TouchOfMyHand
Aug 1st, 2005, 11:09 AM
http://www.ew.com/ew/article/commentary/0,6115,1088478_1||233612|1_0_,00.html
Pop Divas’ Movie Debuts
To celebrate Jessica Simpson hitting the big screen in ''The Dukes of Hazzard,'' take a look back at other pop divas' first major movie roles
by Michael Slezak
Madonna
Desperately Seeking Susan (1985)
http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/1736/121053madonnal7aw.jpg
THE ROLE The titular free spirit, whose wild life and series of personal ads inspire chaos and excitement in the life of a suburban housewife (Rosanna Arquette)
DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY Low. Susan's brash, scheming persona fit Madonna like a lacy glove.
LEVEL OF SUCCESS 7 You can mock her later efforts in Shanghai Surprise or Dangerous Game, but admit it: You've lost count how many times you've gotten into Madge's groove watching Desperately in cable reruns.
TASTY TIDBIT Desperately's director, Susan Seidelman, went on to direct the pilot episode of another Manhattan-set, female-focused comedy, Sex and the City.
EW VIDEO GRADE B-
Mariah Carey
Glitter (2001)
http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/2013/121053mariahl9zp.jpg
THE ROLE Rising pop star Billie Frank
DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY Low. Aside from the film's (alleged) mid-'80s setting, Billie's mixed-race roots, difficult childhood, and climb from backup singer to chart-topper parallel Mariah's own story, right down to her troubled romance with a record producer.
LEVEL OF SUCCESS 0 Is there anything worse than getting out-acted by a common housecat? Carey's stupefyingly blank performance was so Titanically bad, it almost took her singing career down with the ship. Ah well — at least equally abysmal efforts by Glitter's screenwriter (Kate Lanier), director (Vondie Curtis-Hall), and leading man (Max Beesley) mean Mariah wasn't all to blame.
TASTY TIDBIT He may not cop to it after this year's well-received performances in Crash and Hustle & Flow, but Terrence Howard still owes a small karmic debt for appearing in, as EW's video review calls Glitter, its generation's ''very own cult crapsterpiece.''
EW MOVIE GRADE D
Britney Spears
Crossroads (2002)
http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/2346/121053britneyl9yo.jpg
THE ROLE Virginal high-school valedictorian Lucy Wagner, who sets off on a cross-country road trip with two estranged childhood pals (Taryn Manning, pictured at right, and Zöe Saldana) and one handsome stranger (Anson Mount, center)
DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY Medium. Britney's character is required not only to be a poet — we see her penning the words to ''I'm Not a Girl (Not Yet a Woman)'' — but also a convincing rocker, belting a karaoke rendition of ''I Love Rock 'N' Roll.'' No matter your feelings about Spears, you know that's something of a stretch.
LEVEL OF SUCCESS 5 Spears may not prove to be Meryl Streep, but she holds together this patchwork quilt of teen-dream clichés with an adequate screen presence.
TASTY TIDBIT Despite plenty of pre-opening publicity, Crossroads grossed only $37 million domestically.
EW MOVIE GRADE B+
Janet Jackson
Poetic Justice (1993)
http://img.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/050728/121053__janet_l.jpg
THE ROLE Los Angeles hairdresser-by-day, poet-at-heart Justice, who begins to rethink her stance on romance during a road trip with a handsome, complicated postal worker
DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY Medium. Mirroring Jackson's public persona at the time this movie was made, Justice is a soft-spoken yet thoughtful dreamer. But we're guessing Jackson had to reach beyond her own life experience to react to such unpleasantries as close-range shootings, disrespectful men, and working the old 9-to-5.
LEVEL OF SUCCESS 5 Jackson gets a passing grade when it comes to capturing the quiet struggle of a woman who seeks more out of life, but she fails her chemistry exam — despite the smoldering presence of costar Tupac Shakur (pictured, with Jackson).
TASTY TIDBIT At the request of director John Singleton, Jackson packed on an extra 10 pounds for her role, so audiences wouldn't confuse Justice with, say, a member of Rhythm Nation 1814.
EW MOVIE GRADE C-
Mandy Moore
A Walk to Remember (2002)
http://img.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/050728/121053__mandy_l.jpg
THE ROLE Virtuous high school outcast Jamie Sullivan, who forges an unlikely romance with bad boy Landon Carter (Shane West, pictured with Moore) in this film version of Nicholas Sparks' best seller.
DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY Medium. While it's not hard to buy perky-sweet Moore as a righteous kinda heroine, she's not the first actress you'd imagine as an awkward teen pariah.
LEVEL OF SUCCESS 4 Hapless guppy expressions notwithstanding, Moore brings a degree of believability to the film's last-act Kleenex extravaganza.
TASTY TIDBIT EW's Lisa Schwarzbaum named A Walk to Remember the fifth worst film of 2002, behind only Snow Dogs, Collateral Damage, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, and the litter of the picks, XXX.
EW MOVIE GRADE D
Whitney Houston
The Bodyguard (1992)
http://img.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/050728/121053__whitney_l.jpg
THE ROLE Spoiled — and stalked — pop-diva-slash-actress Rachel Marron, who reluctantly falls for the security specialist (Kevin Costner) who's hired to protect her
DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY Hmm... tricky. Back when the film came out, we'd have said ''low,'' since it didn't seem like such a stretch for Houston to play the haughty diva with a taste for the finer things in life. But now, having endured Houston's antics on multiple episodes of Being Bobby Brown, we're going with ''medium'': It's kind of impressive that Marron chick never once discussed a bowel movement, or hollered ''Hell to the no!''
LEVEL OF SUCCESS 6 Okay, so her performance as an at-risk Oscar nominee isn't quite worthy of Academy recognition, but give credit where it's due: The fact that The Bodyguard even occasionally overcomes its lackluster script to offer moments of both romance and chills is a testament to Houston's natural acting abilities.
TASTY TIDBIT The soundtrack's ubiquitous hit, the Dolly Parton-penned ''I Will Always Love You,'' spent 14 weeks atop the Billboard singles chart.
EW MOVIE GRADE D
Spice Girls
Spice World (1997)
http://img.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/050728/121053__spicegirls_l.jpg
THE ROLES Posh, Ginger, Scary, Sporty, and Baby all play themselves in this mighty peculiar Hard Day's Night facsimile.
DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY Low. Sure, the film's fictitious — um, there's even interaction with aliens (!) — but the pop quintet is asked to do little more than transfer their respective recording personas to celluloid.
LEVEL OF SUCCESS 4 It's a cheap, disposable, and implausible piece of entertainment, but alternately, Spice World can be viewed as a so-bad-it's-good guilty pleasure. Plus, with appearances from AbFab's Jennifer Saunders, Alan Cumming, Bob Geldof, House's Hugh Laurie, Elton John, Dominic West, and Elvis Costello, there's a good drinking game in there somewhere.
TASTY TIDBIT Spice World screenwriter Kim Fuller is also responsible for another big-screen vehicle for pop singers: 2003's From Justin to Kelly.
EW MOVIE GRADE C
Beyonce Knowles
Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)
http://img.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/050728/121053__beyonce_l.jpg
THE ROLE Sexy sleuth Foxxy Cleopatra, the love interest and sidekick to Mike Myers' Austin in the third installment of the wacky spy series
DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY Medium. Though Foxxy Cleopatra may not be the most fleshed-out leading lady in cinematic history, keeping pace with Myers' off-the-rails brand of comedy is no easy feat.
LEVEL OF SUCCESS 8 Certainly as funny as her Powers predecessors, and twice as sexy. To paraphrase Knowles' character: She's a whole lotta woman!
TASTY TIDBIT Knowles may be a natural beauty, but according to Goldmember's costume designer Deena Appel, it took ''at least a couple hours a day'' in hair and makeup to achieve that Foxxy look.
EW Movie Grade B
Pop Divas’ Movie Debuts
To celebrate Jessica Simpson hitting the big screen in ''The Dukes of Hazzard,'' take a look back at other pop divas' first major movie roles
by Michael Slezak
Madonna
Desperately Seeking Susan (1985)
http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/1736/121053madonnal7aw.jpg
THE ROLE The titular free spirit, whose wild life and series of personal ads inspire chaos and excitement in the life of a suburban housewife (Rosanna Arquette)
DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY Low. Susan's brash, scheming persona fit Madonna like a lacy glove.
LEVEL OF SUCCESS 7 You can mock her later efforts in Shanghai Surprise or Dangerous Game, but admit it: You've lost count how many times you've gotten into Madge's groove watching Desperately in cable reruns.
TASTY TIDBIT Desperately's director, Susan Seidelman, went on to direct the pilot episode of another Manhattan-set, female-focused comedy, Sex and the City.
EW VIDEO GRADE B-
Mariah Carey
Glitter (2001)
http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/2013/121053mariahl9zp.jpg
THE ROLE Rising pop star Billie Frank
DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY Low. Aside from the film's (alleged) mid-'80s setting, Billie's mixed-race roots, difficult childhood, and climb from backup singer to chart-topper parallel Mariah's own story, right down to her troubled romance with a record producer.
LEVEL OF SUCCESS 0 Is there anything worse than getting out-acted by a common housecat? Carey's stupefyingly blank performance was so Titanically bad, it almost took her singing career down with the ship. Ah well — at least equally abysmal efforts by Glitter's screenwriter (Kate Lanier), director (Vondie Curtis-Hall), and leading man (Max Beesley) mean Mariah wasn't all to blame.
TASTY TIDBIT He may not cop to it after this year's well-received performances in Crash and Hustle & Flow, but Terrence Howard still owes a small karmic debt for appearing in, as EW's video review calls Glitter, its generation's ''very own cult crapsterpiece.''
EW MOVIE GRADE D
Britney Spears
Crossroads (2002)
http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/2346/121053britneyl9yo.jpg
THE ROLE Virginal high-school valedictorian Lucy Wagner, who sets off on a cross-country road trip with two estranged childhood pals (Taryn Manning, pictured at right, and Zöe Saldana) and one handsome stranger (Anson Mount, center)
DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY Medium. Britney's character is required not only to be a poet — we see her penning the words to ''I'm Not a Girl (Not Yet a Woman)'' — but also a convincing rocker, belting a karaoke rendition of ''I Love Rock 'N' Roll.'' No matter your feelings about Spears, you know that's something of a stretch.
LEVEL OF SUCCESS 5 Spears may not prove to be Meryl Streep, but she holds together this patchwork quilt of teen-dream clichés with an adequate screen presence.
TASTY TIDBIT Despite plenty of pre-opening publicity, Crossroads grossed only $37 million domestically.
EW MOVIE GRADE B+
Janet Jackson
Poetic Justice (1993)
http://img.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/050728/121053__janet_l.jpg
THE ROLE Los Angeles hairdresser-by-day, poet-at-heart Justice, who begins to rethink her stance on romance during a road trip with a handsome, complicated postal worker
DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY Medium. Mirroring Jackson's public persona at the time this movie was made, Justice is a soft-spoken yet thoughtful dreamer. But we're guessing Jackson had to reach beyond her own life experience to react to such unpleasantries as close-range shootings, disrespectful men, and working the old 9-to-5.
LEVEL OF SUCCESS 5 Jackson gets a passing grade when it comes to capturing the quiet struggle of a woman who seeks more out of life, but she fails her chemistry exam — despite the smoldering presence of costar Tupac Shakur (pictured, with Jackson).
TASTY TIDBIT At the request of director John Singleton, Jackson packed on an extra 10 pounds for her role, so audiences wouldn't confuse Justice with, say, a member of Rhythm Nation 1814.
EW MOVIE GRADE C-
Mandy Moore
A Walk to Remember (2002)
http://img.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/050728/121053__mandy_l.jpg
THE ROLE Virtuous high school outcast Jamie Sullivan, who forges an unlikely romance with bad boy Landon Carter (Shane West, pictured with Moore) in this film version of Nicholas Sparks' best seller.
DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY Medium. While it's not hard to buy perky-sweet Moore as a righteous kinda heroine, she's not the first actress you'd imagine as an awkward teen pariah.
LEVEL OF SUCCESS 4 Hapless guppy expressions notwithstanding, Moore brings a degree of believability to the film's last-act Kleenex extravaganza.
TASTY TIDBIT EW's Lisa Schwarzbaum named A Walk to Remember the fifth worst film of 2002, behind only Snow Dogs, Collateral Damage, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, and the litter of the picks, XXX.
EW MOVIE GRADE D
Whitney Houston
The Bodyguard (1992)
http://img.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/050728/121053__whitney_l.jpg
THE ROLE Spoiled — and stalked — pop-diva-slash-actress Rachel Marron, who reluctantly falls for the security specialist (Kevin Costner) who's hired to protect her
DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY Hmm... tricky. Back when the film came out, we'd have said ''low,'' since it didn't seem like such a stretch for Houston to play the haughty diva with a taste for the finer things in life. But now, having endured Houston's antics on multiple episodes of Being Bobby Brown, we're going with ''medium'': It's kind of impressive that Marron chick never once discussed a bowel movement, or hollered ''Hell to the no!''
LEVEL OF SUCCESS 6 Okay, so her performance as an at-risk Oscar nominee isn't quite worthy of Academy recognition, but give credit where it's due: The fact that The Bodyguard even occasionally overcomes its lackluster script to offer moments of both romance and chills is a testament to Houston's natural acting abilities.
TASTY TIDBIT The soundtrack's ubiquitous hit, the Dolly Parton-penned ''I Will Always Love You,'' spent 14 weeks atop the Billboard singles chart.
EW MOVIE GRADE D
Spice Girls
Spice World (1997)
http://img.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/050728/121053__spicegirls_l.jpg
THE ROLES Posh, Ginger, Scary, Sporty, and Baby all play themselves in this mighty peculiar Hard Day's Night facsimile.
DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY Low. Sure, the film's fictitious — um, there's even interaction with aliens (!) — but the pop quintet is asked to do little more than transfer their respective recording personas to celluloid.
LEVEL OF SUCCESS 4 It's a cheap, disposable, and implausible piece of entertainment, but alternately, Spice World can be viewed as a so-bad-it's-good guilty pleasure. Plus, with appearances from AbFab's Jennifer Saunders, Alan Cumming, Bob Geldof, House's Hugh Laurie, Elton John, Dominic West, and Elvis Costello, there's a good drinking game in there somewhere.
TASTY TIDBIT Spice World screenwriter Kim Fuller is also responsible for another big-screen vehicle for pop singers: 2003's From Justin to Kelly.
EW MOVIE GRADE C
Beyonce Knowles
Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)
http://img.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/050728/121053__beyonce_l.jpg
THE ROLE Sexy sleuth Foxxy Cleopatra, the love interest and sidekick to Mike Myers' Austin in the third installment of the wacky spy series
DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY Medium. Though Foxxy Cleopatra may not be the most fleshed-out leading lady in cinematic history, keeping pace with Myers' off-the-rails brand of comedy is no easy feat.
LEVEL OF SUCCESS 8 Certainly as funny as her Powers predecessors, and twice as sexy. To paraphrase Knowles' character: She's a whole lotta woman!
TASTY TIDBIT Knowles may be a natural beauty, but according to Goldmember's costume designer Deena Appel, it took ''at least a couple hours a day'' in hair and makeup to achieve that Foxxy look.
EW Movie Grade B