At what age do you want to have/did you have kids? [Archive]

Whoda Thunk?

Mar 17th, 2008, 02:59 PM

I was 21 when my son arrived. He's adopted, so I missed the miracle of childbirth. I have a low pain threshold, so I can live with that!

I loved being a young mom. He's 24 now and we have a great relationship. Not a friendship, I'm still the mom, but we can talk about almost everything. There are some days I'd like to box his ears, but for the most part, it's pretty damn good.

Miss_Sunshine

Mar 17th, 2008, 08:12 PM

Next year soooo 27 or 28 depending on the month.

db44

Mar 17th, 2008, 09:10 PM

Sounds like somebody is preggers... Congrats! (?)

I'm ready now. Or if I find the right person, I'll be ready age-wise to become a father ASAP. Granted, I'm not part of your estrogen club here... :p

tiger_rascal

Mar 17th, 2008, 09:27 PM

Kids are great if you can handle them.

Honestly, I dont know how some people manage more than 1!!!

When my nephews cousin spends the weekend with us they both drive me crazy! :crazy: But kids will be kids, so I just let them have fun. :D

DoubleEdgeSword

Mar 17th, 2008, 09:50 PM

Next year soooo 27 or 28 depending on the month.

Ooooooo! So is this in the works, or wishful thinking?

Miss_Sunshine

Mar 17th, 2008, 10:49 PM

Ooooooo! So is this in the works, or wishful thinking?
Just a plan we have! I didn't mean to make it sounds like I'm already knocked up. :laugh:

We're getting ourselves and our lives in as much in order before January 2009. Then we're going to start trying. I've always wanted to have my first baby before I turn 28, so as long as it comes before October, I'm all set. :D

profoundfool

Mar 18th, 2008, 12:18 AM

I'm sure you'll have a difficult time convincing Phil that you need to have as much sex as possible :o:p

I think one of the reasons why I want to wait is because my life isn't in order just yet. There are a few things I want to take care of before I start thinking about having children.

Equinox

Mar 23rd, 2008, 08:26 PM

Hopefully, never.

pinky

Mar 23rd, 2008, 08:40 PM

I was 33 when my son was born, and 35 with my daughter.

It's very cool having them around now as young adults. They're quite good kids, very different from each other, and both make me proud (and frustrated at times) in different ways.

db44

Mar 23rd, 2008, 09:22 PM

Considering the other thread we're talking about,I thought maybe we'd name this "At what age do you want/did you have grandkids"? ;)

pinky

Mar 23rd, 2008, 09:33 PM

Since both of mine are in college now (yes, Dave, that little girl you met that time is in college), I hope to be downright grandmotherly when the time comes!

db44

Mar 23rd, 2008, 09:37 PM

In college? They grow up so fast. *sniff*

pinky

Mar 23rd, 2008, 09:52 PM

Third year, actually. :o

bjorkfan19

Mar 23rd, 2008, 11:13 PM

I was a few days from turning 19 when mine was born. And so far, being a young parent has had its advantages and disadvantages. My life is very different from before. But man, I love that kid, and I want him to have the greatest life I can give him.

Not to mention that when I'm in Depends and calling all the grandkids the wrong names, he'll be close enough to being there himself that he can't make fun of me. ;)

summerlight00

Mar 24th, 2008, 07:15 PM

I have never thought about this problem.

db44

Mar 24th, 2008, 07:18 PM

Having kids is a problem?

pinky

Mar 24th, 2008, 07:38 PM

Well, not for the man.

profoundfool

Mar 25th, 2008, 02:05 AM

I was a few days from turning 19 when mine was born. And so far, being a young parent has had its advantages and disadvantages.

Could you elaborate on what the advantages and disadvantages are?

This is a little bit OT, but how is the house coming along?

bjorkfan19

Mar 25th, 2008, 03:31 PM

We got to move in last summer. Love the house, love having our own place--I'm very glad we saved up to buy instead of rent.

Advantages and disadvantages--well, being younger, I'm guessing you usually have more energy and endurance, but that depends on fitness. And kids--my kid at least--are very very very active and demanding. Keeping up with him at 21 is hard, I couldn't imagine being 40 and having back problems or any other physical problems. I also like the fact that I'll still be pretty young when he becomes an adult (well, legally ;)).

I do miss some things--having a kid has meant giving up half of my brain to him and his affairs. My memory's gotten very bad, I feel preoccupied a lot of the time and it gets harder to focus sometimes (moreso than before baby). But this could be different for everyone. You also can't go anywhere anytime like you can when you don't have 35 lbs of temperamental little toddler to think about. Travel, restaurants, even simple things like shopping--everything becomes an expedition. These are of course inevitable parts of having kids, no matter your age, but I would recommend doing as many of your traveling and couple-y romantic things as possible before kids. And be prepared for the changes.

profoundfool

Mar 26th, 2008, 01:42 AM

Thanks, that's some pretty good advice! Seeing as I'll be at LEAST 30 and most likely a few years older than that, I really need to start hitting the gym to get in shape and stay so as well. :laugh:

I agree that it is nicer to buy if you can afford it. It feels more worth the while if you decide to redecorate then, since it's an investment as well as a nice change. We own the apartment we live in now, but unfortunately it's not that great of an area so I refuse to spend too much money on renovations (we'd never get it back if we were to sell).

One of my best friends just purchased a 2 bedroom apartment in our capital after living in a TINY studio apartment for 6+ years with her boyfriend. It was expensive as **** but completely worth it if you ask her.

moppy

Mar 27th, 2008, 11:39 PM

I had my son at 19...I never planned on kids at all (i think it was all the babysitting I did for years turned me off having my own) he's now 5 and in school....the only disadvantage is I'm a single mum so I don't get any time to myself to do what I want (IE when he's at school I'm cleaning or going an paying bills etc) but I wouldn't trade him for anything

DoubleEdgeSword

Mar 28th, 2008, 06:07 AM

I sympathize, moppy. I raised my child alone from the time she was two. It's tough trying to work and raise a kid. I also went back to school parttime at nights when she was older. Then, my mom got Alzheimers and I was having to care for her as well. It was a rough period in my life. Good luck. :)

BettiePaige

Apr 10th, 2008, 03:21 PM

I have a 4 year old sister named Destiny and sometimes I feel like a mommy. I love her so much, my love for her is unconditional. I'm tearing up right now as I'm typing-even thinking about her. I'm her God-Mother and if anything happens to my mom(as she stated in her will) I have complete full custody of her. I'm 23 and I'm still deciding if I want kids or not. I'm not sure if I can love another child as much as I love Destiny.

pinky

Apr 10th, 2008, 05:40 PM

Every mother thinks that she won't be able to love any other child as much as her first.

Until she has her second. Then she knows she can. :nod:

XxGeNiEiNabOtTlExX

May 15th, 2008, 11:06 PM

this is an old thread buuut whatever. haha

i'm actually not sure if i want to have kids or if i even want to get married. i want to stay young forever....

db44

May 15th, 2008, 11:27 PM

That's why I want to have kids, to be one with them! ;)

FAJTAFan123

May 24th, 2008, 06:18 PM

I'm 24 and would love to have one before I turn 30. But first I need to find the right person. And I have a huge fear of commitment. Mostly because I just see/hear so many marriages fail.

I was raised with my mom and her parents and I don't want that for my children. I want them to have a good father figure in their lives everyday. I would also love to be a stay at home mom but that is probably just wishful thinking.

I have already started doing research on the best ways to feed and raise them so I am prepared.

There was a time in my life that I had no desire for children and this past year that has completely changed.

profoundfool

Jun 6th, 2008, 10:23 PM

I'm 24 and would love to have one before I turn 30. But first I need to find the right person. And I have a huge fear of commitment. Mostly because I just see/hear so many marriages fail.

That is true but like a saying in my language goes, you have to enter the competition if you're ever going to win. Granted, it sucks having your heart broken and it's one of the worst feelings ever, but loving someone is also one of the best feelings in the world. Good luck finding mr. right!

CrazyBeautiful28

Jun 7th, 2008, 07:11 PM

Never. Ever. EVER.

I'm 22 and I want my tubes tied. Everyone says, "ohhh you'll regret it when you're older and want to start a family." No way man, I have never thought children to be cute or amusing. I have neither the patience nor the desire for motherhood.

Some people say it's selfish not to want children, I think it's the exact opposite. I would never want to bring a child into this world. If I know I won't have the time for it, or possibly even the financial means, I wouldn't want to take on a responsibility that I wouldn't be able to give more than 100% to- and with a child, you have to give 110%.

I like my home to be clean, I like to travel, I like to have my down time, I just like my stress free way of life...

So when I am older and have no family, I suppose my husband will just travel in our motor home, or I will join the Grey Hound Srs club, or take up bridge....either way, I will have NO PROBLEM finding ways to occupy myself when I'm older, and I won't be alone...

Miss_Sunshine

Jun 9th, 2008, 03:40 AM

I'm going to change my answer. I don't even know IF I want kids anymore. Too much bull**** to deal with. It's fun being an Auntie. I can live vicariously through other people's kids.

DoubleEdgeSword

Jun 9th, 2008, 06:06 AM

My friend and neighbor has been saying she doesn't want kids for as long as I've known her. And other women have been telling her she'll change her mind. That's been 14 years. She and her hubby have one Bichon, four cats, they travel when they want and have a very nice life, thankyouverymuch.

P.S. I have no problem sitting for her "babies" when they're out of town. :) She waters my Bonzai when I go.

profoundfool

Jun 9th, 2008, 10:18 AM

DES, I read that as your Banzai initially. :roll:

db44

Jun 9th, 2008, 10:25 AM

Laurie has Bichons, as do I... I se a trend.

profoundfool

Jun 9th, 2008, 10:45 AM

And I see another spelling error. :o

db44

Jun 9th, 2008, 10:56 AM

The way I look at it, I have a friend (a former professor of mine) who is a published author and who doesn't worry too much about her typos online. If she doesn't care, why should I?

profoundfool

Jun 9th, 2008, 11:29 AM

I hate to quote my mother, but if your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?

:p

I'm just being difficult.

db44

Jun 9th, 2008, 12:29 PM

'Cause you do it so well. :p

Miss_Sunshine

Jun 9th, 2008, 01:39 PM

After I got my second Bichon (mix) it filled that child void.

I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. :nc:

db44

Jun 9th, 2008, 02:00 PM

It depends on if you give them their own rooms and start saving for their college funds.

Miss_Sunshine

Jun 10th, 2008, 01:39 PM

Who says I haven't? :eek:

profoundfool

Jun 11th, 2008, 12:47 AM

Hey, they've had flushing toilets for canines in Paris for over 10 years now. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before pups can acquire a college degree too.

Kha

Jun 11th, 2008, 03:00 AM

I would love to have children. Given that I am gay, having children is not an easy thing to pull off, and I honestly don't think I need to have a biological son/daughter. I would definitely consider adoption if only the adoption laws made it okay for single people to adopt.

But currently, I'm in a situation where I don't know if I even want to be in a relationship, so children right now is a tough thing to think about.

profoundfool

Jun 12th, 2008, 03:28 PM

Kha

Jun 13th, 2008, 12:59 AM

I'm 23 Jo. I need to start thinking about my life outside just being a university student you know? That's one of the priorities I need to think about.

profoundfool

Jun 13th, 2008, 02:09 AM

I'm not saying kill your options while you're at it, just don't rush into anything. What's the point of being in a relationship if you're only with them because you might feel like you get something out of it in 5 years?

Once you hit 30 and don't have clue what you want to do, that's when I'd start to worry.

Kha

Jun 14th, 2008, 03:44 AM

profoundfool

Jun 14th, 2008, 03:33 PM

All I know is that 5 years ago, I thought my life would be COMPLETELY different to what it actually is at my current age. Once I stopped worrying and pressuring myself to meet deadlines that I wasn't ready to meet, I became a lot more content and happier with who I am.

When you focus entirely on everything you haven't achieved yet, instead of focusing on the things that you have, anyone is bound to be miserable.

Kha

Jun 19th, 2008, 03:04 AM

You are right. It is such a weird thing that you said that though. That's the exact feeling I've been having the past few days. It really makes a difference in your psyche. I feel much more relaxed these days.

I still don't know what I want though :p Or actually, I think I want something from both worlds, but that would make things very hard to find, if not impossible.