN
Can play two synthesizers at once - but nothing that people want to hear.
Appalling Fact : While playing Yes songs live, Wakeman would wolf down curry during sections in which he had little to do.
Worst CD : Listomania (1975)

41.) WHITESNAKE
Dumb and dumberer.
Worst CD : Slip of the Tongue (1989)

40.) BLIND MELON
A video made them; herion undid them.
Worst CD : Soup (1995)

39.) BOB GELDOF
Appalling Fact : One recent Geldof song, "10:15," features the line "She told me I was beautiful/And I made her come a lot"
Worst CD : Sex, Age & Death (2002)

38.) NELSON
Not even a tramatic Hollywood childhood could make this duo interesting.
Appalling Fact : Had thier father not kicked them off his plane, Matthew and Gunnar would have perished in the crash that killed them.
Worst CD : Because They Can (1995)

37.) THE DOORS
He was the Lizard King. No, really...
Appalling Fact : Morrison is widely believed to have suffered his fatal heart attack while masterbating in the bathtub.
Worst CD : The Soft Parade (1969)

36.) 98 DEGREES
Well, their mothers must love them.
Appalling Fact : Buy the offical 98 Degrees board game and find out which band member once autographed a diaper!
Worst CD : This Christmas (1999)

35.) PAUL OAKENFOLD
Hey, Mr. DJ: Keep your day job!
Appalling Fact : Perry Farrell, Tricky, Ice Cube and Nelly Furtado lined up to contribute to Bunkka. Presumably without hearing the music first.
Worst CD : Bunkka (2002)

34.) LIVE
These U2 sound-alikes never did find what they were looking for.
Appalling Fact : The album titles Secret Samadhi derives from a form of Hindu medication.
Worst CD : Secret Samadhi (1997)

33.) JAPAN
An uncontestable argument against the '80s.
Appalling Fact : Their verson of Smokey Robinson & The Miracles' "I Second That Emotion" might be the worst Motown cover of all times.
Worst CD : Gentleman take Polaroids (1980)

32.) THE HOOTERS
The great folk-rock scare.
Worst CD : Zig Zag (1989)

31.) ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT
Too positive for thier own good.
Worst CD : Unplugged (1999)

30.) RICHARD MARX
The devil-king of MOR
Appalling Fact : Before his brief burst of stardom, Marx honed his painfully bland art as backing singer for Lionel Riche.
Worst CD : Repeat Offender (1989)

29.) SKINNY PUPPY
The audience rarely sang along to "Dog****."
Appalling Fact : On the Head Trauma tour, cEvin sliced open his stomach with broken glass and performed a vivisection. Relax, everyone - he was only kidding.
Worst CD : Too Dark Park (1990)

28.) CRASH TEST DUMMIES
They said Brad Robert;s voice was so deep it could be heard by whales. Not true, sadly.
Appalling Fact : They're Canadian.
Worst CD : A Worm's Life (1996)

27.) COLOR ME BADD
These Oklahomans sang about sex. But they couldn't keep up.
Appalling Fact : As kids, CMB regularly buttonholed such touring acts as Huey Lewis and the News and Bon Jovi for impromptu a cappella auditions.
Worst CD Now & Forever (1996)

26.) CELINE DION
One more reason to hate the French?
Appalling Fact : You might want to stay clear of Nevada until 2006: Dion recently began a three-year engagement at Caesar's Palace.
Worst CD: Celion Dion (1992)

[xDANiELLEx]

25.) JAMIROQUAI
The white, talentless Stevie Wonder.
Worst CD A Funk Odyssey (2001)

24.) BAD ENGLISH
With ex-members of Journey!
Worst CD Blacklash (1991)

23.) CREED
Whoever said the devil has all the best tunes was probably listening to Creed all the time.
Appalling Fact : This April, a fan sued the band following a show at which, it was alleged, Stapp was so incapaciated he was "unable to sing a single song."
Worst CD : Weathered (2001)

PRIMUS
"Care for the some prog-rock with cartoon character vocals on the side?" "No, Thanks!"
Appalling Fact : The ralling cry for Primus's misguided fans was "Primus sucks!" - intended a sarcas, yet all true.
Worst CD : Pork Soda (1993)

21.) THE ALAN PARSONS PROJECT
The sound inside the head of Pink Floyd's engineer. Zzzzz...
Appalling Fact : In the '90s, the world champion Chicago Bulls took the court to the pretentious swells of Parsons's "Sirius."
Worst CD : Pyramid (1978)

20.) HOWARD JONES
He came from England. Thanks, England.
Appalling Fact : Early in his career, Jones was accompanied by "improvisational dance" expert Jed Holie, who, in keeping with the lyrics to "New Song," mimed throwing off his "mental chains."
Worst CD : Live Acoustic America (1996)

19.) DAN FOGELBERG
Giving male sensitivty a bad name - one song at a time.
Appalling Fact : His 1992 hit "Run for the Roses" smelled of horse manure, and it was in fact about the Kentucky Derby.
Worst CD Twin Sons of Different Mothers (with Tim Weisberg) (1978)

18.) PAT BOONE
With his clean while bucks, he made rock and roll safe for the '50s nerd.
Appalling Fact : In 1977 his daughter Debbie topped the charts with "You Light Up My Life."
Worst CD : In a Metal Mood (1997)

17.) BENZINO
He rapped, he co-owned
Worst CD : The Benzino Project (2001)

16.) OINGO BOINGO
Artless art-rock.
Worst CD : Only A Lord (1981)

15.) YANNI
Fabio meets Tesh!
Appalling Fact : "I aviod words. If instrumental music is done properly, it bypasses logic, programming and society. It become primal. I compose by emotion."
Worst CD : Yanni Live at the Acropolis (1993)

14.) YNGWIE MALMSTEEN
Big in solos, short in songs.
Appalling Fact : Malmsteen's 1983 show at London's Marquee club sold out in minutes b/c of unsuspecting Bruce Springsteen fans who thought they were attending a secret [/b] gig by the Boss.
Worst CD : Concerto for Electric Guitar and Orchesta (1999)

13.) MICK JAGGER
Even Bill Wyman laughed at Mick's solo records.
Appalling Fact : In his native U.K., Jagger's latest solo release, Goodness in the Doorway, sold just 954 copies on its first day of release.
Worst CD : Goodness in the Doorway (2001)

12.) TIN MACHINE
David Bowie's darkest (non-acting) hour.
Appalling Fact : The bands roadies wore t-shirts that read "F U, I LIKE TIN MACHINE." They were the only ones.
Worst CD : Oy Vey, Baby (1991)

11.) LATOYA JACKSON
The least talented Jackson.
Worst CD : From Nashville to you (1994)

10.) AIR SUPPLY
The sound of eunuchs sobbing.
Appalling Fact : Determined to ruin the festive season, Air Supply once recorded a Christmas album.
Worst CD : The Christmas Almbum (1987)

09.) LEE GREENWOOD
Gives patriotism a bad name.
Appalling Fact : Greenwood performed a duet with Latoya Jackson on her dreadful 1994 album, From Nashville to you.
Worst CD : You've Got A Good Love Comin' (1985)

08.) VANILLA ICE
The white boy to end all white boys.
Appalling Fact : Widely denounced by hip hop fans as a phony, Ice rebuffed his detractors at the 1991 America Music Awards: "kiss my white ass!"
Worst CD : Hard to Swollow (1998)

07.) ASIA
Ridiculous album sleeves, virtuoso playing soulless rock. It can only be one band.
Appalling Fact :To this day, keyboardist Geoff Downes is happy to offer Asia's mission statement: "To play music that is panoramic, symphonic and rock at the same time."
Worst CD : Astra (1985)

06.)KANSAS
Beware of all bands named affter states or continents!
Appalling Fact : A feature of their live shows was roadie T. Rat, who would come onstage in a trench coat, top hat and clown mask. Then he would disrobe and dance naked.
Worst CD : Point of Know Return (1977)

05.) STARSHIP
They built this city on rock and roll. And crap!
Appalling Fact : Singer Grace Slick later disavowed "Nothing Gonna Stop Us Now," claiming in an interview, "I know damn well how fast a relationship falls apart."
Worst CD : Love Among the Cannibals (1989)

04.) KENNY G
This guy really blows!
Appalling Fact : He graduated magna cum laude from the University of Washington with a degree in accounting.
Worst CD Classics in the key of G (1999)

03.) MICHAEL BOLTON
Otis Redding died for this?
Appalling Fact : After losing a plagiarism suit to the Isley Brothers, Bolton tried to avoid paying them royalites by buying their publishing house.
Worst CD : Timeless: The Classic (1993)

02.) EMERSON, LAKE & PALMER
Welcome back, my friends, to the second-worst band in history!
Appalling Fact : Singer-bassist Greg Lake performed on a $10,000 Persian rug that roadies vacuumed before every show.
Worst CD : Love Beach (1987)

01.) INSANE CLOWN POSSE
They sound even stupider then they look.
Appalling Fact : While appearing on The Howard Stern Show in 1999, Shaggy 2 Dope told Sharon Osbourne to "buff my pickle." She declined.
Worst CD : The Wraith: Shangri-La (2002)

[`· bR0kEN «]

I like Live. They aren't U2 sound-a-likes. U2 aren't transcendentalists... & Live is

[- - r0Ck 0n *´]

Ashton.. from the JMac boards...? lol

[*Candy*]

Some of those really don't belong on the list...like the Goo Goo Dolls, and Mick Jagger....

[mcbrizzle46]

how the hell can the doors be on that list, thats absolute bull****, and i want to know what you think the 50 best bands are

[Don'tAskMeWhy]

The list is from Blender magazine, not her personal opinion.

[Dr Gwen Stefani]

Just WHAT is Vanilla Ice DOING on that list? :mad:

[Desarae]

Excellent list, I've never heard of Blender magazine though, sounds like it might be my cup of tea!!

[Sofie]

The Doors DON'T belong in this list, surely?

[Don'tAskMeWhy]

Originally posted by Desarae
Excellent list, I've never heard of Blender magazine though, sounds like it might be my cup of tea!!

It's a great magazine! It's been around for about a year and a half...it's made by the people who make Maxim. I've been hooked since the first issue!

[Jebesy]

That's unfair... LIVE is ****ing amazing... Ed is a genius, if you read the lyrics and listen to that man's voice... i get blown away every time i hear it.

The new album, "Bird of Pray" is amazing.

[Rew]

The only ones that shouldn't be on there are Toad the Wet Sprocket and Alan Parsons.

And maybe Spin Doctors.

Alan Parsons could produce circles around anyone Blender likes.

[Rew]

Originally posted by Jebesy
That's unfair... LIVE is ****ing amazing... Ed is a genius, if you read the lyrics and listen to that man's voice... i get blown away every time i hear it.

The new album, "Bird of Pray" is amazing.

:sick:

[rockchicsarah]

Yeah I agree, some bands definitely shouldn't be on that list. Never heard of Blender magazine.

[Soprano Barbie]

Blender LOVES to stir up controversy among its readers so it gets more publicity. Many of those don't deserve to be on that list. And where is David Hasselhoff? He's the WORST! LOL

[Lilith]

I hate when they do these list. It really is a matter of personal opinion on what people like or don't like. Half of those bands and artist don't even belong there.

[Plastic_Wings]

#s 49, 46, 40, 37 (The doors?? WTF??), 34, 29, 21, 2, 1


what the hell are these bands doing on this list? Blender is the worst magazine ever. Live is amazing, toad the wet sprocket is genius, spin doctors were fun, as is insane clown posse, alan parsons is great...and who the hell decided to put the doors on this list? One of the most influential rock bands.... jesus!

[emerilcool]

25.) JAMIROQUAI
The white, talentless Stevie Wonder.
Worst CD A Funk Odyssey (2001)

24.) BAD ENGLISH
With ex-members of Journey!
Worst CD Blacklash (1991)

23.) CREED
Whoever said the devil has all the best tunes was probably listening to Creed all the time.
Appalling Fact : This April, a fan sued the band following a show at which, it was alleged, Stapp was so incapaciated he was "unable to sing a single song."
Worst CD : Weathered (2001)

PRIMUS
"Care for the some prog-rock with cartoon character vocals on the side?" "No, Thanks!"
Appalling Fact : The ralling cry for Primus's misguided fans was "Primus sucks!" - intended a sarcas, yet all true.
Worst CD : Pork Soda (1993)

21.) THE ALAN PARSONS PROJECT
The sound inside the head of Pink Floyd's engineer. Zzzzz...
Appalling Fact : In the '90s, the world champion Chicago Bulls took the court to the pretentious swells of Parsons's "Sirius."
Worst CD : Pyramid (1978)

20.) HOWARD JONES
He came from England. Thanks, England.
Appalling Fact : Early in his career, Jones was accompanied by "improvisational dance" expert Jed Holie, who, in keeping with the lyrics to "New Song," mimed throwing off his "mental chains."
Worst CD : Live Acoustic America (1996)

19.) DAN FOGELBERG
Giving male sensitivty a bad name - one song at a time.
Appalling Fact : His 1992 hit "Run for the Roses" smelled of horse manure, and it was in fact about the Kentucky Derby.
Worst CD Twin Sons of Different Mothers (with Tim Weisberg) (1978)

18.) PAT BOONE
With his clean while bucks, he made rock and roll safe for the '50s nerd.
Appalling Fact : In 1977 his daughter Debbie topped the charts with "You Light Up My Life."
Worst CD : In a Metal Mood (1997)

17.) BENZINO
He rapped, he co-owned
Worst CD : The Benzino Project (2001)

16.) OINGO BOINGO
Artless art-rock.
Worst CD : Only A Lord (1981)

15.) YANNI
Fabio meets Tesh!
Appalling Fact : "I aviod words. If instrumental music is done properly, it bypasses logic, programming and society. It become primal. I compose by emotion."
Worst CD : Yanni Live at the Acropolis (1993)

14.) YNGWIE MALMSTEEN
Big in solos, short in songs.
Appalling Fact : Malmsteen's 1983 show at London's Marquee club sold out in minutes b/c of unsuspecting Bruce Springsteen fans who thought they were attending a secret [/b] gig by the Boss.
Worst CD : Concerto for Electric Guitar and Orchesta (1999)

13.) MICK JAGGER
Even Bill Wyman laughed at Mick's solo records.
Appalling Fact : In his native U.K., Jagger's latest solo release, Goodness in the Doorway, sold just 954 copies on its first day of release.
Worst CD : Goodness in the Doorway (2001)

12.) TIN MACHINE
David Bowie's darkest (non-acting) hour.
Appalling Fact : The bands roadies wore t-shirts that read "F U, I LIKE TIN MACHINE." They were the only ones.
Worst CD : Oy Vey, Baby (1991)

11.) LATOYA JACKSON
The least talented Jackson.
Worst CD : From Nashville to you (1994)

10.) AIR SUPPLY
The sound of eunuchs sobbing.
Appalling Fact : Determined to ruin the festive season, Air Supply once recorded a Christmas album.
Worst CD : The Christmas Almbum (1987)

09.) LEE GREENWOOD
Gives patriotism a bad name.
Appalling Fact : Greenwood performed a duet with Latoya Jackson on her dreadful 1994 album, From Nashville to you.
Worst CD : You've Got A Good Love Comin' (1985)

08.) VANILLA ICE
The white boy to end all white boys.
Appalling Fact : Widely denounced by hip hop fans as a phony, Ice rebuffed his detractors at the 1991 America Music Awards: "kiss my white ass!"
Worst CD : Hard to Swollow (1998)

07.) ASIA
Ridiculous album sleeves, virtuoso playing soulless rock. It can only be one band.
Appalling Fact :To this day, keyboardist Geoff Downes is happy to offer Asia's mission statement: "To play music that is panoramic, symphonic and rock at the same time."
Worst CD : Astra (1985)

06.)KANSAS
Beware of all bands named affter states or continents!
Appalling Fact : A feature of their live shows was roadie T. Rat, who would come onstage in a trench coat, top hat and clown mask. Then he would disrobe and dance naked.
Worst CD : Point of Know Return (1977)

05.) STARSHIP
They built this city on rock and roll. And crap!
Appalling Fact : Singer Grace Slick later disavowed "Nothing Gonna Stop Us Now," claiming in an interview, "I know damn well how fast a relationship falls apart."
Worst CD : Love Among the Cannibals (1989)

04.) KENNY G
This guy really blows!
Appalling Fact : He graduated magna cum laude from the University of Washington with a degree in accounting.
Worst CD Classics in the key of G (1999)

03.) MICHAEL BOLTON
Otis Redding died for this?
Appalling Fact : After losing a plagiarism suit to the Isley Brothers, Bolton tried to avoid paying them royalites by buying their publishing house.
Worst CD : Timeless: The Classic (1993)

02.) EMERSON, LAKE & PALMER
Welcome back, my friends, to the second-worst band in history!
Appalling Fact : Singer-bassist Greg Lake performed on a $10,000 Persian rug that roadies vacuumed before every show.
Worst CD : Love Beach (1987)

01.) INSANE CLOWN POSSE
They sound even stupider then they look.
Appalling Fact : While appearing on The Howard Stern Show in 1999, Shaggy 2 Dope told Sharon Osbourne to "buff my pickle." She declined.
Worst CD : The Wraith: Shangri-La (2002)
F*** Blender Magazine
They don't know what the hell music is.
Celine Dion, Arrested Development, The Doors
Please
They are way better than your garbage magazine

[FLamingoLane]

Okay...first the obvious, what brain-dead journalism school drop out put the friggin' DOORS on this list? Pick up a copy of Morrison's Hotel or Waiting For The Sun and give me a call. Pea brain.

Primus? The best bassist in the business. Thats enough said, but I'll continue. Not every song has to be a bungee jump introspectively... sometimes we just wanna slap our leg and giggle.

Oingo Boingo? Again, not brain surgeons music... but what better Halloween song is there than Dead Man's Party? And check out the man's movie score credits.

I agree with all the previous Live statements. Great band live. Mental Jewelry is one of the best albums EVER.

Rock on brothers & sisters,
Skip

[darkhorse]

Where's Yoko and her friend Lou Reed ?

[goo&xtinafan]

like the Goo Goo Dolls, and Mick Jagger....



amen on that :)

[drunkn]

Jamiraqoui? Are you frikken serious? I love them. Got almost every album. If not all, i gotta recheck.

[RightThumbTip]

There's a handful of good bands in there but other than that I pretty much agree with it.

[remphish1]

Toad The Wet Sprocket rules..they write very insightful pop songs. The guy who put them on their you can tell never listened to their albums...doesn't give any reason other than their band name stinks?!

[StarLiteKiss]

Crappy list if you ask me... but what else would you expect from the publishers of Maxim Magazine?

[Ivy Ash]

[B]i like the doors and jagger. but Vanilla ice definately belongs on this list. He is such a poser. but you didn't hear it from me. need more oppinions? ask anyone...

[santiago]

haha. great list. certainly curious about the doors. maybe overrated. but i still like them. i got a kick out of seeing Tin Machine up there. you know your band sucks when bowie is your front man and all critics can talk about is how two of the members are soupy sales' kids.

[pretentiousprada]

I don't agree with some things on that list, but they totally left out Manfred Manns Earth Band. They sang "Blinded by the Light". It is seriously the worst song I've ever heard!