bekahbeans
Jul 7th, 2004, 10:11 PM
Alright you punks. I'm concerned with the lack of devotion you all have been showing me lately. I have received no gifts, very few compliments and certainly no excellent indications of your loyalty. I would admit that this could partly be due to the lack of activities I've provided, but I am never at fault so I refuse to admit that.
Now there is a poll going on in the COT board about who could beat up a stupid super model. I expect each of you to be voting for me. I should be leading by at least 7 or 8 votes and I'm tied with my cousin. Unacceptable. I expect you each to go and vote for me. GO! NOW!
No wait, read the rest of this first.
Ok, next on the agenda. I have just applied to become ordained. I did it at a couple different places, just to be safe. Here is the certificate thingie one of the cites gave me to print off (Ironically, this place is supposedly in Modesto, CA. I grew up there...this cannot be a coincidence, I’m sure of it) I can't get my name to show up on here, but trust me, it's there. Right between the "This certificate..." and "and has all the rights..." They even call me Reverend:
http://www.ulc.org/lib/ordination/credentialImages/colorTop.gif
http://www.ulc.org/lib/ordination/credentialImages/colorMiddle.gif
http://www.ulc.org/lib/ordination/credentialImages/colorSigBottom.gif
And here is stuff from the other one:
******************************************************
This notice hereby confirms that
Rebekah Leader
**** * **********
*******, MI ***** USA
is an ordained member of the clergy of
The Church of Spiritual Humanism
Date of Ordination: July 7, 2004
Ordained by R. A. Zorger, President
1. www.SpiritualHumanism.org
******************************************************
CONGRATULATIONS AND WELCOME!
The Church of Spiritual Humanism is happy to inform you that your ordination request has been reviewed and approved, and you are now an officially ordained clergy member.
You are now entitled to all privileges and courtesies normally offered to ordained members of the clergy. The record of your ordination has been entered into the official permanent records of the Church of Spiritual Humanism. Ordinations by the Church of Spiritual Humanism are for life, and are awarded completely free and without monetary charge.
Please print or otherwise preserve this notice for your records.
As an ordained member of the clergy, you are hereby authorized by the CSH to officiate religious rites and ceremonies, including marriage, baby naming, funeral services, invocations, and holiday ceremonies, as permitted and subject to the laws and regulations of your country, state, and municipality. It is important that before you officiate any civil ceremony (such as marriages), you know and comply with all laws governing your locality.
The Church of Spiritual Humanism promotes religion based on reason. As a member of the CSH clergy it is your charge to strive to base your actions on, and influence others to be motivated by, deliberation and reason and not the irrational, emotional, or subjective. Furthermore your responsibilities are to peacefully follow the proper course of action, and to avoid infringing on the rights of others. You alone are responsible for your actions as a member of the clergy.
If you have any question please feel free to email me.
Thanks for helping make the world a better place,
R. A. Zorger, President
Church of Spiritual Humanism
I kinda like the Spiritual Humanism one. It sounds neat. Too bad you have to pay like 14 bucks to get cards and a real certificate. Send me money my followers, so that I can order that stuff.
I am calling myself Rebekah Leader because A) I am the leader, and B) I don't want any of you knowing my real last name. You stalkers.
I would like each and every one of you to become ordained as well. It will make our religion that much more credible. However I want to approve your titles first. See, I'm Rebekah Leader. No one else can be Leader. I'm thinking you guys can be things like, “Dave Prophet” and “Liz High Priestess.” You come up with what position you want and then I'll either approve or reject it. Be creative..
And last but not least, I've noticed several new people on this board. I am still accepting members to the Bekah-is-the-Great-Master-Who-I-Adore-With-All-My-Being religion. Let me know if you wish to join.
Now there is a poll going on in the COT board about who could beat up a stupid super model. I expect each of you to be voting for me. I should be leading by at least 7 or 8 votes and I'm tied with my cousin. Unacceptable. I expect you each to go and vote for me. GO! NOW!
No wait, read the rest of this first.
Ok, next on the agenda. I have just applied to become ordained. I did it at a couple different places, just to be safe. Here is the certificate thingie one of the cites gave me to print off (Ironically, this place is supposedly in Modesto, CA. I grew up there...this cannot be a coincidence, I’m sure of it) I can't get my name to show up on here, but trust me, it's there. Right between the "This certificate..." and "and has all the rights..." They even call me Reverend:
http://www.ulc.org/lib/ordination/credentialImages/colorTop.gif
http://www.ulc.org/lib/ordination/credentialImages/colorMiddle.gif
http://www.ulc.org/lib/ordination/credentialImages/colorSigBottom.gif
And here is stuff from the other one:
******************************************************
This notice hereby confirms that
Rebekah Leader
**** * **********
*******, MI ***** USA
is an ordained member of the clergy of
The Church of Spiritual Humanism
Date of Ordination: July 7, 2004
Ordained by R. A. Zorger, President
1. www.SpiritualHumanism.org
******************************************************
CONGRATULATIONS AND WELCOME!
The Church of Spiritual Humanism is happy to inform you that your ordination request has been reviewed and approved, and you are now an officially ordained clergy member.
You are now entitled to all privileges and courtesies normally offered to ordained members of the clergy. The record of your ordination has been entered into the official permanent records of the Church of Spiritual Humanism. Ordinations by the Church of Spiritual Humanism are for life, and are awarded completely free and without monetary charge.
Please print or otherwise preserve this notice for your records.
As an ordained member of the clergy, you are hereby authorized by the CSH to officiate religious rites and ceremonies, including marriage, baby naming, funeral services, invocations, and holiday ceremonies, as permitted and subject to the laws and regulations of your country, state, and municipality. It is important that before you officiate any civil ceremony (such as marriages), you know and comply with all laws governing your locality.
The Church of Spiritual Humanism promotes religion based on reason. As a member of the CSH clergy it is your charge to strive to base your actions on, and influence others to be motivated by, deliberation and reason and not the irrational, emotional, or subjective. Furthermore your responsibilities are to peacefully follow the proper course of action, and to avoid infringing on the rights of others. You alone are responsible for your actions as a member of the clergy.
If you have any question please feel free to email me.
Thanks for helping make the world a better place,
R. A. Zorger, President
Church of Spiritual Humanism
I kinda like the Spiritual Humanism one. It sounds neat. Too bad you have to pay like 14 bucks to get cards and a real certificate. Send me money my followers, so that I can order that stuff.
I am calling myself Rebekah Leader because A) I am the leader, and B) I don't want any of you knowing my real last name. You stalkers.
I would like each and every one of you to become ordained as well. It will make our religion that much more credible. However I want to approve your titles first. See, I'm Rebekah Leader. No one else can be Leader. I'm thinking you guys can be things like, “Dave Prophet” and “Liz High Priestess.” You come up with what position you want and then I'll either approve or reject it. Be creative..
And last but not least, I've noticed several new people on this board. I am still accepting members to the Bekah-is-the-Great-Master-Who-I-Adore-With-All-My-Being religion. Let me know if you wish to join.