"We live and we learn to take one step at a time"

[HollyBird]

Hey peeps..

I thought this was pretty fitting, I felt like we needed a new thread, to be there for each other and be that shoulder for each other to lean on..

[BeMiCon88]

well i'm here lol. At one point i was the only one to post in all the threads for a few hours it was kinda sad, i hung out in the BSB board instead :).

[HollyBird]

yeah I had to make a new thread..

[Dnicki07]

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone.

And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

[HollyBird]

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone.

And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."


awww dawn, that is so beautiful..

[AaronsShorty]

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone.

And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Oh My God! My friend read that to me once and I loved it! and i just had a crazy emotional night with him (nothing bad, we are perfecty fine, its regarding his job) and have been sitting here wondering why certain things happen in life, so the fact that you just posted that right now is amazing. it totally made my night :)

[Dnicki07]

Oh My God! My friend read that to me once and I loved it! and i just had a crazy emotional night with him (nothing bad, we are perfecty fine, its regarding his job) and have been sitting here wondering why certain things happen in life, so the fact that you just posted that right now is amazing. it totally made my night :)

Awwww! <3

[BeMiCon88]

*group hug* lol. I guess it's good that we bonded a few weeks ago or else we'll all be lost and speechless, more so than now haha.

[AaronsShorty]

Awwww! <3

its crazy how stuff like that happens.
but I know that everything is going to work out and be okay I just have to stay positive :)

[AaronsShorty]

*group hug* lol. I guess it's good that we bonded a few weeks ago or else we'll all be lost and speechless, more so than now haha.

*group hug back* haha *sings We Are Family* lol
and yeah i know right? so true!

[Dnicki07]

When things go wrong as they sometimes will, When the road you're trudging seems all up hill, When the funds are low and the debts are high, And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns, As every one of us sometimes learns, And many a failure turns about, When he might have won had he stuck it out.

Don't give up though the pace seems slow--You may succeed with another blow, Success is failure turned inside out--The silver tint of the clouds of doubt, And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far; So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

[BeMiCon88]

very inspirational Dawn!

[AaronsShorty]

When things go wrong as they sometimes will, When the road you're trudging seems all up hill, When the funds are low and the debts are high, And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns, As every one of us sometimes learns, And many a failure turns about, When he might have won had he stuck it out.

Don't give up though the pace seems slow--You may succeed with another blow, Success is failure turned inside out--The silver tint of the clouds of doubt, And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far; So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.


i love all that too! Thanks so much Dawn!

[Dnicki07]

very inspirational Dawn!

We all just have to stick it out. Things will get better eventually.

"There's nowhere to go but up from here." - That was the one thing my friend Brad [RIP] always said. =/

[BeMiCon88]

We all just have to stick it out. Things will get better eventually.

"There's nowhere to go but up from here." - That was the one thing my friend Brad [RIP] always said. =/
very true...

[HollyBird]

awwwww

group hug ya'll..

[BeMiCon88]

I think we all moved to twitter lol.

[Dnicki07]

very true...

:nod:
http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w154/DNicki07/picnik/l_332cc7cdf1069222737ae755d8eceec4.jpg

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Awww! I love this thread. :) I didn't see this earlier. You made it while I was snoring away with dreams of Baby Backstreet. :p

[BSBSavedMyLife]

I walked across the wheat field in mid-June.

The summer air was beginning to bloom.

The wind whispered your name was I closed my soft blue eyes.

I slowly opened my eyes, and spotted a flower.
“How loves me…he loves me not,”

I said as each petal floated with the mist of the summer.

Every morning I would awake with the fun shining in my face.

“Good morning, my sunbeam,” I whispered with a smile.

Soon July weather began to creep across the earth.

The fresh smell of flowers from my flower garden reach my nose.

I cut the stem of a flower and slightly slit my finger.

The single, yellow flower sat in a vase on my kitchen table.

I sat and started at it and thought of you.

August soon came and flower was almost dead.

The leaves were withered and the petals were turning brown.

I dared not to throw it away because the memory was still there.

I smelt the flower, the scent was still alive.

The leaves on the trees had begun to fall.

September had come and summer was gone.

The flower was dead and it was time to let it go.

I kissed the petals one last time and said, “Until next time, my love.”

The summer had vanished but the memories were still in my soul.

I look out of my window and wonder…the wheat field is now cold.

“See you next summer…I’ll always remember you…my summer flower.”

--Rachel Crawford 2001

[BSBSavedMyLife]

A rose...

A gentle, red flower.

Such beauty; such charm.

Though it is ile by sight...there are the thorns.

The thorns are sharp...

They will prick my finger at the slightest touch.

Drip, drop...

My blood flows from my dented wound.

Tears are beginning to swell...but the pain is not there.

The blood sit upon the edge of the sharp thorn.

My tears fall upon the soil, from which the bush is growing.

I look down and notice a new bud has grown.

Looking at the deep, red petals...I feel something strange.

A feeling of love...maybe some hatred too.

My teardrops had fallen onto the petals, they glisten like diamonds.

Much to my surprise...the rose is thornless.

I touch the petals, each feels more silky than the last.

The sweet scent kisses my nose.

The rose is flawless.

Beauty had never been more perfect.

I look at the other rose and touch the petals again.

My eyes drift back to the thorns...and I realize...there is nothing more beautiful than the thorns of a rose.


--Rachel Crawford 1999

[HollyBird]

awww rachel that is gorgeous..

wow..

[HollyBird]

you're gonna make me cry...

*goes to get some tissues*

[BSBSavedMyLife]

you're gonna make me cry...

*goes to get some tissues*

LMAO! Awww! *hugs* Lemme find something else.

[HollyBird]

rach, that was so beautiful, I could so see that being published..

WOW..

[HollyBird]

LMAO! Awww! *hugs* Lemme find something else.

huggss:)

[BSBSavedMyLife]

For you, Aaron. *kisses and hugs*





Wild days, crazy ways.

What's it's all about?

You have a dream and it slips away

Without a doubt.

Wild days, crazy ways.

What's it all about?

The fear is streaming out your eyes,

With a rebel shout.

Looking out into the sky,

You see that time passes you by.

Leaving you lost and confused.

Looking at the world,

You see all these tragedies.

Thinking in your mind,

"How can this be?"

Sitting on your knees and praying.

Wondering if he hears what you are saying.

You see the man crying,

On the cross which he is dying.

Thorns on his head, nails to his hands.

All this, so he could rise again.

He was the Holy Son,

Who made a triumph.

Which was made to be one.


--Rachel Crawford 2009

[BeMiCon88]

awww...

[Dnicki07]

Love all of those Rach!

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Another one that remained unfinished until last week. Here's to you, A.C.





If words were only words...and life was only a game...and time was only a connection...then I would feel free.

If tears were only tears...and screams were only noise...and pain was only a feeling that made you human...then I would be immortal.

If breathing was only breathing...and love was only a fable...and blood was only an escape...then I would be dead.

If God was only a God...and heaven was only a place...and angels were only a messenger...then I shall await.

[bunnycat1981]

Wow Rachel!

Ps. I'm just catching up then I'll get back to your PM, I read it earlier today :) I've been up since 6am and only just got home.

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Wow Rachel!

Ps. I'm just catching up then I'll get back to your PM, I read it earlier today :) I've been up since 6am and only just got home.

:roll: Yeah, I tend to ramble when a lot goes through my mind. No worries. :)

[BSBSavedMyLife]

This is one I wrote a few months ago. Thinking back at my life and how I was treated by my family and still am. Enjoy! :)





There was a wicked woman who was the kingdom's queen.

Her eyes glared with evil to her daughter, just turned eighteen.

"Do as I say; not as I do," the queen would say.

The princess wanted freedom...she dreamed of the day.

"You will grow up to be a queen like me."

The princess sighed...a queen, she did not want to be.

At night, she'd sway to the music of that fateful song.

Softly and smoothly, the music flow of the place where she would belong.

She did not share this secret of the heart.

If the queen only knew...she'd surely tear it apart.

The clock struck on the hour...time had slipped away.

The princess locked away her dream...for another time...another day.

[BSBSavedMyLife]

That's all I've got for now. I know I have more stuff somewhere. Some of my stuff is too abrasive for LD. I tend to write poetry when I'm upset.

[BeMiCon88]

these are really good Rach!

[HollyBird]

wow rach..

stunning. gorgeous

[BSBSavedMyLife]

these are really good Rach!

wow rach..

stunning. gorgeous


Thanks, guys! Wanna see some song lyrics? :)

[HollyBird]

of course!!

*hands you a brownie*

[bunnycat1981]

This is one I wrote a few months ago. Thinking back at my life and how I was treated by my family and still am. Enjoy! :)





There was a wicked woman who was the kingdom's queen.

Her eyes glared with evil to her daughter, just turned eighteen.

"Do as I say; not as I do," the queen would say.

The princess wanted freedom...she dreamed of the day.

"You will grow up to be a queen like me."

The princess sighed...a queen, she did not want to be.

At night, she'd sway to the music of that fateful song.

Softly and smoothly, the music flow of the place where she would belong.

She did not share this secret of the heart.

If the queen only knew...she'd surely tear it apart.

The clock struck on the hour...time had slipped away.

The princess locked away her dream...for another time...another day.

OMG I love this! Oh I'll tell you now, I bought a notebook and a pen today especially for you, I know that sounds stupid, but I didn't want to forget anything that I was thinking. LOL, I may have filled 9 pages already, so don't think I'm gonna run out of inspiration on you :)

Anyway, I had this idea today... pretty sure it will be good judging by all this :) :) :) Not sure if I'll use it today or not cause I want to be relevant to your message and I don't want it to be too long.

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Okay, don't laugh. I wrote this when I sixteen. At the time, I wanted to be a popstar like Britney, Christina, and Mandy Moore. So, please don't laugh, it's way bubblegum popish. :laugh: It's not finished, still can't decide if I should continue:



Wipe away those tears, baby.
Let me see you smile.
There's no point in dwelling with me by your side.
I'll will love you, forever and always.
Never ever will I leave, I'm here to stay.

Chorus:

Hey, baby I am your secret admirer.
Watching you from far away.
Wanting you more everyday.
Hey, baby, I wish you knew I was here.
Knowing the love you need is very near.
I am your secret admirer, baby, just let in.


When I first saw you, I couldn't believe my eyes.
Your were so suave, so sexy, and so sublime.
I wanted to talk to you, but I was too shy.
Cuz, baby, your bring a new meaning to the word love
And that's no lie.


(Repeat chorus)


:roll: corny, right?

[PinkJewel]

This is a great thread Holly. :) It's nice to see a thread like this on LD.

[BSBSavedMyLife]

OMG I love this! Oh I'll tell you now, I bought a notebook and a pen today especially for you, I know that sounds stupid, but I didn't want to forget anything that I was thinking. LOL, I may have filled 9 pages already, so don't think I'm gonna run out of inspiration on you :)

Anyway, I had this idea today... pretty sure it will be good judging by all this :) :) :) Not sure if I'll use it today or not cause I want to be relevant to your message and I don't want it to be too long.

:roll: Wow! Didn't know I could be such a project. :p I'm all ears, darlin. Whatcha got? In a PM, of course. :)

[HollyBird]

Omgggg i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[HollyBird]

This is a great thread Holly. :) It's nice to see a thread like this on LD.

:wink:Thank you. I saw earlier someone was talking about AC and saying along the lines of, "one step at a time" and then it got me thinking of jordan spark's song, and figured that would make a great thread...

[BeMiCon88]

we'll i'm heading out now the lack of sleep is catching up on me lol. Goodnight and talk to you all later! Hopefully the next 24hrs is better than the last for everyone :wink:

[Dnicki07]

Where are the people that accused me?
The ones who beat me down and bruised me
They hide just out of sight, can't face me in the light
They'll return but I'll be stronger..

God I want to dream again, take me where I've never been
I wanna go there, this time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me, nothing can stop me..

Sometimes it's hard to just keep going
But faith is moving without knowing
Can I trust what I can't see to reach my destiny?
I want to take control but I know better..

God I want to dream again, take me where I?ve never been
I wanna go there, this time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me, nothing can stop me..

Forget the fear it's just a crutch
That tries to hold you back
And turn your dreams to dust
All you need to do is just trust..

God I want to dream again, take me where I've never been
I wanna go there, this time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me, nothing can stop me..

[HollyBird]

thank you. I can only hope for that as well

[HollyBird]

Where are the people that accused me?
The ones who beat me down and bruised me
They hide just out of sight, can't face me in the light
They'll return but I'll be stronger..

God I want to dream again, take me where I've never been
I wanna go there, this time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me, nothing can stop me..

Sometimes it's hard to just keep going
But faith is moving without knowing
Can I trust what I can't see to reach my destiny?
I want to take control but I know better..

God I want to dream again, take me where I?ve never been
I wanna go there, this time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me, nothing can stop me..

Forget the fear it's just a crutch
That tries to hold you back
And turn your dreams to dust
All you need to do is just trust..

God I want to dream again, take me where I've never been
I wanna go there, this time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me, nothing can stop me..


WOW.. that was so beautiful

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Where are the people that accused me?
The ones who beat me down and bruised me
They hide just out of sight, can't face me in the light
They'll return but I'll be stronger..

God I want to dream again, take me where I've never been
I wanna go there, this time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me, nothing can stop me..

Sometimes it's hard to just keep going
But faith is moving without knowing
Can I trust what I can't see to reach my destiny?
I want to take control but I know better..

God I want to dream again, take me where I?ve never been
I wanna go there, this time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me, nothing can stop me..

Forget the fear it's just a crutch
That tries to hold you back
And turn your dreams to dust
All you need to do is just trust..

God I want to dream again, take me where I've never been
I wanna go there, this time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me, nothing can stop me..



Is this an original piece? I love it.

[HollyBird]

ya'll are wickedly talented..

[PinkJewel]

:wink:Thank you. I saw earlier someone was talking about AC and saying along the lines of, "one step at a time" and then it got me thinking of jordan spark's song, and figured that would make a great thread...

You're welcome! Wow, I can relate to everything in here. I need to start writing again. I stopped at the end of last year and really need to get back into it again.

[bunnycat1981]

:roll: Wow! Didn't know I could be such a project. :p I'm all ears, darlin. Whatcha got? In a PM, of course. :)

Working on it now, may take some time :)

[Dnicki07]

:wink:Thank you. I saw earlier someone was talking about AC and saying along the lines of, "one step at a time" and then it got me thinking of jordan spark's song, and figured that would make a great thread...

Lol, That was me probably, when I posted that picture..

http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w154/DNicki07/picnik/img_0867.jpg

This one maybe?

[Dnicki07]

WOW.. that was so beautiful

Is this an original piece? I love it.

This one isn't, but I thought it was sort of fitting. It's a song by a band called Fireflight.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCUfHQSsC2c

I Loooove it. =]

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Working on it now, may take some time :)

No problem. I'm patient. :)

[HollyBird]

being an AC fan, you learn to be..

[HollyBird]

Lol, That was me probably, when I posted that picture..

http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w154/DNicki07/picnik/img_0867.jpg

This one maybe?

no, not that actually, but I LOVE that... you actually we're saying something like a step at a time.. and all the sudden the song popped in my head..

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Okay, I scrounged up something I feel like sharing. It's a sniplet of a BSB fan fic that my readers adore. It's called Shape Of My Heart. Part three of the BSB Romance Series. Anyway, the chapter is still in editing form, but good enough to share. My readers love this chapter so much. I think it's probably some of my powerful work. That's coming up! :)

[bunnycat1981]

being an AC fan, you learn to be..

LOL

:roll:

true true!!!

[PinkJewel]

This one isn't, but I thought it was sort of fitting. It's a song by a band called Fireflight.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCUfHQSsC2c

I Loooove it. =]

That's a great song! I'd never heard it before.

[HollyBird]

I just wanna dance around my living room..

[HollyBird]

LOL

:roll:

true true!!!

:eek:you know it... couldn't be more true..

[BSBSavedMyLife]

This takes place in 2000, just so you know. I had to edit some of the language. Nick's mouth is a little more colorful than this, but you get the idea. :laugh:


http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q81/passionwriter81/confusion.jpg

Rachel parked her car in Nick's driveway and walked up to the door. She was thankful to see that he left the door unlocked for her. The house was quiet as she looked around for him. She didn't see him anywhere downstairs so she made her way upstairs. His bedroom door was halfway open. Rachel could hear him shuffling around in his room. She lightly knocked on the door, but he didn't answer.

"Nick?" she said as she slowly opened the door a little wider. "Can I come in?"

Rachel peeked her head in the door and saw him go into his bathroom and shut the door behind him. She stepped into the room and looked around. Rachel couldn't help but laugh as she saw that his dresser drawers were wide open and several pairs of pajama pants had been scattered everywhere. She bent down and picked the pants up off the floor and neatly folded them. Rachel put them back in the drawer for him and sat on the bed. She heard a loud crash in the bathroom. Rachel quickly stood up and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Nick?" she said as she pressed her ear against the door. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, hold on," he mumbled.

Rachel pressed her ear closer to the door and put her hand on the doorknob. She turned it slightly; it was unlocked. She could hear Nick coughing so she opened the door to a small crack.

"You need any help?" she asked while leaning against the door.

"Don't look," Nick said as he began to vomit.

Rachel held back her laughter. "I'll get you some water," she said as she shut the door and went downstairs.

Rachel filled a glass full of water and went back upstairs. When she got back to his room, he was still in the bathroom, but he was now sitting on the floor in front of the toilet. Rachel slowly walked up to him and handed him the glass of water. She knelt down in front of him.

"You okay?" she asked in a gentle voice.

Nick sipped the water and shook his head. "This wasn't a good idea," he mumbled.

"It never is," Rachel said softly.

"Ugh," Nick groaned as he put his head on the side of the toilet. "Why do I do this to myself?"

Rachel looked at him tenderly and stood up. "Come on, get up," she said as she offered him his hand.

"No, I can't get up," he whined.

"Yes, you can. Come on, stand up."

Nick took her hand and slowly stood up. Rachel held onto his arm and led him out of the bedroom.

"Where are we going?" he asked while stumbling.

"Downstairs by the pool. The fresh air will do you some good," she said as she stood in front of him. "I'm gonna walk backwards. Take one stair at a time and don't topple over me," she said with a smirk.

"Very funny," he said as he began walking down the stairs.

Rachel helped him down the stairs and they walked across the kitchen to his patio. Nick plopped down on a lawn chair and sighed. Rachel took a seat next to him.

"God, I'm going to regret this in the morning," he said.

Rachel chuckled and shook her head. "What were you thinking in the first place?"

Nick shrugged. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Why?" Rachel asked as she crossed her legs.

"Why does anyone drink?"

"Do you really want to get into this subject with me?" Rachel said in a low tone.

Nick glanced at her. "You seem pissed at me."

Rachel shook her head. "No, not pissed. A little disappointed maybe."

"Why?"

"Because I know there are other ways to handle a problem besides drinking."

"I wasn't handling anything," Nick said as he sat up. "I was just trying to make it go away."

"Make what go away?"

"The pain," he said in a hoarse whisper.

Rachel looked at him with a serious expression. "Don't you know that drinking never makes anything go away? It only amplifies it."

Nick grit his teeth and looked away. "I know," he said.

"So why do it?"

"Because it seemed to work for a little while, but then…"

"Then what?"

"Then I remembered why I wanted to drink in the first place."

"Which was?" Rachel asked as she scooted her chair closer to him.

Nick shook his head and stood up. He stumbled slightly and Rachel quickly grabbed onto his arm. She stood up and looked into his eyes. They were glistening with tears.

"Talk to me," she said softly. "Maybe I can help."

Nick sucked in a breath and sniffled. "No one can help me," he said.

"What do you mean?"

Nick wiped the tears off his face and let out an exaggerated laugh. "I'm frickin' Nick Carter. Don't you understand that? I'm not a real person to anyone. I'm just another ing pretty face on the TV screen. They tell me to jump and I ask how high. I'm their money goat."

"Who are you talking about?"

"Them!" Nick said as he threw his hands up in the air. "The media, JIVE, radio people, MTV, and even my fans. I'm just a toy they play with."

"Nick, you're being a little irrational," Rachel said.

"No, I'm not. Do you know what they say about me? Do you?" he said in a louder tone.

Rachel looked at him with a straight face. "I've heard a lot of things, Nick."

Nick chuckled. "Exactly," he said as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "You know I went online the other day and found this fan site dedicated to me. At first it made me smile and then I saw the disclaimer at the bottom."

Nick paused for a moment then looked at Rachel. He bit his lip and shifted back and forth. He looked up at the sky and lightly bounced on the balls of his feet.

"What did it say?" she asked.

"She said that she used to be a fan of mine until I got too fat. Now I just look like a big, fat slob to her."

"Nick, that's just one fan. I mean--"

"And then I heard some people on the radio making jokes about my appearance," he continued. "How they think I'm on the verge of a breakdown because I've put on a few pounds."

"Nick--"

"And frickin' JIVE wants me to lose weight. That's all these people care about. They just want to get rich off me," he said as he plopped back down in the chair, knocking over another chair. "Christ, I can't even sit down without messing something up."

"Nick, stop," Rachel said as she swung her chair in front of him. "You're only hurting yourself worse," she said as she sat down.

"But all these people just think I'm some big dumbass," he said. "I can't please anyone."

Rachel gently took his hand and caressed his fingers. "Nick, you are a very special person. Anyone who can't see that is blind. So what if you've gained weight, you still look amazing."

Nick glanced at her, his forehead lightly wrinkled. "Amazing?" he said with a smirk.

Rachel felt her cheeks burn. "You know what I mean," she said as she let go of his hand. "The point is that you need to stop living your life for other people. Just do what you want. The only person who can stop you from living is yourself. So, stop beating yourself up over stupid things and worry about what matters."

"And what matters?"

"Happiness," Rachel replied. "Everything else is trivial."

"How can I find happiness when I feel like people are trying to chop me down to my knees?"

"Then that's when you crawl your way to success. It may be slower, but at least you'll have your dignity."

Nick was quiet for a moment then he stood back up. He slowly walked over to the pool. Rachel followed closely behind him.

"And what about these girls I fall for? Why can't I find a girl to love me for me and not my persona?"

"It'll happen for you one day, Nick," Rachel said as she put her hand on his back.

"I just get so sick of being used. I mean between the girls and the public sometimes I just want to…" he said as he trailed off. Nick looked down at the pool. "Ever wonder how people would react if you were to die?"

Rachel felt her heart jump at his statement. "What are you getting at?"

He continued looking down at the pool. "It's just a thought. I think about it all the time. I mean, it would be so easy for me to just, you know, do away with myself."

Rachel gripped onto his elbow. "No, Nick, that's not an option."

"I mean, I think about who would be at my funeral. Then I think about who would be there that would really cared," he continued, ignoring her statement.

"And what conclusion did you come to?"

Nick pursed his lips and tilted his head to the side. "That I'm just too chicken to go through with it."

"That's a really piss poor attitude to have," she said flatly.

"Oh, well," Nick said with a sigh. "You wouldn't understand anyway."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Look, you have somebody that loves you, not me."

Rachel snorted. "You've not been paying very close attention to my life then."

"Oh, please," Nick said with sarcasm. "Spare me the sob story," he said as he walked back to the chair.

Rachel felt herself become angry. She stood in front of him and placed her hands on her hips. She shook her head in disappointment and sighed.

"Go to hell," she muttered as she started to walk away.

Rachel felt Nick grab her arm. She whirled around and bumped into him. He let out a loud sigh and put his arms around her. Rachel felt herself melt a little in his arms.

"I'm sorry," he said as he rested his chin on the top of her head. "I didn't mean that. I know you're just being a friend."

Rachel rested her head on his chest and let in a deep breath.

"I care about you, Nick. I care a lot," she said.

"I know and I care about you too," he said as he squeezed her tighter. "I'm just drunk and in a bad mood. I didn't mean to take it out on you. Do you forgive me."

Rachel smirked. "That depends."

"On what?"

"On whether you let me hang out with you more often," she said.

Nick chuckled and nodded as he let go of her. "I think I can do that."

"Good," Rachel replied as she stepped back.

"I should probably go to bed," he said. "I've got a meeting with the guys in the morning," he continued as he led her back inside.

Rachel walked inside the house and walked toward the front door. His hand was on the small of her back. Nick opened the door for her and they stepped outside. They didn't speak a word as he walked her to her car. Rachel unlocked the door and looked at him.

"Thank you," he said as he looked into her eyes. "You're a blessing."

Rachel smiled and rested her hand on his arm. "Anytime," she said.

Nick smiled and stared into her eyes for a moment. Rachel found herself lost in his glance. Even in the moonlit sky, his eyes still shone of the brightest blue. He slowly moved forward and before she could react, his lips pressed against hers. She felt her knees buckle as she pressed herself against the car. His lips were soft and silky. She closed her eyes and her heart pounded against her chest. Her whole body felt an intense vibe that she'd never felt before. Nick released the kiss and looked at her. Rachel was almost afraid to look up at him. She slowly lifted her eyes up to look at him and he shyly scratched his chin.

"Um, you should probably get going," he said.

Rachel nodded. "Yeah, I should," she said as she opened the car door and got into the car.

She turned on the ignition and rolled down her window. Nick leaned into the window and looked at her.

"Call me later?" he asked.

Rachel nodded. "Yeah, I'll call you later."

Nick smiled and stood up straight. "Cool," he said then tapped on the hood. "Night," he said.

"Night," Rachel said as she rolled the window back up.

She watched Nick make his way in front of her car. He waved at her and went into the house. Rachel sat in her car in shock, trying to make sense of what had happened. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of her cell phone ringing. She picked it up and opened it.

"Hello?"

"Hey, I just got home," Brian said. "Where are you?"

Rachel struggled to find the words. "I was with Nick," she said softly. "He needed to talk."

"Okay," Brian said with a yawn. "You coming home?"

"Yeah, I'm on my way now."

"Okay, well, I'm off to bed," he said. "See you in the morning."

"Okay," Rachel said.

"Night," Brian said then hung up.

Rachel hung up her cell phone and sighed. She felt torn and confused. Without another thought, she put her car in reverse and headed for home.

[HollyBird]

Okay, I scrounged up something I feel like sharing. It's a sniplet of a BSB fan fic that my readers adore. It's called Shape Of My Heart. Part three of the BSB Romance Series. Anyway, the chapter is still in editing form, but good enough to share. My readers love this chapter so much. I think it's probably some of my powerful work. That's coming up! :)

oh goody gumdrops, I am so excited...

[Dnicki07]

That's a great song! I'd never heard it before.

They're a christian band. My friends aunt holds this huge festival called "Kingdom Bound" and they come every year.

So I'm not suprised that you haven't heard it. Even though it has the mainstream sound, I doubt it'll ever get any airplay.

[HollyBird]

This takes place in 2000, just so you know. I had to edit some of the language. Nick's mouth is a little more colorful than this, but you get the idea. :laugh:


http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q81/passionwriter81/confusion.jpg

Rachel parked her car in Nick's driveway and walked up to the door. She was thankful to see that he left the door unlocked for her. The house was quiet as she looked around for him. She didn't see him anywhere downstairs so she made her way upstairs. His bedroom door was halfway open. Rachel could hear him shuffling around in his room. She lightly knocked on the door, but he didn't answer.

"Nick?" she said as she slowly opened the door a little wider. "Can I come in?"

Rachel peeked her head in the door and saw him go into his bathroom and shut the door behind him. She stepped into the room and looked around. Rachel couldn't help but laugh as she saw that his dresser drawers were wide open and several pairs of pajama pants had been scattered everywhere. She bent down and picked the pants up off the floor and neatly folded them. Rachel put them back in the drawer for him and sat on the bed. She heard a loud crash in the bathroom. Rachel quickly stood up and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Nick?" she said as she pressed her ear against the door. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, hold on," he mumbled.

Rachel pressed her ear closer to the door and put her hand on the doorknob. She turned it slightly; it was unlocked. She could hear Nick coughing so she opened the door to a small crack.

"You need any help?" she asked while leaning against the door.

"Don't look," Nick said as he began to vomit.

Rachel held back her laughter. "I'll get you some water," she said as she shut the door and went downstairs.

Rachel filled a glass full of water and went back upstairs. When she got back to his room, he was still in the bathroom, but he was now sitting on the floor in front of the toilet. Rachel slowly walked up to him and handed him the glass of water. She knelt down in front of him.

"You okay?" she asked in a gentle voice.

Nick sipped the water and shook his head. "This wasn't a good idea," he mumbled.

"It never is," Rachel said softly.

"Ugh," Nick groaned as he put his head on the side of the toilet. "Why do I do this to myself?"

Rachel looked at him tenderly and stood up. "Come on, get up," she said as she offered him his hand.

"No, I can't get up," he whined.

"Yes, you can. Come on, stand up."

Nick took her hand and slowly stood up. Rachel held onto his arm and led him out of the bedroom.

"Where are we going?" he asked while stumbling.

"Downstairs by the pool. The fresh air will do you some good," she said as she stood in front of him. "I'm gonna walk backwards. Take one stair at a time and don't topple over me," she said with a smirk.

"Very funny," he said as he began walking down the stairs.

Rachel helped him down the stairs and they walked across the kitchen to his patio. Nick plopped down on a lawn chair and sighed. Rachel took a seat next to him.

"God, I'm going to regret this in the morning," he said.

Rachel chuckled and shook her head. "What were you thinking in the first place?"

Nick shrugged. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Why?" Rachel asked as she crossed her legs.

"Why does anyone drink?"

"Do you really want to get into this subject with me?" Rachel said in a low tone.

Nick glanced at her. "You seem pissed at me."

Rachel shook her head. "No, not pissed. A little disappointed maybe."

"Why?"

"Because I know there are other ways to handle a problem besides drinking."

"I wasn't handling anything," Nick said as he sat up. "I was just trying to make it go away."

"Make what go away?"

"The pain," he said in a hoarse whisper.

Rachel looked at him with a serious expression. "Don't you know that drinking never makes anything go away? It only amplifies it."

Nick grit his teeth and looked away. "I know," he said.

"So why do it?"

"Because it seemed to work for a little while, but then…"

"Then what?"

"Then I remembered why I wanted to drink in the first place."

"Which was?" Rachel asked as she scooted her chair closer to him.

Nick shook his head and stood up. He stumbled slightly and Rachel quickly grabbed onto his arm. She stood up and looked into his eyes. They were glistening with tears.

"Talk to me," she said softly. "Maybe I can help."

Nick sucked in a breath and sniffled. "No one can help me," he said.

"What do you mean?"

Nick wiped the tears off his face and let out an exaggerated laugh. "I'm frickin' Nick Carter. Don't you understand that? I'm not a real person to anyone. I'm just another ing pretty face on the TV screen. They tell me to jump and I ask how high. I'm their money goat."

"Who are you talking about?"

"Them!" Nick said as he threw his hands up in the air. "The media, JIVE, radio people, MTV, and even my fans. I'm just a toy they play with."

"Nick, you're being a little irrational," Rachel said.

"No, I'm not. Do you know what they say about me? Do you?" he said in a louder tone.

Rachel looked at him with a straight face. "I've heard a lot of things, Nick."

Nick chuckled. "Exactly," he said as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "You know I went online the other day and found this fan site dedicated to me. At first it made me smile and then I saw the disclaimer at the bottom."

Nick paused for a moment then looked at Rachel. He bit his lip and shifted back and forth. He looked up at the sky and lightly bounced on the balls of his feet.

"What did it say?" she asked.

"She said that she used to be a fan of mine until I got too fat. Now I just look like a big, fat slob to her."

"Nick, that's just one fan. I mean--"

"And then I heard some people on the radio making jokes about my appearance," he continued. "How they think I'm on the verge of a breakdown because I've put on a few pounds."

"Nick--"

"And frickin' JIVE wants me to lose weight. That's all these people care about. They just want to get rich off me," he said as he plopped back down in the chair, knocking over another chair. "Christ, I can't even sit down without messing something up."

"Nick, stop," Rachel said as she swung her chair in front of him. "You're only hurting yourself worse," she said as she sat down.

"But all these people just think I'm some big dumbass," he said. "I can't please anyone."

Rachel gently took his hand and caressed his fingers. "Nick, you are a very special person. Anyone who can't see that is blind. So what if you've gained weight, you still look amazing."

Nick glanced at her, his forehead lightly wrinkled. "Amazing?" he said with a smirk.

Rachel felt her cheeks burn. "You know what I mean," she said as she let go of his hand. "The point is that you need to stop living your life for other people. Just do what you want. The only person who can stop you from living is yourself. So, stop beating yourself up over stupid things and worry about what matters."

"And what matters?"

"Happiness," Rachel replied. "Everything else is trivial."

"How can I find happiness when I feel like people are trying to chop me down to my knees?"

"Then that's when you crawl your way to success. It may be slower, but at least you'll have your dignity."

Nick was quiet for a moment then he stood back up. He slowly walked over to the pool. Rachel followed closely behind him.

"And what about these girls I fall for? Why can't I find a girl to love me for me and not my persona?"

"It'll happen for you one day, Nick," Rachel said as she put her hand on his back.

"I just get so sick of being used. I mean between the girls and the public sometimes I just want to…" he said as he trailed off. Nick looked down at the pool. "Ever wonder how people would react if you were to die?"

Rachel felt her heart jump at his statement. "What are you getting at?"

He continued looking down at the pool. "It's just a thought. I think about it all the time. I mean, it would be so easy for me to just, you know, do away with myself."

Rachel gripped onto his elbow. "No, Nick, that's not an option."

"I mean, I think about who would be at my funeral. Then I think about who would be there that would really cared," he continued, ignoring her statement.

"And what conclusion did you come to?"

Nick pursed his lips and tilted his head to the side. "That I'm just too chicken to go through with it."

"That's a really piss poor attitude to have," she said flatly.

"Oh, well," Nick said with a sigh. "You wouldn't understand anyway."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Look, you have somebody that loves you, not me."

Rachel snorted. "You've not been paying very close attention to my life then."

"Oh, please," Nick said with sarcasm. "Spare me the sob story," he said as he walked back to the chair.

Rachel felt herself become angry. She stood in front of him and placed her hands on her hips. She shook her head in disappointment and sighed.

"Go to hell," she muttered as she started to walk away.

Rachel felt Nick grab her arm. She whirled around and bumped into him. He let out a loud sigh and put his arms around her. Rachel felt herself melt a little in his arms.

"I'm sorry," he said as he rested his chin on the top of her head. "I didn't mean that. I know you're just being a friend."

Rachel rested her head on his chest and let in a deep breath.

"I care about you, Nick. I care a lot," she said.

"I know and I care about you too," he said as he squeezed her tighter. "I'm just drunk and in a bad mood. I didn't mean to take it out on you. Do you forgive me."

Rachel smirked. "That depends."

"On what?"

"On whether you let me hang out with you more often," she said.

Nick chuckled and nodded as he let go of her. "I think I can do that."

"Good," Rachel replied as she stepped back.

"I should probably go to bed," he said. "I've got a meeting with the guys in the morning," he continued as he led her back inside.

Rachel walked inside the house and walked toward the front door. His hand was on the small of her back. Nick opened the door for her and they stepped outside. They didn't speak a word as he walked her to her car. Rachel unlocked the door and looked at him.

"Thank you," he said as he looked into her eyes. "You're a blessing."

Rachel smiled and rested her hand on his arm. "Anytime," she said.

Nick smiled and stared into her eyes for a moment. Rachel found herself lost in his glance. Even in the moonlit sky, his eyes still shone of the brightest blue. He slowly moved forward and before she could react, his lips pressed against hers. She felt her knees buckle as she pressed herself against the car. His lips were soft and silky. She closed her eyes and her heart pounded against her chest. Her whole body felt an intense vibe that she'd never felt before. Nick released the kiss and looked at her. Rachel was almost afraid to look up at him. She slowly lifted her eyes up to look at him and he shyly scratched his chin.

"Um, you should probably get going," he said.

Rachel nodded. "Yeah, I should," she said as she opened the car door and got into the car.

She turned on the ignition and rolled down her window. Nick leaned into the window and looked at her.

"Call me later?" he asked.

Rachel nodded. "Yeah, I'll call you later."

Nick smiled and stood up straight. "Cool," he said then tapped on the hood. "Night," he said.

"Night," Rachel said as she rolled the window back up.

She watched Nick make his way in front of her car. He waved at her and went into the house. Rachel sat in her car in shock, trying to make sense of what had happened. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of her cell phone ringing. She picked it up and opened it.

"Hello?"

"Hey, I just got home," Brian said. "Where are you?"

Rachel struggled to find the words. "I was with Nick," she said softly. "He needed to talk."

"Okay," Brian said with a yawn. "You coming home?"

"Yeah, I'm on my way now."

"Okay, well, I'm off to bed," he said. "See you in the morning."

"Okay," Rachel said.

"Night," Brian said then hung up.

Rachel hung up her cell phone and sighed. She felt torn and confused. Without another thought, she put her car in reverse and headed for home.

RACH!!! that was incredible, I am so hooked.. It felt so real, I felt like I was right there.. man, you are so insanely talented.. :)

[BSBSavedMyLife]

RACH!!! that was incredible, I am so hooked.. It felt so real, I felt like I was right there.. man, you are so insanely talented.. :)

:roll: Want another teaser?

[PinkJewel]

This takes place in 2000, just so you know. I had to edit some of the language. Nick's mouth is a little more colorful than this, but you get the idea. :laugh:


http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q81/passionwriter81/confusion.jpg

Rachel parked her car in Nick's driveway and walked up to the door. She was thankful to see that he left the door unlocked for her. The house was quiet as she looked around for him. She didn't see him anywhere downstairs so she made her way upstairs. His bedroom door was halfway open. Rachel could hear him shuffling around in his room. She lightly knocked on the door, but he didn't answer.

"Nick?" she said as she slowly opened the door a little wider. "Can I come in?"

Rachel peeked her head in the door and saw him go into his bathroom and shut the door behind him. She stepped into the room and looked around. Rachel couldn't help but laugh as she saw that his dresser drawers were wide open and several pairs of pajama pants had been scattered everywhere. She bent down and picked the pants up off the floor and neatly folded them. Rachel put them back in the drawer for him and sat on the bed. She heard a loud crash in the bathroom. Rachel quickly stood up and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Nick?" she said as she pressed her ear against the door. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, hold on," he mumbled.

Rachel pressed her ear closer to the door and put her hand on the doorknob. She turned it slightly; it was unlocked. She could hear Nick coughing so she opened the door to a small crack.

"You need any help?" she asked while leaning against the door.

"Don't look," Nick said as he began to vomit.

Rachel held back her laughter. "I'll get you some water," she said as she shut the door and went downstairs.

Rachel filled a glass full of water and went back upstairs. When she got back to his room, he was still in the bathroom, but he was now sitting on the floor in front of the toilet. Rachel slowly walked up to him and handed him the glass of water. She knelt down in front of him.

"You okay?" she asked in a gentle voice.

Nick sipped the water and shook his head. "This wasn't a good idea," he mumbled.

"It never is," Rachel said softly.

"Ugh," Nick groaned as he put his head on the side of the toilet. "Why do I do this to myself?"

Rachel looked at him tenderly and stood up. "Come on, get up," she said as she offered him his hand.

"No, I can't get up," he whined.

"Yes, you can. Come on, stand up."

Nick took her hand and slowly stood up. Rachel held onto his arm and led him out of the bedroom.

"Where are we going?" he asked while stumbling.

"Downstairs by the pool. The fresh air will do you some good," she said as she stood in front of him. "I'm gonna walk backwards. Take one stair at a time and don't topple over me," she said with a smirk.

"Very funny," he said as he began walking down the stairs.

Rachel helped him down the stairs and they walked across the kitchen to his patio. Nick plopped down on a lawn chair and sighed. Rachel took a seat next to him.

"God, I'm going to regret this in the morning," he said.

Rachel chuckled and shook her head. "What were you thinking in the first place?"

Nick shrugged. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Why?" Rachel asked as she crossed her legs.

"Why does anyone drink?"

"Do you really want to get into this subject with me?" Rachel said in a low tone.

Nick glanced at her. "You seem pissed at me."

Rachel shook her head. "No, not pissed. A little disappointed maybe."

"Why?"

"Because I know there are other ways to handle a problem besides drinking."

"I wasn't handling anything," Nick said as he sat up. "I was just trying to make it go away."

"Make what go away?"

"The pain," he said in a hoarse whisper.

Rachel looked at him with a serious expression. "Don't you know that drinking never makes anything go away? It only amplifies it."

Nick grit his teeth and looked away. "I know," he said.

"So why do it?"

"Because it seemed to work for a little while, but then…"

"Then what?"

"Then I remembered why I wanted to drink in the first place."

"Which was?" Rachel asked as she scooted her chair closer to him.

Nick shook his head and stood up. He stumbled slightly and Rachel quickly grabbed onto his arm. She stood up and looked into his eyes. They were glistening with tears.

"Talk to me," she said softly. "Maybe I can help."

Nick sucked in a breath and sniffled. "No one can help me," he said.

"What do you mean?"

Nick wiped the tears off his face and let out an exaggerated laugh. "I'm frickin' Nick Carter. Don't you understand that? I'm not a real person to anyone. I'm just another ing pretty face on the TV screen. They tell me to jump and I ask how high. I'm their money goat."

"Who are you talking about?"

"Them!" Nick said as he threw his hands up in the air. "The media, JIVE, radio people, MTV, and even my fans. I'm just a toy they play with."

"Nick, you're being a little irrational," Rachel said.

"No, I'm not. Do you know what they say about me? Do you?" he said in a louder tone.

Rachel looked at him with a straight face. "I've heard a lot of things, Nick."

Nick chuckled. "Exactly," he said as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "You know I went online the other day and found this fan site dedicated to me. At first it made me smile and then I saw the disclaimer at the bottom."

Nick paused for a moment then looked at Rachel. He bit his lip and shifted back and forth. He looked up at the sky and lightly bounced on the balls of his feet.

"What did it say?" she asked.

"She said that she used to be a fan of mine until I got too fat. Now I just look like a big, fat slob to her."

"Nick, that's just one fan. I mean--"

"And then I heard some people on the radio making jokes about my appearance," he continued. "How they think I'm on the verge of a breakdown because I've put on a few pounds."

"Nick--"

"And frickin' JIVE wants me to lose weight. That's all these people care about. They just want to get rich off me," he said as he plopped back down in the chair, knocking over another chair. "Christ, I can't even sit down without messing something up."

"Nick, stop," Rachel said as she swung her chair in front of him. "You're only hurting yourself worse," she said as she sat down.

"But all these people just think I'm some big dumbass," he said. "I can't please anyone."

Rachel gently took his hand and caressed his fingers. "Nick, you are a very special person. Anyone who can't see that is blind. So what if you've gained weight, you still look amazing."

Nick glanced at her, his forehead lightly wrinkled. "Amazing?" he said with a smirk.

Rachel felt her cheeks burn. "You know what I mean," she said as she let go of his hand. "The point is that you need to stop living your life for other people. Just do what you want. The only person who can stop you from living is yourself. So, stop beating yourself up over stupid things and worry about what matters."

"And what matters?"

"Happiness," Rachel replied. "Everything else is trivial."

"How can I find happiness when I feel like people are trying to chop me down to my knees?"

"Then that's when you crawl your way to success. It may be slower, but at least you'll have your dignity."

Nick was quiet for a moment then he stood back up. He slowly walked over to the pool. Rachel followed closely behind him.

"And what about these girls I fall for? Why can't I find a girl to love me for me and not my persona?"

"It'll happen for you one day, Nick," Rachel said as she put her hand on his back.

"I just get so sick of being used. I mean between the girls and the public sometimes I just want to…" he said as he trailed off. Nick looked down at the pool. "Ever wonder how people would react if you were to die?"

Rachel felt her heart jump at his statement. "What are you getting at?"

He continued looking down at the pool. "It's just a thought. I think about it all the time. I mean, it would be so easy for me to just, you know, do away with myself."

Rachel gripped onto his elbow. "No, Nick, that's not an option."

"I mean, I think about who would be at my funeral. Then I think about who would be there that would really cared," he continued, ignoring her statement.

"And what conclusion did you come to?"

Nick pursed his lips and tilted his head to the side. "That I'm just too chicken to go through with it."

"That's a really piss poor attitude to have," she said flatly.

"Oh, well," Nick said with a sigh. "You wouldn't understand anyway."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Look, you have somebody that loves you, not me."

Rachel snorted. "You've not been paying very close attention to my life then."

"Oh, please," Nick said with sarcasm. "Spare me the sob story," he said as he walked back to the chair.

Rachel felt herself become angry. She stood in front of him and placed her hands on her hips. She shook her head in disappointment and sighed.

"Go to hell," she muttered as she started to walk away.

Rachel felt Nick grab her arm. She whirled around and bumped into him. He let out a loud sigh and put his arms around her. Rachel felt herself melt a little in his arms.

"I'm sorry," he said as he rested his chin on the top of her head. "I didn't mean that. I know you're just being a friend."

Rachel rested her head on his chest and let in a deep breath.

"I care about you, Nick. I care a lot," she said.

"I know and I care about you too," he said as he squeezed her tighter. "I'm just drunk and in a bad mood. I didn't mean to take it out on you. Do you forgive me."

Rachel smirked. "That depends."

"On what?"

"On whether you let me hang out with you more often," she said.

Nick chuckled and nodded as he let go of her. "I think I can do that."

"Good," Rachel replied as she stepped back.

"I should probably go to bed," he said. "I've got a meeting with the guys in the morning," he continued as he led her back inside.

Rachel walked inside the house and walked toward the front door. His hand was on the small of her back. Nick opened the door for her and they stepped outside. They didn't speak a word as he walked her to her car. Rachel unlocked the door and looked at him.

"Thank you," he said as he looked into her eyes. "You're a blessing."

Rachel smiled and rested her hand on his arm. "Anytime," she said.

Nick smiled and stared into her eyes for a moment. Rachel found herself lost in his glance. Even in the moonlit sky, his eyes still shone of the brightest blue. He slowly moved forward and before she could react, his lips pressed against hers. She felt her knees buckle as she pressed herself against the car. His lips were soft and silky. She closed her eyes and her heart pounded against her chest. Her whole body felt an intense vibe that she'd never felt before. Nick released the kiss and looked at her. Rachel was almost afraid to look up at him. She slowly lifted her eyes up to look at him and he shyly scratched his chin.

"Um, you should probably get going," he said.

Rachel nodded. "Yeah, I should," she said as she opened the car door and got into the car.

She turned on the ignition and rolled down her window. Nick leaned into the window and looked at her.

"Call me later?" he asked.

Rachel nodded. "Yeah, I'll call you later."

Nick smiled and stood up straight. "Cool," he said then tapped on the hood. "Night," he said.

"Night," Rachel said as she rolled the window back up.

She watched Nick make his way in front of her car. He waved at her and went into the house. Rachel sat in her car in shock, trying to make sense of what had happened. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of her cell phone ringing. She picked it up and opened it.

"Hello?"

"Hey, I just got home," Brian said. "Where are you?"

Rachel struggled to find the words. "I was with Nick," she said softly. "He needed to talk."

"Okay," Brian said with a yawn. "You coming home?"

"Yeah, I'm on my way now."

"Okay, well, I'm off to bed," he said. "See you in the morning."

"Okay," Rachel said.

"Night," Brian said then hung up.

Rachel hung up her cell phone and sighed. She felt torn and confused. Without another thought, she put her car in reverse and headed for home.
That seriously made me cry. :( I was in the best mood and then I was talking to Dawn about people who I've lost and that's when I read this part:
"I wasn't handling anything," Nick said as he sat up. "I was just trying to make it go away."

"Make what go away?"

"The pain," he said in a hoarse whisper.

I know that's why people drink and do a lot of things, but for some reason at that moment, that's all it took to open the flood gates. lol

[BSBSavedMyLife]

That seriously made me cry. :( I was in the best mood and then I was talking to Dawn about people who I've lost and that's when I read this part:
"I wasn't handling anything," Nick said as he sat up. "I was just trying to make it go away."

"Make what go away?"

"The pain," he said in a hoarse whisper.

I know that's why people drink and do a lot of things, but for some reason at that moment, that's all it took to open the flood gates. lol

Awww oh no! Here, I'll post a happy chapter with the couple. :p Give me a sec! :D

[BSBSavedMyLife]

This takes place after Rachel and Brian decided their relationship should split up. Nick and Rachel give into their feelings and become a couple. All the while, Howie loses the love of his life to anorexia and bulimia. It starts out kinda sappy, but this is a happy chapter, another readers' favorite. :D


http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q81/passionwriter81/confusion.jpg


Nick wandered around the house with a bowl of cereal in his hand. He stopped at the window and looked outside. Nick chuckled under his breath as leaned against the window frame and watched his dogs chase each other around the yard. He scooped up the last spoonful of cereal then drank the milk. Nick softly hummed to himself as he put the bowl in the dishwasher and wandered upstairs for a shower. He slowly opened the bedroom door and saw that Rachel was fast asleep on top of the blankets. It was a little warm in the room, so he clicked on the fan. He was careful not to wake her since he knew she was tired from the funeral. Nick quietly shut the bathroom door and got into the shower. The warm water felt good against his back. It had been a long couple of days.

After his shower, he wrapped the towel around his waist and wandered back into the bedroom. Rachel was still asleep, but she'd changed positions. She was now laying on her right side. Nick quietly got a pair of jogging pants and slipped them on. The sun was starting to set and the light was beginning to settle into the room. He softly smiled as he walked over to the window and closed the blinds. Nick heard Rachel yawn as he turned around. He smirked and laid beside her on the bed.

"Hey, you," he whispered as he brushed a stray hair away from her cheek.

"Hi," Rachel said softly.

"You okay?" he asked as he gently rubbed her back.

Rachel nodded. "Just tired," she answered.

Nick looked at her tenderly then kissed her forehead. "I didn't know when you'd wake up, so I didn't bother making anything for dinner."

"It's okay," she said as she snuggled up next to him. "I'm not really that hungry anyway."

Nick smoothed out her hair then put his arms around her. Rachel rolled over on her left side and Nick held her close. He heard her softly sniffle. Nick kissed her cheek and squeezed her tighter around her waist.

"I thought you said you were okay," he said softly.

"I am," she replied while sniffling.

"No, you're not," Nick said as he rested his chin on the top of her head.

Rachel sighed and removed his arms from around her waist. "I'm sorry," she said as she sat up and wiped the tears off her face. "I don't deal well with death."

"I understand," Nick said as he rolled over on his back.

"I know I wasn't real close with Nikki, but she was still my friend," Rachel explained.

"I know," Nick said as he lightly caressed her arm.

"God, what a rotten day," Rachel said with a sigh.

Nick licked his lips and sat up. "You know what?"

"What?" Rachel said as she looked over at him.

Nick got off the bed and pulled on a T-shirt that was sitting on the dresser. "I think we both need some fresh air. Let's gather up the dogs and go for a walk," he said as he offered her his hand.

Rachel stared at his hand then slowly looked up at him. "Nick…"

"Come on," he said with a smile.

"Okay," Rachel gave in then took his hand.

They went downstairs to the living room. Rachel slipped on her sneakers as Nick went out to the garage and gathered all the leashes. He stepped back in and smiled when he saw Rachel waiting for him. Nick handed her the leashes the kissed her on the cheek.

"I'll put on my shoes if you want to gather up the dogs."

"Got it," Rachel said then went outside.

After Nick put on his sneakers, he stepped outside and grabbed Nikki and Houston from Rachel. Rachel bent down and pet Willie on the head.


"I love this dog," she said with a grin.

Nick snickered. "I know. It's almost scary."

"Shut up," Rachel said as she stood back up. "So where are we walking to?" she asked as she shortened the length on Willie and Mikey's leashes.

"I figured we could walk down the shore and maybe up the boardwalk if it doesn't get too chilly," he said while shielding his eyes from the sun.

"Okay," Rachel said as she began to walk with the dogs.

Nick followed closely behind and caught up with her. Rachel didn't say a word as they walked down to the beach. Nick couldn't help but to look at her. She looked beautiful with her hair glistening in the sunset. He cleared his throat and looked around.

"We can let them go for a while," Nick said as he took the leashes off Nikki and Houston. "They won't wander far," he continued.

"Okay," Rachel said as she took the leases off Mikey and Willie. She laughed as Willie took off for the water and jumped in. "Wow," she said with a grin.

Nick laughed. "Yeah, he loves the water," he said as he sat down on the sand. He grabbed Rachel's hand and pulled her down. "Sit," he said.

Rachel sat beside him on the sand. Nick leaned into her and linked his fingers with hers. Rachel laid her head on his shoulder and stared out into the ocean. He kissed the top of her head and breathed in the scent of her apple scented shampoo. Rachel laughed and pointed at Willie.

"Look at him!"

Nick laughed as he watched him chase after the waves. "That dog really does love the water," he said as he continued to watch him. He busted up laughing when he saw Willie crash and burn into the sand. "Ouch, that had to hurt," he said while laughing. "Willie, you big idiot! Stop trying to chase after waves twice your size!"

Willie barked and came over to them. Rachel grinned and clapped her hands to get his attention. Willie ran over to her and shook off the water. Rachel squealed and laughed.


"Aw, Willie," Nick said with a laugh. "I just took a shower too. Damn you."

Rachel laughed and hugged Willie. "I'm gonna steal your dog."

Nick laughed. "Steal him? Take him, please."

Rachel grinned and continued to pat Willie on the side. "He's a good dog."

"Yeah, he's not too bad," Nick said as he scratched him behind the ears. "He's my sailing buddy."

"You take him sailing?"

"Sure, and he loves it too."

"I've never been sailing."

"Never?"

"Nope."

"Well, we're gonna have to fix that," Nick said then kissed her. "I'll check the weather. Maybe we can go this weekend before we all go back to L.A."

"Okay," she said as she let go of Willie.

Nick looked into her eyes and smiled. "Have I told you lately that you have really beautiful eyes?"

Rachel blushed and looked away from him. "You've never told me that before."

"I haven't?"

"No."

"Well, you do," Nick said as he put his finger under her chin and made her look at him.

Nick tenderly kissed her again, gently grazing his tongue across her lips. Rachel smiled at him and kissed him back.

"I want some ice cream," Rachel said.

Nick laughed. "That was random."

"Well, I do," she said while laughing.

"Okay, we'll take the dogs back to the house and then take a stroll up the boardwalk. I know of an ice cream stand up there."

"Okay," Rachel said as she stood up.

Nick stood up with her and clapped his hands together. "Come on, guys!" he called for the dogs.

All the dogs ran up to them and Nick put the leashes back on them. Once they got the dogs back in the yard, Nick took Rachel's hand and they walked up the boardwalk to an ice cream stand.

"You can get anything you want," he said as he pulled out some cash from his wallet.

"I just want a vanilla cone," Rachel said with a smile.

Nick nodded. "Two cones, please," he told the vendor.

He paid for the cones and handed one to Rachel. She smiled as she took it from him.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," Nick said with a smile. "Let's walk this way."

Rachel walked beside Nick and licked her ice cream cone. She snickered as it began to melt and drip on her hand.

"Damn," she said while licking off the melted edges. The wind blew and some of the ice cream got on her face. "Aw, this isn't fun."

Nick laughed and faced her. "Hold on," he said as he reached over and wiped off a small drop of ice cream off her cheek.

"Thanks," she said then kept eating her ice cream cone.

She was silent as they continued walking. Nick was busy licking his own cone when she spoke.

"Nick?"

"Hmm?" he said as he glanced at her.

"Do you think Howie's going to be okay? I mean, he seems like he's hurting more than he's letting on."

Nick sighed and bit into his cone. "Well…to be honest…" he said while chewing. "Howie's just like that. He doesn't like to express his own misery."

"But will he be okay?"

Nick nodded. "Oh, yeah. He'll be fine. Just as long as we're around to support him, he'll be okay."

"I feel so bad for him."

"I know, me too," Nick said as he polished off the last of his cone. "Ah, brain freeze."

Rachel laughed. "That's what you get."

"Well, it was melting. God, that hurt," he said as he rubbed his temple. "This is all your fault too."


"My fault? What did I do?"

"You're the one who wanted ice cream."

"I never told you to inhale it, you nerd," she said while laughing.

Nick playfully glared at her and bumped her hand, causing her to smash her cone into her face. He busted up laughing as she stood there in shock with ice cream dripping down her face.

"You are so dead, Carter."

"Aw," Nick cooed. "Let me help you," he said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a napkin. He wiped the ice cream off her face and snickered. "There, good as new."

Rachel smirked and shoved the last of her cone in his face. Nick backed up and let the cone hit the ground. Rachel laughed wildly as he took his napkin and wiped the ice cream off his face.

"Oh, you're asking for it."

"Oh, what are you going to do? I'm so scared," she said with a laugh.

"Well, for starters…run," he said with a wicked smile.

Rachel squealed and began running down the boardwalk, back to the house. Nick took off after her and almost caught her arm, but she was too quick. He pumped his legs faster and caught up with her before she got to the door. Nick grabbed her by the waist and carried her over to the pool.

"Nick, no!" she squealed.


"Oops!" he said as he dropped her in the water.

Rachel splashed around and swam back up to the edge. "Screw you!" she said while laughing. "I hate you now!"

Nick laughed and offered her his hand. "I told you not to mess with me. You'll lose every time."

"Oh, buzz off," Rachel said while shivering. "Damn, it's cold."

Nick laughed and lead her into the house. Rachel slipped off her shoes and stood in the kitchen shivering.

"You should take those wet clothes off before you get sick," he said while raising his right eyebrow.

"Don't even think about it," she said as she pulled off her tank top.

"Oh, you're gonna strip in front of me," he said with a wide grin. "This should be fun."

"That's all you're going to see," she said as she tossed the shirt at him. "You better hope I have a change of clothes upstairs.

Nick laughed. "You do. I put your bag in my closet."

"Thank you," she said then walked up to him. "Behave and maybe I'll give you a treat," she said flirtatiously then kissed him.

"Hmmm," he said then kissed her back. "Go change."

"Okay," she said with a smile then went upstairs.

[Dnicki07]

I just wanna dance around my living room..

I sent you a DM on twitter. <3

[HollyBird]

wow, I am loving the story...

it's fantastic...

[HollyBird]

I sent you a DM on twitter. <3

got it hun, and sure you can use whatever u want

[BSBSavedMyLife]

wow, I am loving the story...

it's fantastic...

Thanks! It's my most popular series. It's in the middle of being rewritten. My writing's grown a lot and it all needs to flow just right.

[HollyBird]

*reps to rach*

[HollyBird]

Thanks! It's my most popular series. It's in the middle of being rewritten. My writing's grown a lot and it all needs to flow just right.

I really like it, so easy to follow, makes you feel like you're there.. highly imprerssed

[BSBSavedMyLife]

*reps to rach*

Aw thanks, hon. I'm looking to see what else I can post of it. It's a group story.

[BSBSavedMyLife]

I really like it, so easy to follow, makes you feel like you're there.. highly imprerssed

Thanks so much! My current style is even more descriptive. I'll post the rewrite of the first chapter for the series. Lemme look for it. You'll see the difference.

[bunnycat1981]

Rach, is you thought your message was long, um, well, I'm not finished yet LOL :roll:

Gonna finish it up though, I'm leaving a lot out, but you have more to look forward to, and it's better stuff :)

[PinkJewel]

This takes place after Rachel and Brian decided their relationship should split up. Nick and Rachel give into their feelings and become a couple. All the while, Howie loses the love of his life to anorexia and bulimia. It starts out kinda sappy, but this is a happy chapter, another readers' favorite. :D


http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q81/passionwriter81/confusion.jpg


Nick wandered around the house with a bowl of cereal in his hand. He stopped at the window and looked outside. Nick chuckled under his breath as leaned against the window frame and watched his dogs chase each other around the yard. He scooped up the last spoonful of cereal then drank the milk. Nick softly hummed to himself as he put the bowl in the dishwasher and wandered upstairs for a shower. He slowly opened the bedroom door and saw that Rachel was fast asleep on top of the blankets. It was a little warm in the room, so he clicked on the fan. He was careful not to wake her since he knew she was tired from the funeral. Nick quietly shut the bathroom door and got into the shower. The warm water felt good against his back. It had been a long couple of days.

After his shower, he wrapped the towel around his waist and wandered back into the bedroom. Rachel was still asleep, but she'd changed positions. She was now laying on her right side. Nick quietly got a pair of jogging pants and slipped them on. The sun was starting to set and the light was beginning to settle into the room. He softly smiled as he walked over to the window and closed the blinds. Nick heard Rachel yawn as he turned around. He smirked and laid beside her on the bed.

"Hey, you," he whispered as he brushed a stray hair away from her cheek.

"Hi," Rachel said softly.

"You okay?" he asked as he gently rubbed her back.

Rachel nodded. "Just tired," she answered.

Nick looked at her tenderly then kissed her forehead. "I didn't know when you'd wake up, so I didn't bother making anything for dinner."

"It's okay," she said as she snuggled up next to him. "I'm not really that hungry anyway."

Nick smoothed out her hair then put his arms around her. Rachel rolled over on her left side and Nick held her close. He heard her softly sniffle. Nick kissed her cheek and squeezed her tighter around her waist.

"I thought you said you were okay," he said softly.

"I am," she replied while sniffling.

"No, you're not," Nick said as he rested his chin on the top of her head.

Rachel sighed and removed his arms from around her waist. "I'm sorry," she said as she sat up and wiped the tears off her face. "I don't deal well with death."

"I understand," Nick said as he rolled over on his back.

"I know I wasn't real close with Nikki, but she was still my friend," Rachel explained.

"I know," Nick said as he lightly caressed her arm.

"God, what a rotten day," Rachel said with a sigh.

Nick licked his lips and sat up. "You know what?"

"What?" Rachel said as she looked over at him.

Nick got off the bed and pulled on a T-shirt that was sitting on the dresser. "I think we both need some fresh air. Let's gather up the dogs and go for a walk," he said as he offered her his hand.

Rachel stared at his hand then slowly looked up at him. "Nick…"

"Come on," he said with a smile.

"Okay," Rachel gave in then took his hand.

They went downstairs to the living room. Rachel slipped on her sneakers as Nick went out to the garage and gathered all the leashes. He stepped back in and smiled when he saw Rachel waiting for him. Nick handed her the leashes the kissed her on the cheek.

"I'll put on my shoes if you want to gather up the dogs."

"Got it," Rachel said then went outside.

After Nick put on his sneakers, he stepped outside and grabbed Nikki and Houston from Rachel. Rachel bent down and pet Willie on the head.


"I love this dog," she said with a grin.

Nick snickered. "I know. It's almost scary."

"Shut up," Rachel said as she stood back up. "So where are we walking to?" she asked as she shortened the length on Willie and Mikey's leashes.

"I figured we could walk down the shore and maybe up the boardwalk if it doesn't get too chilly," he said while shielding his eyes from the sun.

"Okay," Rachel said as she began to walk with the dogs.

Nick followed closely behind and caught up with her. Rachel didn't say a word as they walked down to the beach. Nick couldn't help but to look at her. She looked beautiful with her hair glistening in the sunset. He cleared his throat and looked around.

"We can let them go for a while," Nick said as he took the leashes off Nikki and Houston. "They won't wander far," he continued.

"Okay," Rachel said as she took the leases off Mikey and Willie. She laughed as Willie took off for the water and jumped in. "Wow," she said with a grin.

Nick laughed. "Yeah, he loves the water," he said as he sat down on the sand. He grabbed Rachel's hand and pulled her down. "Sit," he said.

Rachel sat beside him on the sand. Nick leaned into her and linked his fingers with hers. Rachel laid her head on his shoulder and stared out into the ocean. He kissed the top of her head and breathed in the scent of her apple scented shampoo. Rachel laughed and pointed at Willie.

"Look at him!"

Nick laughed as he watched him chase after the waves. "That dog really does love the water," he said as he continued to watch him. He busted up laughing when he saw Willie crash and burn into the sand. "Ouch, that had to hurt," he said while laughing. "Willie, you big idiot! Stop trying to chase after waves twice your size!"

Willie barked and came over to them. Rachel grinned and clapped her hands to get his attention. Willie ran over to her and shook off the water. Rachel squealed and laughed.


"Aw, Willie," Nick said with a laugh. "I just took a shower too. Damn you."

Rachel laughed and hugged Willie. "I'm gonna steal your dog."

Nick laughed. "Steal him? Take him, please."

Rachel grinned and continued to pat Willie on the side. "He's a good dog."

"Yeah, he's not too bad," Nick said as he scratched him behind the ears. "He's my sailing buddy."

"You take him sailing?"

"Sure, and he loves it too."

"I've never been sailing."

"Never?"

"Nope."

"Well, we're gonna have to fix that," Nick said then kissed her. "I'll check the weather. Maybe we can go this weekend before we all go back to L.A."

"Okay," she said as she let go of Willie.

Nick looked into her eyes and smiled. "Have I told you lately that you have really beautiful eyes?"

Rachel blushed and looked away from him. "You've never told me that before."

"I haven't?"

"No."

"Well, you do," Nick said as he put his finger under her chin and made her look at him.

Nick tenderly kissed her again, gently grazing his tongue across her lips. Rachel smiled at him and kissed him back.

"I want some ice cream," Rachel said.

Nick laughed. "That was random."

"Well, I do," she said while laughing.

"Okay, we'll take the dogs back to the house and then take a stroll up the boardwalk. I know of an ice cream stand up there."

"Okay," Rachel said as she stood up.

Nick stood up with her and clapped his hands together. "Come on, guys!" he called for the dogs.

All the dogs ran up to them and Nick put the leashes back on them. Once they got the dogs back in the yard, Nick took Rachel's hand and they walked up the boardwalk to an ice cream stand.

"You can get anything you want," he said as he pulled out some cash from his wallet.

"I just want a vanilla cone," Rachel said with a smile.

Nick nodded. "Two cones, please," he told the vendor.

He paid for the cones and handed one to Rachel. She smiled as she took it from him.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," Nick said with a smile. "Let's walk this way."

Rachel walked beside Nick and licked her ice cream cone. She snickered as it began to melt and drip on her hand.

"Damn," she said while licking off the melted edges. The wind blew and some of the ice cream got on her face. "Aw, this isn't fun."

Nick laughed and faced her. "Hold on," he said as he reached over and wiped off a small drop of ice cream off her cheek.

"Thanks," she said then kept eating her ice cream cone.

She was silent as they continued walking. Nick was busy licking his own cone when she spoke.

"Nick?"

"Hmm?" he said as he glanced at her.

"Do you think Howie's going to be okay? I mean, he seems like he's hurting more than he's letting on."

Nick sighed and bit into his cone. "Well…to be honest…" he said while chewing. "Howie's just like that. He doesn't like to express his own misery."

"But will he be okay?"

Nick nodded. "Oh, yeah. He'll be fine. Just as long as we're around to support him, he'll be okay."

"I feel so bad for him."

"I know, me too," Nick said as he polished off the last of his cone. "Ah, brain freeze."

Rachel laughed. "That's what you get."

"Well, it was melting. God, that hurt," he said as he rubbed his temple. "This is all your fault too."


"My fault? What did I do?"

"You're the one who wanted ice cream."

"I never told you to inhale it, you nerd," she said while laughing.

Nick playfully glared at her and bumped her hand, causing her to smash her cone into her face. He busted up laughing as she stood there in shock with ice cream dripping down her face.

"You are so dead, Carter."

"Aw," Nick cooed. "Let me help you," he said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a napkin. He wiped the ice cream off her face and snickered. "There, good as new."

Rachel smirked and shoved the last of her cone in his face. Nick backed up and let the cone hit the ground. Rachel laughed wildly as he took his napkin and wiped the ice cream off his face.

"Oh, you're asking for it."

"Oh, what are you going to do? I'm so scared," she said with a laugh.

"Well, for starters…run," he said with a wicked smile.

Rachel squealed and began running down the boardwalk, back to the house. Nick took off after her and almost caught her arm, but she was too quick. He pumped his legs faster and caught up with her before she got to the door. Nick grabbed her by the waist and carried her over to the pool.

"Nick, no!" she squealed.


"Oops!" he said as he dropped her in the water.

Rachel splashed around and swam back up to the edge. "Screw you!" she said while laughing. "I hate you now!"

Nick laughed and offered her his hand. "I told you not to mess with me. You'll lose every time."

"Oh, buzz off," Rachel said while shivering. "Damn, it's cold."

Nick laughed and lead her into the house. Rachel slipped off her shoes and stood in the kitchen shivering.

"You should take those wet clothes off before you get sick," he said while raising his right eyebrow.

"Don't even think about it," she said as she pulled off her tank top.

"Oh, you're gonna strip in front of me," he said with a wide grin. "This should be fun."

"That's all you're going to see," she said as she tossed the shirt at him. "You better hope I have a change of clothes upstairs.

Nick laughed. "You do. I put your bag in my closet."

"Thank you," she said then walked up to him. "Behave and maybe I'll give you a treat," she said flirtatiously then kissed him.

"Hmmm," he said then kissed her back. "Go change."

"Okay," she said with a smile then went upstairs.

That's really good! :)

This part made me cry, too:
"Hey, you," he whispered as he brushed a stray hair away from her cheek.

"Hi," Rachel said softly.

"You okay?" he asked as he gently rubbed her back.

[BSBSavedMyLife]

That's really good! :)

This part made me cry, too:
"Hey, you," he whispered as he brushed a stray hair away from her cheek.

"Hi," Rachel said softly.

"You okay?" he asked as he gently rubbed her back.

:roll: Damn I fail. :p

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Rach, is you thought your message was long, um, well, I'm not finished yet LOL :roll:

Gonna finish it up though, I'm leaving a lot out, but you have more to look forward to, and it's better stuff :)


LMAO! Nice! :)

[Dnicki07]

Tonight has been really amazing on this forum. <3

It's a chill, relaxed atmosphere. I think we all needed this.

[PinkJewel]

:roll: Damn I fail. :p

It's not your fault. I think I just needed a reality check.

[HollyBird]

Rach, is you thought your message was long, um, well, I'm not finished yet LOL :roll:

Gonna finish it up though, I'm leaving a lot out, but you have more to look forward to, and it's better stuff :)

you writing a story too??

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Okay, this is the new rewrite for my very first fic, "All I Have to Give." It's book 1 of the Romance Series. I think it's a bit obvious that I used myself in the book and real life events. This is how I learned to cope with my past. And, yes, it's a bit dark, but not too bad.




The house was silent as Rachel packed up the last of her things into a box. Daylight was just starting to break as she taped up the box and stood back onto her feet. Rachel placed her hands on her hips and softly sighed. She slowly looked around at the room that had become her personal sanctuary all through high school. The walls were completely bare and the mood seemed depressing and heartbreaking. A cold draft slithered across her back and Rachel shivered lightly as she walked to her window. She shut the window and closed her eyes at the touch of the cold glass against her fingertips. For a moment, she felt numb and heavy in her legs. She didn’t want to move from her spot. If she moved, everything would become real and her life would change dramatically. As much as she knew that change is what she needed, she couldn’t help but fear that things would crumble beneath her. All her life, she had been painfully alone and forced to grow up quickly. She was beginning to have doubts of her decision to move to Florida. Rachel sighed as she pressed her nose against the glass, her breath softly fogging against her lips. She looked out at her car in the driveway and saw her car sitting alone on the pavement. A sigh escaped her lips as she noticed the touch of frost on the hood. It was barely August and it was obvious that fall was coming early in the Missouri region. The thought of cold weather approaching made her smirk of the idea of sunshine and beaches coming her way. It was at that moment that she assured herself that her decision was the right one. She had to get out of that house. There was no other way around it. If she stayed there any longer, she knew she would be swallowed into the darkness of her mother’s own personal misery. It was time to take control of her own life.

Rachel stepped away from the window and walked to her closet. It was completely bare except for a few hangers, lightly dangling from the rod. She glanced at the full length mirror on the door. It was the last thing to take with her. Rachel studied her reflection in the mirror. Her slender, 5’1” frame stood quietly in front of the mirror. She stared into her own dark blue eyes and pursed her lips as she pulled back her long, brown hair. Her doubt began to swim over her again as she worked out a plan to remove the mirror from the door. With a touch of frustration, she grabbed the edges of the door and carefully peeled it off the door. The adhesive tape crackled as she pulled it a little harder. Rachel pried the mirror off with a loud pop. She closed her eyes at the sound and stepped away from the door with the mirror in her hands. Rachel sighed of relief as she opened her eyes to see that the mirror remained undamaged. She quietly stepped into the dark hallway and made her way to the front door with the mirror. When she stepped outside, she immediately regretted not putting on her hoodie and quickly made her way to the U-Haul trailer attached to the back of her car. Rachel swiftly unlocked the trailer and slipped the mirror in an opening just thin enough to hold it snugly. Her teeth lightly chattered as she ran back into the house to grab the last box.

Rachel tip toed through the living room, careful to not wake her mother, who was passed out on the couch, the after effect of her drunken adventure the night before. Rachel moved quickly past her and back to her room. She was surprised to see her brother, Adam, standing in her empty room, waiting for her. He was still dressed in his blue Superman pajamas with the feeties. She couldn’t help but smile at the appearance of her baby brother. He was always a little immature, but she loved him anyway.

“Are you leaving now?” he asked softly.

“I just have this last box,” Rachel said in a hoarse whisper. “I’m surprised you’re awake.”

“I wanted to be up when you left,” he said as he picked up the box for her. “Walk with me to the car.”

“Okay, but be quiet, Mom’s still asleep on the couch.”

“What else is new?” he muttered as he carried the box out of the room.

Rachel followed him outside and opened the trailer door for him. Adam carefully placed the box in the trailer and looked at him. Rachel looked at her baby brother, hardly believing he was already eight years old. She ruffled up his curly, black hair and smiled.

“You’re growing up so fast, kiddo,” Rachel said as she pulled him into a hug.

“I’m going to miss you,” he said softly.

“I’m going to miss you too,” Rachel said as she hugged him tighter. “You be good.”

“I’m always good,” he said as he looked up at her. “It’s Mom who isn’t.”

Rachel sighed and slowly nodded. “I know,” she said as she led him back to the house. “Just try and stay out of her way.”

“I’ll try,” he said as he followed her into the house.

“Go back to bed,” Rachel whispered as they entered the living room. “I’ll call you from Florida.”

“Okay,” Adam replied as he gave her one last squeeze. “I love you, Sis.”

“I love you too,” Rachel said tearfully. “I’ll see you soon.”

She stood in the dark living room and watched him go back to his room. She blinked back the tears as she heard him close the door. Her glance shifted over to her mother who was lightly snoring on the couch. Rachel sighed as she walked over to the coffee table and picked up the empty glass that sat on the edge. As usual, her mother didn’t use the coaster and she left a ring under her glass. Rachel frowned as the scent of vodka reached her nose.

“Jesus, Mother,” Rachel whispered as she went into the kitchen.

She took a moment to tidy up the counter and put away the dirty dishes before leaving. Rachel pulled out the full trash bag from the bin and tied it up. She made her way to the garage, grabbing the empty cooler with her. Her footsteps echoed as she set the trash bag by the deep freezer. As quietly as she could, she filled up the cooler with ice and drug it back into the kitchen with her. She opened the refrigerator and began adding cans of soda and the sandwiches she had prepared the night before. The cooler was almost full as she placed the last six pack of Coke inside, her fingers growing numb from the ice. Rachel shut the cooler and jumped at the sight of her mother standing close by.

“What are you doing?” she slurred.

“Packing my snacks for the trip,” Rachel said as she stood up straight. “Just go back to sleep. I’ll be out of here in a minute.”

“Yeah, running off like a rebel,” her mother spat.

“I’m going to college, Mom,” Rachel flatly replied.

“You’ll never make it out there.”

“Mother, could you for one second stop being cynical and be happy for me? Just this once?”

“You want me to be happy about my daughter running off to God knows where to do God knows what?!” she said a little louder.

“Shhh! You’re going to wake Adam,” Rachel hissed. “I’m going, Mother. Whether you like it or not, I’m going,” she continued as she grabbed the cooler. “Excuse me.”

Rachel’s mother glared at her as she slapped her across the face. “You ungrateful little bitch! Don’t I deserve any respect. I gave you everything I had and you wanna act like none of that matters.”

Rachel winced at the pain in her cheek then pushed past her mother. “I can’t do this anymore,” she said in tears. I’m leaving and never coming back.”

“Rachel Annett, you come back here! I’m not through talking to you.”

Rachel let the tears spill down her cheeks as she ran out the door with the cooler safe in her arms. She shoved the cooler into the backseat of her car and got into the driver’s seat. Rachel saw her mother at the front door, glaring at her, shouting obscenities that she couldn’t make out from behind the glass. She turned the ignition and immediately shoved her Backstreet Boys CD into the CD player. She put the car into reverse as the music to Larger Than Life filled her car. Tears still streamed down her cheeks as she backed out of the driveway and headed down the road that would change the rest of her life. She had done it…the war was over. It was a new beginning…there was nothing to stand in her way. She was on her own.

[HollyBird]

Tonight has been really amazing on this forum. <3

It's a chill, relaxed atmosphere. I think we all needed this.

God, we did..

that's why I had to start it..

I mean there is what like 10 of us on here, we're all like a family on here

[Dnicki07]

God, we did..

that's why I had to start it..

I mean there is what like 10 of us on here, we're all like a family on here

If that... lol

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Okay, no more sad crap. LMAO! Ya'll can read that on your own time. I'm gonna post a cute short story that a ton of people loved. Guaranteed to make you laugh. It was a picture challenge. You had to write a story based off what you saw in the pic. Well, I took it a step up. I wrote a story based on the last photo in the story, but added extra photos to make a very amusing story. Ready? In the words of Aaron, "LET'S GOOOOOO!" :roll:

[bunnycat1981]

you writing a story too??

LMAO!!!

Just about aye! I'm pretty sure Rachel will have my entire life story eventually LOL, it's just easier to write from experience though.

[PinkJewel]

Yes, let's go back to brownies, ice cream, and super sized McTeases please. lol

[Dnicki07]

BLAHHHHHH! <3 Just had to get that out. lol

I grew tired.
You expired.
You finished me.
Now that I'm all that you planned.
What do you think?

Done by the hands of a broken artist.
You painted black where my naked heart is.
I finally know what wrong is.
Now I finally know that you bleed for nothing.
Carved like a stone with your hands still shaking.
On display through a soul still breaking.
Aren't you proud you're the one that made me?
Hope you're proud you're the one that made me...

[HollyBird]

wow, so, so, so good...

I LOVE it...

[HollyBird]

Yes, let's go back to brownies, ice cream, and super sized McTeases please. lol

mmm I like the sound of that... :wink:

[HollyBird]

LMAO!!!

Just about aye! I'm pretty sure Rachel will have my entire life story eventually LOL, it's just easier to write from experience though.

oh, just curious that's all

[HollyBird]

BLAHHHHHH! <3 Just had to get that out. lol

aww that is so good..

[HollyBird]

If that... lol

alright about 5 of us..

[HollyBird]

okay, no more sad crap. Lmao! Ya'll can read that on your own time. I'm gonna post a cute short story that a ton of people loved. Guaranteed to make you laugh. It was a picture challenge. You had to write a story based off what you saw in the pic. Well, i took it a step up. I wrote a story based on the last photo in the story, but added extra photos to make a very amusing story. Ready? In the words of aaron, "let's goooooo!" :roll:

lettt'sss goooooo!!!

[Dnicki07]

I should have seen this coming, from thousands of miles away.
I shouldve kept my mouth shut, lied and said there was nothing to say.
Ive made this so much harder than it ever needed to be, maybe now i should set you free.
You dont deserve this pain im causing, its more than friendship ill be tossing.
Theres days when i wish i didnt know you, days when youre just too good to be true.
I know that there would be no me today, without help from you.
I feel so afraid of things yet to come, wishing that I was not here, holding this loaded gun.
I feel like ive got my finger on the trigger and with one word this relationship will cease.
I wish i could know everything will be fine, but right now its kinda do or die.
We've been through so much already and for this to be the breaking point- just seems so unfair.
I never should have fallen, I never should have let you in.
You broke into my heart, stole all my love away.
Theres nothing we can do, theres nothing we can say. This is how its meant to be.

[BSBSavedMyLife]

http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q81/passionwriter81/l_7aeecaa2fd335a8bdf0ea9abb993b9fb.jpg

So, here we are again…another album on the rise. I can’t believe we’ve been together for this long. Sometimes I feel like I’m getting too old for this, but here I am with the fellas on our 100 hour tour. We’ve got this kick ass plane with all our needs. I’m excited to experience this once again. I’m walking around the plane with my camera, taking random pictures as they come into play. Trust me, when you’re around these guys, the Kodak moments come in packs and I’m always the one to capture them. Hey, they don’t call me the big brother for nothing.

As I’m walking around the plane, I’m observing everyone doing their own thing. As usual, Brian and Nick were battling it out in a game of Mario Kart. I can’t stand the game myself. I’ve had enough of losing to Nick. It’s not the losing part that bothers me, it’s the after effect of Nick’s gloating and crowning himself “Nintendo King.” I don’t know how Brian can stand playing with him. I stopped questioning it a long time ago, I just let them be. Trying to figure those two out is like trying to solve a Rubik Cube…it’s nearly impossible and not worth the headache.

I took a moment to stand off to the side and took a picture of them wearing their best game faces. Both of them were so engrossed in their competition that they never even noticed the flash. I smiled and moved on toward the back of the plane. Howie was sitting next to his girlfriend, Leigh, discussing something about seals. As much as my curiosity was eating me inside, I bypassed the questions and drew my attention to A.J. He was sitting alone in a chair, listening to music. As usual, he had stayed up too late the night before and it was obvious that the fatigue was kicking in. I snapped a picture just as his head started to droop. He quickly looked up and took off his shades to glare at me.

“What the hell, Kev?”

I chuckled and gave him a smug grin. “Sorry, I had to do it.”

“There’s more to life than pictures,” he spat.

“You guys don’t understand the importance of memories.”

“And me sleeping is a memory?”

“Sure, it is,” I said with a grin. “Life is too boring without memories.”

“And we like it that way,” Nick piped in, not looking away from his game.

I smirked and walked over to him. I pushed the button to the camera just in time for the flash to go off in his face. It was worth the waste of a picture to watch Brian scream in victory.

“Yes! In your face, Carter,” he shouted as he danced around.

“Oh, hell no! Kevin, you ruined my winning steak!”

“It had to happen some time,” I said with a laugh.

“You guys are too wired for me,” A.J. said as he stood up. “I’m taking a nap,” he said then went into the back bedroom.

I looked back over at Nick who was still glaring at me. I couldn’t help but chuckle at his silly tantrum.

“Act your age, not your shoe size, Nicky.”

“Don’t call me that,” he said then went to an empty couch to pout.



~*~*~*~

http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q81/passionwriter81/sleeping1.jpg



I was really pissed off at Kevin for ruining my game. Him and that stupid camera! I swear, one of these days I’m gonna break it. I know it seems like I’m being childish, but you gotta understand. I’m the youngest of the group and everyone else is better than me at a lot of things. Mario Kart was the one thing I was really good at. I mean, think about it: Brian has basketball, A.J. has dancing, Howie is really smart, and Kevin…well…he’s just good at everything. Being the youngest isn't the easiest thing in the world. I may look cute and the girls may love me, but they don’t understand the stress it is being around these guys. I’m in constant competition is almost every way. So, Kevin had to go and steal my glory…that’s what pissed me off, not losing.

He continued to snicker at me while laid on the couch. I glared at him and covered myself with a blanket and tried to think up of a plan to get him back. I had actually almost fallen asleep until I felt something hit my head. It didn’t hurt, but I felt it bounce off me. I ignored it and tried to go back to sleep and I felt it two more times. I got annoyed and opened my eyes to find Howie and Brian throwing Q-Tips at me.

“Ah, stop it!“ I groaned.

Brian laughed and threw another on. “Aw, poor Nicky, he cooed.

“Remind me to kill both of you later,“ I muttered.

I looked to the right of Brian and noticed Kevin coming over to me with that stupid camera. I ignored him and shut my eyes. The next thing I know, I can see the flash go off from under my eye lids. I sat up and flipped him the bird.

“Screw you, man!” I said while barely peeking out from under the blanket.

Kevin laughed. “Smile pretty,” he said as he took another picture.

“Go to hell,” I muttered.

“Grow up, Nick.”

“You grow up, you grumpy old man.”

“Ouch, yeah that hurt,” he said in sarcasm. “Seriously, Nick, get over it. It was just a stupid game.”

“It’s not just a stupid game, but I wouldn’t expect someone with your brain cells to understand that one. Why don’t you do us all a favor and jump out of this plane?” I said under my breath.

Kevin hovered over me and stared me down. If it weren’t for the fact that I knew I would’ve gotten my ass beat, I would’ve slugged him. Kevin could beat my ass any day, and he knew it. I continued to stare back at him as he locked his jaw.

“Care to say that again?”

I jumped up and gently pushed him out the way. “Man, back off. I don’t need this. I’m going to take a nap,” I said as I went to the bedroom.

“A.J. is in there,” Kevin said.

“Like I give a crap,” I said then shut the door.

I muttered to myself as I plopped down on the bed. A.J. rolled over and looked at me. I didn’t bother saying anything to him.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked.

“Zip it, Bone. This bed is big enough for the two of us. Besides, I’m not even under the covers, so chill.”

“Whatever,” he mumbled then rolled back over.

I let out a loud sigh and shut my eyes. It occurred to me that I was actually exhausted. I crossed my arms and relaxed a little. Before I knew it, I’d fallen asleep.


~*~*~*~

http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q81/passionwriter81/00atw051.jpg

http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q81/passionwriter81/brian_howied1.jpg

After the Q-Tip incident with Nick, things got pretty quiet on the plane. Even Kevin had sat down and chilled out for a while. I was growing a little bored and restless. My wife was back home, so I had no one to really talk to. I would’ve read a book, but I wasn’t in the mood. Kevin was lounging in a chair with a blanket. It seemed like everyone was trying to take a nap but me. I noticed Kevin’s camera sitting on a table, so I picked it up. I thought I was being sneaky by trying to take a quick picture of him, but he opened his eyes and flashed me the peace sign before I could even react. I laughed and handed him his camera.

“Darn, I thought I was going to get you good,“ I said as I sat down in the chair across from him.

“I may be old, but not that old,“ he joked.

“I should've waited until you were really snoozing.“

“No, then you would’ve gotten a beating,“ he said with a grin.

I directed my attention toward Howie, who was laying down on the couch Nick had abandoned. He was already starting to snore. I laughed to myself as I watched him. We liked to call Howie a “partial narcoleptic.” He could sleep anytime, anywhere, anyplace. Hmm, that sounds like a good line to a song. I gotta write that down. Anyway, back to Howie. I was feeling a little mischievous and got Kevin’s attention by waving at him and giving him a big, goofy grin.

“What’s with you?” he asked.

“I got a funny picture idea for you.”

“What?” he said with a twinkle in his eye.

“Just wait until I give you the signal,” I said then walked over to Howie.

I very carefully sat down on his legs and gently tilted to my left, partially lying on top of him. I pointed to Kevin and he stood up to take the picture. I thought I’d gotten away with it when all of the sudden Howie sat up and knocked me flat on my butt. The fall to the floor had nearly knocked the wind out of me. Both Kevin and Howie busted up laughing. I tried to laugh, but my tail bone ached like a mother.

“Serves you right,” Howie said while laughing. “You’re lucky I’m forgiving,” he said as he stood up. “I think I’m going to join them back there. It’s obvious no one can get any sleep up here,” he said then went into the bedroom.

I looked at Kevin and shrugged. “What is with them and that bed?” I said while rubbing my backside.

“I don’t know, but it’s funny.”

“You wanna watch a movie?” I asked.

“Sure, pop one in,” he said then went back to his chair.


~*~*~*~

After two movies with Brian, I’d grown very tired. There’s nothing worse than being jet lagged while riding on a plane. I tried to keep my eyes open, but it was becoming very hard. I glanced over at Brian and he had fallen asleep on the couch. I decided that it was the perfect time to get some shut eye.

I have no idea how long I’d been asleep, but when I woke up, it was starting to grow dark outside. I sat up and looked around. The plane had grown pretty quiet. Brian was no longer on the couch, but he was nowhere to be seen. My stomach grumbled and I decided to go to the kitchen for a snack. The chef had made up some mini muffins and had them sitting on a tray. I decided to help myself to a couple of them along with a glass of milk. I sat on a stool and was enjoying my delicious pastry when one of the members of our security crew came up to me. He grinned as he took a muffin off the tray.

“What are you smiling about?” I asked.

“I just went back to the bedroom to see where everyone went. Those guys are all asleep in that bed like a bunch of rag dolls.”

I laughed and put down my milk. “So, that’s where Brian went.”

“Yup,” he said as he grabbed another muffin.

I smiled and stood up. “Excuse me,” I said as he brushed past him.

I picked up my camera and snuck back to the bedroom. I was careful to not make any noise as I opened the door. I peeked my head in and sure enough, all four guys were fast asleep, practically snoring in unison. I had to hold back my laughter. It was just a priceless sight. In my mind I was going through a Mastercard commercial as I watched them:

One full loaded camera…$150

One roll of film….$5

Being able to take a picture of four Backstreet Boys in one bed?…Priceless.

I quickly snapped the picture and left the bedroom before they could realize what happened. I couldn’t wait to put this in our memory book. Some memories were meant to be saved.

http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q81/passionwriter81/Guys-AroundtheWorldIn100Hours1.jpg

[bunnycat1981]

Ok, just gonna check it and then I'm sending it, so it's a few minutes away :)

Then I'm coming back to read all your stories cause I was avoiding those so I wouldn't get held up anymore.

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Ok, just gonna check it and then I'm sending it, so it's a few minutes away :)

Then I'm coming back to read all your stories cause I was avoiding those so I wouldn't get held up anymore.


:roll: I'm done with the stories for tonight. I'll go on all night if I don't stop.

[HollyBird]

I am in LOVE with it..

on that note, I am off to bed sweet peeps.. I keep falling asleep on the couch..

goodnight, sweet dreams ya'll..

[BSBSavedMyLife]

I am in LOVE with it..

on that note, I am off to bed sweet peeps.. I keep falling asleep on the couch..

goodnight, sweet dreams ya'll..


LOL! Nighty night, hon! :)

[bunnycat1981]

LOL

Holly, I see now why you might have thought I was writing a story just skimming through to see where the stories start and caught what I had said along the way.

No no no, something else all together.

[Dnicki07]

These lost puzzle pieces never fit,
Or paint that perfect picture.
Some how it all makes’s sense
Since you’ve been in my arms
Worlds torn into by what you,
And I have done
Are you laying here and lying there
I’m still scared of losing the life that we lost
So I could be wrong for forgiving
Or for giving up

And like a sinking feeling
Love is bleeding; leave me out on the rough.
I never lied; I never tried to hurt you
I took you for granted and lost everything I loved...

[whitdawg14]

i've been kinda quiet the past few days.....just wanted to say hello to everyone:)

[BeMiCon88]

i've been kinda quiet the past few days.....just wanted to say hello to everyone:)
hello and good morning! haha

[whitdawg14]

hola!

[BeMiCon88]

I feel like we are most active here between midnight and 2am lol.

[whitdawg14]

haha it is for sure, and im never around then.

[Dnicki07]

Gooood Morning everybody!


Just stopping in before I go out.


Be back later <3

[BeMiCon88]

I'm usually just about to go to bed when it picks up so sometimes I stay awake but i had to go to bed early last night lol.

I have to start my day now but i'll be around like always :)

[HollyBird]

good morning ya'll

[HollyBird]

off to work loves, be back tonight..

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Afternoon, all! Just stopping by as I get ready to register for class. Hopefully it works this time. :rolleyes:

[BSBSavedMyLife]

I'm annoyed that I had to change my avy. So, now it's a pic of Nick I took myself. *sigh* I liked having Aaron as my avy. :(

[BeMiCon88]

I'm reading some of the old threads on here and it's cracking me up lol.

[AaronsShorty]

hope everyone is having a better day today :)
i sure am!

great stories Rach! you are really talented!

[AaronsShorty]

I'm reading some of the old threads on here and it's cracking me up lol.

i love going back and doing that. some of the threads from 05 are hilarious!

[BSBSavedMyLife]

hope everyone is having a better day today :)
i sure am!

great stories Rach! you are really talented!



I'm having such a crappy day so far. Dammit! :( Thanks for reading my stories. It made me smile.

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Finally registered for both summer and fall classes! Anyone wanna know what I'm taking? :D

[bunnycat1981]

Finally registered for both summer and fall classes! Anyone wanna know what I'm taking? :D


Just dropping by quickly. I want to know!!!

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Just dropping by quickly. I want to know!!!

Oh my goodness, girlie! This day has been argh! LOL! I think I'm on my way to a fresh start though. I won't be getting any money from last semester, but they know of my situation and the problems I had last semester, so they're gonna work harder to help me achieve my goals. Anyway, all said and done, I'm totally motivated this time around. Here are my classes for both summer and fall:


Summer:

Tuesday & Thursday: 10:30 AM - 12:20 PM Intro to Theater (so excited)


Human Communication: An online course. So excited for this one too!



Fall:

Mon, Wed, & Fri:

Pre Algebra 12:00 PM - 12:50 PM

Computer Applications 1:00 PM - 1:50 PM

Chorus 1: 3:30 PM - 4:20PM


Tuesday & Thursday:

English Comp II: 1:00 PM - 2:15 PM

Music 140 Small Ensamble 4:15 PM - 5:20PM




Soooo excited! I still have room for one more class in the fall. Gotta look around and see what I can take. :)

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Ya'll wanna know something funny? I've been battling to maintain my status as Super Fan of Aaron for almost two months. Me and this Brazilian chick keep stealing him from each other. :roll: I refuse to give up.

[bunnycat1981]

Oh my goodness, girlie! This day has been argh! LOL! I think I'm on my way to a fresh start though. I won't be getting any money from last semester, but they know of my situation and the problems I had last semester, so they're gonna work harder to help me achieve my goals. Anyway, all said and done, I'm totally motivated this time around. Here are my classes for both summer and fall:


Summer:

Tuesday & Thursday: 10:30 AM - 12:20 PM Intro to Theater (so excited)


Human Communication: An online course. So excited for this one too!



Fall:

Mon, Wed, & Fri:

Pre Algebra 12:00 PM - 12:50 PM

Computer Applications 1:00 PM - 1:50 PM

Chorus 1: 3:30 PM - 4:20PM


Tuesday & Thursday:

English Comp II: 1:00 PM - 2:15 PM

Music 140 Small Ensamble 4:15 PM - 5:20PM




Soooo excited! I still have room for one more class in the fall. Gotta look around and see what I can take. :)

Oooh I was hoping you would post before I had to go.

That's great news! All the best :)

It's all about you Rachel!

:music:

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Oooh I was hoping you would post before I had to go.

That's great news! All the best :)

It's all about you Rachel!

:music:


Gonna be Aaron for a moment here. LET'S GOOOOOOO!!! :laugh:

[AaronsShorty]

I'm having such a crappy day so far. Dammit! :( Thanks for reading my stories. It made me smile.

awwww it'll get better soon! Smile! :)
and of course they are amazingggg! great job!

[BSBSavedMyLife]

awwww it'll get better soon! Smile! :)
and of course they are amazingggg! great job!

I love to write. It's much easier to express myself that way. :)

[HollyBird]

hey darlings..

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Heeeeeey! :D

[HollyBird]

congrats rach!!!

[BSBSavedMyLife]

congrats rach!!!

Thank ya! :D So, when was this Jesse trip again?

[BeMiCon88]

yay!! Glad things finally worked for you!

[HollyBird]

well the first show is on the 14th, what days are your classes again??

congrats again, super happy for you..

[BSBSavedMyLife]

yay!! Glad things finally worked for you!

Me too. It's not perfect yet, but that's okay. I'll get my student loans for this semester and I picked out the schedule myself. No more of this letting my father control me crap. I'm gonna the classes I want. Screw him. I'm paying for it, no him.

[BSBSavedMyLife]

well the first show is on the 14th, what days are your classes again??

congrats again, super happy for you..

I'm in school from June - July 27th. However, one of my classes is online. So, I could afford to miss two classes of my theater class and it wouldn't pull me back. I can make up an excuse to get notes and what not.

[HollyBird]

Me too. It's not perfect yet, but that's okay. I'll get my student loans for this semester and I picked out the schedule myself. No more of this letting my father control me crap. I'm gonna the classes I want. Screw him. I'm paying for it, no him.

good for you rach.. I am really proud of you..

[BeMiCon88]

Me too. It's not perfect yet, but that's okay. I'll get my student loans for this semester and I picked out the schedule myself. No more of this letting my father control me crap. I'm gonna the classes I want. Screw him. I'm paying for it, no him.

good for you!

[HollyBird]

I'm in school from June - July 27th. However, one of my classes is online. So, I could afford to miss two classes of my theater class and it wouldn't pull me back. I can make up an excuse to get notes and what not.

okay, what days are your classes??

that is great, online classes are the best, I am taking a break this summer. I need too.

[BSBSavedMyLife]

okay, what days are your classes??

that is great, online classes are the best, I am taking a break this summer. I need too.

Tuesday and Thursdays are when I have class on campus. Just the one class. The other is online.

[HollyBird]

oh goodie, okay..

cool, we can plan now..

yayyyy!!!

[BSBSavedMyLife]

oh goodie, okay..

cool, we can plan now..

yayyyy!!!


Woot! :D

[HollyBird]

so excited now..

[BSBSavedMyLife]

so excited now..

Me too! Woo hoo for summer adventures! :D

[HollyBird]

So did you want to meet us in kentucky or are we picking you up on the way to st. louis?

[AaronsShorty]

I love to write. It's much easier to express myself that way. :)

i love to write too. writing down my feelings helps me so much. i can get everything out on paper and feel alot better.

and glad to hear everything is gettting better for you :)

[BSBSavedMyLife]

So did you want to meet us in kentucky or are we picking you up on the way to st. louis?

Well, I need to know travel expenses before making that decision. Hotel, food, ect. I know I could afford two shows. I just need to know how much I'm looking at here.

[BSBSavedMyLife]

i love to write too. writing down my feelings helps me so much. i can get everything out on paper and feel alot better.

and glad to hear everything is gettting better for you :)

Yeah writing is very therapeutic. And thank you. I'm glad things are turning around for me too. :)

[AaronsShorty]

Yeah writing is very therapeutic. And thank you. I'm glad things are turning around for me too. :)

it sure is!
and your welcome. see things can't stay bad forever, they have to get good again sooner or later. glad its sooner rather then later haha

[BSBSavedMyLife]

it sure is!
and your welcome. see things can't stay bad forever, they have to get good again sooner or later. glad its sooner rather then later haha

LOL! Me too! :)

[HollyBird]

Well, I need to know travel expenses before making that decision. Hotel, food, ect. I know I could afford two shows. I just need to know how much I'm looking at here.

okay how about I pm, you about it all..

[BSBSavedMyLife]

okay how about I pm, you about it all..

Perfect! :) That way I can do some number crunching and I can give you a definite answer.

[HollyBird]

what to make for dinner??

decisions, decisions...

[BSBSavedMyLife]

what to make for dinner??

decisions, decisions...

I had pizza. :)

[BeMiCon88]

I had mcdonald's lol.

[HollyBird]

making some pasta..

[BSBSavedMyLife]

I had mcdonald's lol.

Eeeeewwww

[BSBSavedMyLife]

making some pasta..

Ooooh! What kind? :)

[HollyBird]

some noodles with Alfredo sauce

[Dnicki07]

Oh my goodness, girlie! This day has been argh! LOL! I think I'm on my way to a fresh start though. I won't be getting any money from last semester, but they know of my situation and the problems I had last semester, so they're gonna work harder to help me achieve my goals. Anyway, all said and done, I'm totally motivated this time around. Here are my classes for both summer and fall:


Summer:

Tuesday & Thursday: 10:30 AM - 12:20 PM Intro to Theater (so excited)


Human Communication: An online course. So excited for this one too!



Fall:

Mon, Wed, & Fri:

Pre Algebra 12:00 PM - 12:50 PM

Computer Applications 1:00 PM - 1:50 PM

Chorus 1: 3:30 PM - 4:20PM


Tuesday & Thursday:

English Comp II: 1:00 PM - 2:15 PM

Music 140 Small Ensamble 4:15 PM - 5:20PM




Soooo excited! I still have room for one more class in the fall. Gotta look around and see what I can take. :)


Congrats on the schedule making!! Those classes sound kind of fun actually! lol

[Dnicki07]

some noodles with Alfredo sauce

oOoOh. I had that earlier at olive garden. =]

[PinkJewel]

Found a bunch of favorite lyrics to share. :)

You came like crashing thunder
Breaking through these walls of stone
You’re so amazing
You shine like the stars
You’re so amazing
The beauty you are
You came blazing
Right into my heart
~Amazing by Janelle
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Painted on our tapestry
We see the way it has to be
Weaving thru' the laughter and the tears
But love will be the tie that binds us
To the time we leave behind us
Memories will be our souvenirs
And I know that thru' it all
The hardest part of love is letting go
But there's a greater love that holds us
~Pray For Me by Michael W. Smith
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How can we lose our way
If we just let ourselves be led
And maybe it hurts today
But tomorrow we'll come out ahead
~Watching Over You by Glenn Medeiros
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I
I’m with you
~I’m With You by Avril Lavigne
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along

So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break
~And So It Goes by Billy Joel

[AaronsShorty]

Thank God for this thread!

[BeMiCon88]

Thank God for this thread!

seriously lol... its the only safe/sane one left besides the avy one.

:sunny:

[Dnicki07]

seriously lol... its the only safe/sane one left besides the avy one.

:sunny:

Haha. I'll make some more avvy's then we can all just go chat in there if need be. =]

[HollyBird]

hey ya'll..

[BeMiCon88]

hey ya'll..

hello :)

[Dnicki07]

hey ya'll..

Hey Holly!

hello :)

Hello!! [I'm sorry I don't know your name.. =(]

[BeMiCon88]

Hey Holly!



Hello!! [I'm sorry I don't know your name.. =(]

that's because i never said it :wink: lol. you can just call me Bemi (my sn), i have a long name (7 letters) and its weird for me to see it typed lol.

[Dnicki07]

that's because i never said it :wink: lol. you can just call me Bemi (my sn), i have a long name (7 letters) and its weird for me to see it typed lol.

Lol, oookay! Heyy Bemi! =]

[BeMiCon88]

Lol, oookay! Heyy Bemi! =]
lol nothing to hide just weird haha.

[Dnicki07]

Found a bunch of favorite lyrics to share. :)

You came like crashing thunder
Breaking through these walls of stone
You’re so amazing
You shine like the stars
You’re so amazing
The beauty you are
You came blazing
Right into my heart
~Amazing by Janelle
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Painted on our tapestry
We see the way it has to be
Weaving thru' the laughter and the tears
But love will be the tie that binds us
To the time we leave behind us
Memories will be our souvenirs
And I know that thru' it all
The hardest part of love is letting go
But there's a greater love that holds us
~Pray For Me by Michael W. Smith
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How can we lose our way
If we just let ourselves be led
And maybe it hurts today
But tomorrow we'll come out ahead
~Watching Over You by Glenn Medeiros
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I
I’m with you
~I’m With You by Avril Lavigne
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along

So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break
~And So It Goes by Billy Joel


OoOoh! I like thoseee!

[HollyBird]

heyyy

[Dnicki07]

Try seeing things from another persons point of view... Get a clue people.

You don't know my name
you don't know anything about me
I try to play nice
I want to be in your game
The things that you say
You may think I never hear about them
But word travels fast
I'm telling you to your face
I'm standing here behind your back


You don't know how it feels
To be outside the crowd
You don't know what it's like
To be left out
And you don't know how it feels
To be your own best friend on the outside looking in


If you could read my mind
You might see more of me than meets the eye
And you've been all wrong
Not who you think I am
You've never given me a chance


You don't know how it feels
To be outside the crowd
You don't know what it's like
To be left out
And you don't know how it feels
To be your own best friend on the outside looking in


Well, I'm tired of staying at home
I'm bored and all alone
I'm sick of wasting all my time


You don't know how it feels
To be outside the crowd
You don't know what it's like
To be left out
And you don't know how it feels
To be your own best friend on the outside looking in...

[HollyBird]

that was beautiful dawn...

[bunnycat1981]

Where's my poppet? Still playing WOW???

LOL there's something else funny about that, oh well never mind.

I will go start on tonights PM soon anyway, but apparently I'm hungry so will go deal to that first.

I really need to get some sleep apparently too, today wasn't much better than yesterday. I can feel my positivity slipping, that's ok though, I got enough exciting things going on to pick me. Oh yeah, there's more!!!

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Where's my poppet? Still playing WOW???

LOL there's something else funny about that, oh well never mind.

I will go start on tonights PM soon anyway, but apparently I'm hungry so will go deal to that first.

I really need to get some sleep apparently too, today wasn't much better than yesterday. I can feel my positivity slipping, that's ok though, I got enough exciting things going on to pick me. Oh yeah, there's more!!!

I'm still around, just dunno if I'll come back.

[bunnycat1981]

I'm still around, just dunno if I'll come back.

Awww don't say that! Anyway, I'll be back soonish.

I think I will tell you about this idea seeing as I'm otherwise semi grumpy, so let's focus on the good stuff :)

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Awww don't say that! Anyway, I'll be back soonish.

I think I will tell you about this idea seeing as I'm otherwise semi grumpy, so let's focus on the good stuff :)


Okie dokie. :)

[PinkJewel]

OoOoh! I like thoseee!

:biggrin:

[BSBSavedMyLife]

So...the last time I checked, eighteen was the legal age to be an adult. I'm 28...so why the hell is my waking me up to tell me all the things I need to do today? Does he really think I can't handle responsibility?! He made it sound like I have to do all this crap today. :rolleyes: Just for that, I'm not doing half of it until tomorrow. Whatcha think about that one? :laugh:

[bunnycat1981]

So...the last time I checked, eighteen was the legal age to be an adult. I'm 28...so why the hell is my waking me up to tell me all the things I need to do today? Does he really think I can't handle responsibility?! He made it sound like I have to do all this crap today. :rolleyes: Just for that, I'm not doing half of it until tomorrow. Whatcha think about that one? :laugh:

LOL that's something I would do.

[BSBSavedMyLife]

LOL that's something I would do.

LMAO! Well, he pissed me off pretty damn good. All day long, he was calling me every hour, on the hour. "You get this done? And what about this?" I'm sitting there rolling my eyes like wtf am I in high school again? I wish he'd back the hell off. :noway:

[BSBSavedMyLife]

So, today was a weird day. I dunno, it was a day of struggle for me. I had to do some running around for school and part of my errand running was in my old neighborhood. The one I lived in during my days of drinking and drug abuse. It felt really strange to drive through there, seeing all the places I'd hang out and stuff. Every spot of that area had a memory in some way, shape or form. I was driving down cherry street and I saw my old drinking buddy's orange truck in the parking lot of his apartment. I slow down to to stare at it. Out of nowhere, I'm thinking about the bar I used to sing karaoke at. I started thinking about all the people I used to hang with and how I missed certain things about that place. While I'm driving closer to the location of this bar, I started thinking that I should pop in there tonight. Sing a little karaoke and see if any of my old friends still go there. I didn't start to get freaked out until I could taste to contents of Smirnoff Apple on my tongue. I had a vision of me sipping on a bottle and laughing with my friends at the table. That's when I took a detour route. I parked in the parking lot of the bookstore and just stared out the window. That was some pretty intense feelings. I dunno if I wanna know had I went through with going out tonight. After I got my money from selling last semester's books, I went to the mall and bough the book Twilight and a prepaid game card for WOW. Yeah...none of this karaoke stuff alone. I'll wait til a good friend can come with me. I don't trust myself alone in a place like that.

[HollyBird]

huggss rach..

sounds like it was an intense day.. wow. I love that drink, one of my faves.. you hang in there.. I can only imagine today wasn't easy for you.. today was a long day..

[BSBSavedMyLife]

huggss rach..

sounds like it was an intense day.. wow. I love that drink, one of my faves.. you hang in there.. I can only imagine today wasn't easy for you.. today was a long day..

To make it worse, I just got off the phone with my dad. He's getting all pissy with me because I have no money right now. Things fell through with my student loan last semester. I kept missing deadlines because I wasn't understanding how it works. I've never taken out a student loan before. I had zero clue what I was doing the whole time. All the questions I was supposed to have been asking, I didn't know to ask. He's been yelling at me nonstop about this. Guess that's what happens when you're dumb like me. :noway:

[HollyBird]

aww rach. you are not dumb.. not you're fault.. yeah my dad and I don't speak, it is really sad.. I hope things get better hun..

[BSBSavedMyLife]

aww rach. you are not dumb.. not you're fault.. yeah my dad and I don't speak, it is really sad.. I hope things get better hun..

Oh, it'll get better once he gets his damn money. That's all me and my brother are to him are cash cows. I understand me to a point cuz I owe him money from a few years ago. However, my brother gets money like crazy cuz he was an honor student and graduated top of his class. He's sucking my brother dry with the money.

[HollyBird]

wow, sounds oddly familiar to my situation with my sister..

I feel your pain, I really do hun..

hugs, hang in there..

[BSBSavedMyLife]

wow, sounds oddly familiar to my situation with my sister..

I feel your pain, I really do hun..

hugs, hang in there..


I laid on my bed to think. I wound up falling asleep waaaay before my Never Gone CD even ended. :roll:

[BSBSavedMyLife]

I hate being hearing impaired! I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! *sighs* Okay, I'm done complaining. Carry on.

[BSBSavedMyLife]

http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q81/passionwriter81/Special%20Graphics/depressed.jpg

[BSBSavedMyLife]

http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q81/passionwriter81/Special%20Graphics/Depression.gif

[bunnycat1981]

Ooh I'm glad you're still up, sorry I've been out all day and all night and only just managing to get online now.

Good news is I have heaps I want to tell you, Um, I might have already filled half of that notebook. LOL!!

[BSBSavedMyLife]

http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q81/passionwriter81/Special%20Graphics/stronger.gif

[bunnycat1981]

Did you do those pics yourself, or get them from somewhere?

Either way, why do I get the feeling yours are going to be so much cooler than mine :eek: haha na all good, that's not the point of the exercise anyway.

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Ooh I'm glad you're still up, sorry I've been out all day and all night and only just managing to get online now.

Good news is I have heaps I want to tell you, Um, I might have already filled half of that notebook. LOL!!


Heh, I could use something. I'm about to crack.

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Did you do those pics yourself, or get them from somewhere?

Either way, why do I get the feeling yours are going to be so much cooler than mine :eek: haha na all good, that's not the point of the exercise anyway.

LOL! No, these are all my original work. :)

[bunnycat1981]

Heh, I could use something. I'm about to crack.

Do you want one paragraph at a time? hehehe

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Do you want one paragraph at a time? hehehe

lol whatever tickles your pickle.

[bunnycat1981]

LOL! No, these are all my original work. :)

Wow, yours are going to be amazing then!!

I'm way too out of practice, I started thinking about it today and I'm like OMG where do I begin. So I think I'll use that in itself as my first inspiration.

Actually I was inspired a lot today, it was a good day :)

[bunnycat1981]

lol whatever tickles your pickle.

I'm not sure I'll be able to handle, if I manage to type it all I'm sure you will understand. Ironically, I got into this detail today. LOL. Isn't life funny like that?!

[BSBSavedMyLife]

I'm not sure I'll be able to handle, if I manage to type it all I'm sure you will understand. Ironically, I got into this detail today. LOL. Isn't life funny like that?!

LOL! Life is full of curveballs. :)

[bunnycat1981]

LOL! Life is full of curveballs. :)

OMG ***insert string of banned words*** apparently I had a lot of down time today: I wrote 26 pages!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not even kidding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[BSBSavedMyLife]

OMG ***insert string of banned words*** apparently I had a lot of down time today: I wrote 26 pages!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not even kidding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:roll: Daaaaayum!

[bunnycat1981]

:roll: Daaaaayum!

LOL I went out to dinner with a friend tonight and hung out afterwards, when I talk, I TALK. I had a lot to say, haven't seen her in years.

LOL I go into this too...

[BSBSavedMyLife]

LOL I went out to dinner with a friend tonight and hung out afterwards, when I talk, I TALK. I had a lot to say, haven't seen her in years.

LOL I go into this too...

LOL! I'm the same way. You have to tell me to shut up or I won't. :nc:

[bunnycat1981]

LOL! I'm the same way. You have to tell me to shut up or I won't. :nc:

LOL I tried telling myself to shut up when I had too much caffeine one time, I couldn't, everyone was laughing at me. I was annoying myself LOL

Um, so I've written like one paragraph so far, oh dear!

[BSBSavedMyLife]

LOL I tried telling myself to shut up when I had too much caffeine one time, I couldn't, everyone was laughing at me. I was annoying myself LOL

Um, so I've written like one paragraph so far, oh dear!


LOL! I annoy people when I talk. Usually I eventually get tuned out and that's what shuts me up.

[bunnycat1981]

LOL! I annoy people when I talk. Usually I eventually get tuned out and that's what shuts me up.

LOL

Wow I can't believe I wrote so much, and that's not including the other stuff. Oh and the stuff I had in my head earlier. Haven't written that down yet. OMG!!!

Ooooh I got my hair done this afternoon. None of that regrowth anymore :)

[BSBSavedMyLife]

LOL

Wow I can't believe I wrote so much, and that's not including the other stuff. Oh and the stuff I had in my head earlier. Haven't written that down yet. OMG!!!

Ooooh I got my hair done this afternoon. None of that regrowth anymore :)

LOL! I've not touched my hair since last year. Haven't really seen the point. Wouldn't make me look any better.

[bunnycat1981]

LOL! I've not touched my hair since last year. Haven't really seen the point. Wouldn't make me look any better.

Do you know what, I think you would be surprised...

Well I still haven't had a haircut in a real long time.

I've been coloring it since I was 14, been a long time since I saw my natural hair color! I have tried going back a few times, but it's really not me and I don't recognize myself. So I normally regret that within a whole 24 hours.

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Do you know what, I think you would be surprised...

Well I still haven't had a haircut in a real long time.

I've been coloring it since I was 14, been a long time since I saw my natural hair color! I have tried going back a few times, but it's really not me and I don't recognize myself. So I normally regret that within a whole 24 hours.

I stopped trying to improve my looks a year ago. My last makeover was forced upon me by my vocal coach. He thought it was a major improvement. I didn't see the point, I still looked bad. I didn't see the point in it. Sometimes a person just doesn't look good no matter what you do to them.

[bunnycat1981]

I stopped trying to improve my looks a year ago. My last makeover was forced upon me by my vocal coach. He thought it was a major improvement. I didn't see the point, I still looked bad. I didn't see the point in it. Sometimes a person just doesn't look good no matter what you do to them.

I wouldn't call it trying to "improve your looks" rather "trying to look your best"

Look at in a positive light. Remember this positivity stuff!

Although I can see the advantage, man that would be so much cheaper! As I said though, I'm not me with my natural hair color though. Whatever you are happy with though.

[BSBSavedMyLife]

I wouldn't call it trying to "improve your looks" rather "trying to look your best"

Look at in a positive light. Remember this positivity stuff!

Although I can see the advantage, man that would be so much cheaper! As I said though, I'm not me with my natural hair color though. Whatever you are happy with though.

It's really hard to stay positive when you've been told you're ugly your entire life. I'm not a stick figure woman and definitely no beauty queen. Yeah...gonna stop that before I say anything else.

[bunnycat1981]

It's really hard to stay positive when you've been told you're ugly your entire life. I'm not a stick figure woman and definitely no beauty queen. Yeah...gonna stop that before I say anything else.

Hmmm I'm writing about this at the moment, there's actually more I could say and would be appropriate right now but I think I've got enough to try write for now. It's ok though, it'll come up. My psychic abilities today, huh!

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Hmmm I'm writing about this at the moment, there's actually more I could say and would be appropriate right now but I think I've got enough to try write for now. It's ok though, it'll come up. My psychic abilities today, huh!

:roll:

[bunnycat1981]

:roll:

As I'm writing this I'm thinking how ironic it all is really, you can see things from the other side of the fence if you will, and see that it's not so different on the other side.

The grass is not greener on the other side. It's still grass. You might just need to water it :roll: ...sorry getting silly now, but you get the point.

[BSBSavedMyLife]

The grass is not greener on the other side. It's still grass. You might just need to water it :roll: ...sorry getting silly now, but you get the point.

:laugh: You have a point, but that sounded like something Nick would say.

[bunnycat1981]

:laugh: You have a point, but that sounded like something Nick would say.

LOL I can actually imagine that!

Ooh do you like how I randomly throw in references to Aaron along the way seeing as this is what we are supposed to be here for?! Well, I got a whole heap in this from memory. See, we are all the same! :)

[BSBSavedMyLife]

LOL I can actually imagine that!

Ooh do you like how I randomly throw in references to Aaron along the way seeing as this is what we are supposed to be here for?! Well, I got a whole heap in this from memory. See, we are all the same! :)

Yes, we're all here for Aaron's sake. :) It's a wonderful thing.

[bunnycat1981]

Yes, we're all here for Aaron's sake. :) It's a wonderful thing.

Yes it is :)

Only another 58829792021 pages to go now

:roll:

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Yes it is :)

Only another 58829792021 pages to go now

:roll:

Ha ha! Can't wait to see.

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Goody goody I get to go to my dad's later. Ugh! I wish he would just leave me alone. It's only making me hate him. Anyway, I should sleep. I've not gone that way yet. LOL! Nighty night.

[BSBSavedMyLife]

Oh, yeah, forgot this one. LOL! Night!

http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q81/passionwriter81/Special%20Graphics/background123copy.jpg

[bunnycat1981]

Ha ha! Can't wait to see.

Ok, so I start talking about songs a some point, I'll stop there and then start another one so you get it sooner.

I move through the topics randomly as I'm thinking, but there's logic in it somewhere, LOL, anyway I try to base it originally on something you have said :) There is relevance in there. I get to the point eventually LMAO!!

[bunnycat1981]

Apparently I'm going to be 16 forever, apparently I haven't changed one bit.

Apparently I'm the only one who dared to dream and not settle down and have kids.

Apparently I have lived a life worthy of a lengthy story telling night.

Apparently I take it all for granted and need to hear it every once in awhile from someone elses lips.

[HollyBird]

hey darlings..

[Dnicki07]

I've looooooved this song since the first time I heard it, and tonight, I heard it, and IMMEDIATELY thought of aaron.

Where do I go?
Every direction seems to be against the flow
And who will I be?
What does it mean to just be me?

So tired of havin' to choose
Where I'll be and what I'm gonna do

Lost in confusion
I feel like I'm losin' it all
Where do I go from here?
With all this confusion,
Now who's gonna break my fall?
There's no one left to call
Nothing is clear
Where do I go from here?

Did I let you down?
My good intentions never seem to come around
And I have to believe
That there's an answer I can see

So tired of havin' to choose
Where I'll be and what I'm gonna do

Lost in confusion
I feel like I'm losin' it all
Where do I go from here?
With all this confusion,
Now who's gonna break my fall?
There's no one left to call
Nothing is clear
Where do I go from here?

I can't tell what's up or down
My head's spinnin' all the time
Every time that I turn around,
There's another useless sign
I wanna know but I don't know
Which way I'm gonna go
Where will I go?
Which way will I go?

Lost in confusion
I feel like I'm losin' it all
Where do I go from here? (Where will I go from here?)
With all this confusion,
Now who's gonna break my fall?
There's no one left to call (There's no one left to call)

Lost in confusion
I feel like I'm losin' it all
Where do I go from here?
Nothing is clear
Where do I go from here?

Where do I go?
Tell me, where do I go?