XDaysofmylifeX
Jan 11th, 2006, 04:36 AM
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Just passed away..he was heathie yesterday...and just a few hours ago..he was acting funny,wouldn't eat.Just had that look about him.Susan my sister was/is close to Nick..She feed him some milk..and he throwed up..then started walking better..she went to bed..20 or 25 mins later..she walks in the bedroom.Jumps on the bed with her..I just walked in there a few mins ago..she was laying across the bed holding him and crying..I told him I loved him..and she was talking to him..then he tooked his last breath..He died in her arms.I wanna cry..but can't.I feel numb..My eyes water up..and the end of my nose hurts..
I've been depressed awhile now..I didn't need this..not right now.I got enough to deal with.Brings back memories of when Tom(my cat) died last year.I'm still no where near over losing him.I told him I loved him..then I went to va to see aaron carter.I wish I could do it all over.I would have stayed home.While I was in front of aaron meeting him..My Tom was at home dieing..I had a funny/odd feeling rush over me..I bet that was it. He was my baby,my life..he would be in the house..and I would pull up in the yard..my sisters told me.."he knew it was you.." He either was sitting at the door waiting on me to come in or sitting in the window watching every move I did.
I miss that! For awhile there I still seen him doing those things..Death isn't right! He died on May 22nd 2005 I'll never be whole again..cause a piece of me went with him.He would always sleep with me.Tooked every step I made,When I cried he would help me through it..and damn now I'm crying..He loved Jerry Reid..He would pat his pixs and listen to his music.
I never got to say goodbye..
When I got home..my ex friend tooked me to the service station cause she didn't wanna get lost while bringing me home..so I called my mom to come and get me..I asked her how was Tom..she said he was fine..so that made me happy and I started crying..cause I knew he was still with me..well my parents came and got me..I got in the car..I kept asking them questions..and thier answers they would give me..or the looks between each other.Well we got to my house..not my I live with my sisters..
I ran in the door..Looking for Tom..my dog ernie came up to me..looked like he has been crying..my sister renne was sitting in a chair in the living room as soon as I came in.I asked her..where is tom? she said nothing..so I went into the bedroom..and asked susan..she is like a mom to me..were really close..she broked down crying and told me what happen..I turned around and walked back out the door.my dad asked me where i was going..i said outside..I tooked off walking down the street..when I heard my mom's car coming behide me..she told me to get in..so i did..i told her i just needed to get away..and I broked down crying..asking why did he take him..why didn't i stay home. those questions will never be answered.
I asked her why didnt' she jsut let me be..she said cause i love you and i knew what you were up to..i ain't going to let my baby hurt alone..oh god did i cry worser...
I hear my sister susan getting out of bed..still crying..I know she is getting ready to walk in here..oh god I can't take this...
Back to tom...after my mom drove around some with me..she tooked me back home..I came in the house..and went to the freezer got him out and cried..told him not to worry mommy is with him now..and that i was sorry for leaving him.I still remember how he looked at me that night before I left to go to va.
Susan told me..that while I was gone.Tom kept walking all over the house looking for me..sat in the window waiting on me..then sat by the door..she said he came to bed with her..and started purring..she told him i loved him..she stayed by his side..until he died.I left some time on the 21st night..he held out as long as he could..I was in front of aaron on the 22nd around or in between 1pm-3pm..I think..It still eats me up..knowning before he died he was looking for me..
For awhile I couldn't even say his name..
The dog catcher came and picked up my sisters dog..we got the money to go get him out the next day..while we were waiting..this lady and girl come in...susan saw them..and saw the girl carry the kittens toward the building i was in..she said she had a weird feeling..I came out..asked the girl what ya doing with them...she said giving them to them..to put up got adp..I hate this place so I asked her for them..it was a boy and girl..she gave them to me...and I've had them ever since.The girl..I named her kelly..and the boy I named him tom..he looks just like my baby tom..almost same color..and he has the same mark on his back..he tooked to the name too..Susan told me not to worry anymore..cause my tom found his way back home to me..
my head hurts...sorry for bothering you girls and guys!
carolyn
thanks for listening.
Today is going to suck..anymore than what it already did..RIP NICK
Just passed away..he was heathie yesterday...and just a few hours ago..he was acting funny,wouldn't eat.Just had that look about him.Susan my sister was/is close to Nick..She feed him some milk..and he throwed up..then started walking better..she went to bed..20 or 25 mins later..she walks in the bedroom.Jumps on the bed with her..I just walked in there a few mins ago..she was laying across the bed holding him and crying..I told him I loved him..and she was talking to him..then he tooked his last breath..He died in her arms.I wanna cry..but can't.I feel numb..My eyes water up..and the end of my nose hurts..
I've been depressed awhile now..I didn't need this..not right now.I got enough to deal with.Brings back memories of when Tom(my cat) died last year.I'm still no where near over losing him.I told him I loved him..then I went to va to see aaron carter.I wish I could do it all over.I would have stayed home.While I was in front of aaron meeting him..My Tom was at home dieing..I had a funny/odd feeling rush over me..I bet that was it. He was my baby,my life..he would be in the house..and I would pull up in the yard..my sisters told me.."he knew it was you.." He either was sitting at the door waiting on me to come in or sitting in the window watching every move I did.
I miss that! For awhile there I still seen him doing those things..Death isn't right! He died on May 22nd 2005 I'll never be whole again..cause a piece of me went with him.He would always sleep with me.Tooked every step I made,When I cried he would help me through it..and damn now I'm crying..He loved Jerry Reid..He would pat his pixs and listen to his music.
I never got to say goodbye..
When I got home..my ex friend tooked me to the service station cause she didn't wanna get lost while bringing me home..so I called my mom to come and get me..I asked her how was Tom..she said he was fine..so that made me happy and I started crying..cause I knew he was still with me..well my parents came and got me..I got in the car..I kept asking them questions..and thier answers they would give me..or the looks between each other.Well we got to my house..not my I live with my sisters..
I ran in the door..Looking for Tom..my dog ernie came up to me..looked like he has been crying..my sister renne was sitting in a chair in the living room as soon as I came in.I asked her..where is tom? she said nothing..so I went into the bedroom..and asked susan..she is like a mom to me..were really close..she broked down crying and told me what happen..I turned around and walked back out the door.my dad asked me where i was going..i said outside..I tooked off walking down the street..when I heard my mom's car coming behide me..she told me to get in..so i did..i told her i just needed to get away..and I broked down crying..asking why did he take him..why didn't i stay home. those questions will never be answered.
I asked her why didnt' she jsut let me be..she said cause i love you and i knew what you were up to..i ain't going to let my baby hurt alone..oh god did i cry worser...
I hear my sister susan getting out of bed..still crying..I know she is getting ready to walk in here..oh god I can't take this...
Back to tom...after my mom drove around some with me..she tooked me back home..I came in the house..and went to the freezer got him out and cried..told him not to worry mommy is with him now..and that i was sorry for leaving him.I still remember how he looked at me that night before I left to go to va.
Susan told me..that while I was gone.Tom kept walking all over the house looking for me..sat in the window waiting on me..then sat by the door..she said he came to bed with her..and started purring..she told him i loved him..she stayed by his side..until he died.I left some time on the 21st night..he held out as long as he could..I was in front of aaron on the 22nd around or in between 1pm-3pm..I think..It still eats me up..knowning before he died he was looking for me..
For awhile I couldn't even say his name..
The dog catcher came and picked up my sisters dog..we got the money to go get him out the next day..while we were waiting..this lady and girl come in...susan saw them..and saw the girl carry the kittens toward the building i was in..she said she had a weird feeling..I came out..asked the girl what ya doing with them...she said giving them to them..to put up got adp..I hate this place so I asked her for them..it was a boy and girl..she gave them to me...and I've had them ever since.The girl..I named her kelly..and the boy I named him tom..he looks just like my baby tom..almost same color..and he has the same mark on his back..he tooked to the name too..Susan told me not to worry anymore..cause my tom found his way back home to me..
my head hurts...sorry for bothering you girls and guys!
carolyn
thanks for listening.
Today is going to suck..anymore than what it already did..RIP NICK