please help- GA Speeding ticket, family issues, what else??

[NSync4u]

so i got my first speeding ticket yesterday. i am 19, almost 20 in 2 weeks and was going 21 over. 66 in a 45 to be exact. so, according to DMV website its only 3 points on my license, so i dont lose it. but yah- does anyone know? on top of that, my mom told me that my 17 year old cousin is pregnant. she is just a kid. top ranking dancer, cheerleader, and youth activist, and she is pregnant- i dont feel bad, but i dont feel awesome. her life is gonna change forever. she cant graduate now, she cant go to prom, or go to college next year. my family is extremely conservative (not me, lol) and when they find out we think they will disown her. her parents cry every day. but i dont want them to be sad- this can be a good experience. omg i just am a bottle full of emotions. and then on top of that, my new bf broke up with me bc "i dont intrigue him enough".. and my best guy friend accuses me of being all over him and his new gf hates me because she told me i am secretly in love with him. (but yet i had a bf when she told me this)-- i am just falling apart! what should i do about each situation??

[Terrence Jamal]

Ok, first up I don't know about the license and if you will lose it or not, so I can't help with that. Secondly, why can't your cousin graduate, or go to the prom. Yes her life will ultimately change, but that does not mean she has to be robbed from doing the things she is entitled to. She can still go to the prom if she wants, and she can still (and SHOULD STILL) graduate as planned. Yes she is young, and having a baby, but it is not the end of her life. It is the start of a new beautiful life of a new child. She can go to college next year. She can go somewhere close to home, or put the child in day care or something while she is in class. Your cousin should feel the drive to accomplish everything in her life now b/c she is pregnant. She has a new life to take of, so she should strive to be the best to provide nothing but the best for her child. Yes it will be harder on her to do certain things, but it is in no way impossible. Any and every thing is possible if you have a sincere desire to accomplish it.

Her parents may be mad, but they have to realize that no matter how mad, and how disappointed they may be, she is still their daughter, and this child will still be their grandchild. So they will have to suck it up, and get over it. I hate how some parents get mad at their child and disown them, or put them out of the house b/c they are ashamed of them, or dislike something they did. Some parents get so caught up in how their child should or ought to be, when in reality this child, no matter how young she is has a mind of their own, and will do things that he or she ultimately wants to do. I don't condone young people having children like that, but as of now, what's done is done and nothing can change that. Parents get so concerned in what outside people will say about them when word gets around that their baby is having a baby. So what? I wish I would let some outside people that have no clue what goes on in my house behind closed doors dictate how I should treat my children. Please... Ok, I'm getting too involved, let me move on...

If your bf says you don't intrigue him enough then bump him. That just means that you are above his level and he can't understand you. Don't alter yourself to better fit the image of a man. Be the unique individual that you are and live your life for you. If he can't accept you and love you for the beautiful creation that you are then he doesn't need to have any part in your life whatsoever. But you know what, that just means that someone else who is better for you is about to come your way and knock your socks off, and make you forget about your ex. However saying you don't intrigue him enough sounds fishy. That sounds like one of those bull explanations people use to get out of relationships. That's right up there with "it's not you, it's me..." BULL. How long were you together? What intrigued him to get you in the first place, and how did that change while the two of you were together. But I say check his dirty laundry b/c you may find something nasty in there that he may want to cover up, but let me move on.

Also it sounds like your best friend's girlfriend is insecure about herself and her relationship with her man. If she was secure about herself, and what he meant to her, then she should have no problem with the two of your hanging out b/c baby at the end of the day I know who he is coming back to. But that's something that he has to check in his own relationship... Maybe homeboy needs to let her know like I have let so many past girlfriend's know... so and so was here long before you got here, and will be here long after you leave, so get over it and pass the peas...

Pick your head up and walk proud, there is no need to get depressed over another person's ignorance...

[misty twilight]

Bravo, TJ! I definitely second everything you just said. But I am going to add a little of my own.

First off, on the license, I would say that usually a first offense is just that, and as long as you go to court and pay your ticket as you are supposed to, then you should be fine. Just be more careful driving. Remember, traffic laws are there for a reason, no matter how easy it is to speed along an empty road.

I can relate to your cousin's situation, and I can say with 100% confidence that she can absolutely still do all of the things she wanted to. She can most definitely graduate and go to her prom...I did. And I had a blast! College, in some ways, is much easier for younger mothers, because there are grants and loans set aside for them specifically. Being a young mother she should qualify for help from the state with child care, and can continue her education as planned. Yes, a child does change your life in many ways, but it in no way ends your life :) And I pray for her sake that she does not get disowned, because that is possibly the worst thing a parent could do for a child who is in desperate need of love and understanding right now. I would like to believe that all parents are able to set aside their misgivings and love and support their children as they should.

And the boyfriend, as TJ said, is not worth it. If he can't love you just the way you are, then you are better off without him. Don't waste your time or your life trying to be something somebody else expects you to be. Be you, accept who you are and love yourself. That is what matters.

And the best friend thing, I think everyone goes through that at one point or another. Myself, about 75% of my friends are men. I have been friends with them through girlfriend after girlfriend, and if the girl couldn't handle it, they moved on. Same for my boyfriends, if they could not handle me having a best friend who was male, I asked them to move on. Friends are for life. Nothing should come in the way of that. :)

[kk822]

I agree with TJ and inlovewjc. Your cousins life will change, but she can still do all the things she wants to. And the your bf... so not worth it.

[NSync4u]

you guys rock! thank you! omg i feel so much better-- i dont know why, but i cant seem to get off the whole ticket thing. i am not afraid of the money- i have alot in the bank but i am so afraid of my insurance-- is there any way to lower it after you get a ticket? like i know its gonna skyrocket- and i hate to sound like a brat, but my parents pay for that, and i pay for my car- and i am afraid they will make me start paying if its soo high, ya know? has anyone gone thru this? YOU GUYS bring me SOOO much incouragement. thank you!

[pinky]

I'm not sure how it works everywhere, but I think that in some states, if you take a driver improvement course, you can minimize the increase in your insurance. We're still holding our breath about my son's insurance, since he had an accident in the spring that involved some medical stuff for him and his passenger.

And TJ and mici gave you great advice about your cousin.

[SparkleHugs]

i think as long as you pay it youre good.

[lost_n_justin's_smile]

Just because your cousin is pregnant doesn't mean her life has to end...change yes, end no. I knew a girl who went to Prom and was Prom Royalty when she was 5 months pregnant. She had the baby, continued with school, and graduated as a 4.0 student.