BSBSavedMyLife
Jun 15th, 2009, 06:03 PM
I wrote this as a blog on my According to Aaron site. I'm posting it here because it has to do with the issues I've dealt with while being here. This will explain why I'm choosing to stay away and I hope that you all will understand.
Okay, well, I guess I should start by introducing myself. My name is Rachel Crawford. I'm 28 years old and a HUGE Aaron Carter fan. I first became a fan in 1998 when I saw him open for BSB. I thought he was the cutest little kid and now I've grown to respect him as a young man. Over the years, a lot of things have happened in Aaron's life that have made me feel closer to him as a fan. I feel like I understand him in a different level because we've gone through some of the same obstacles.
I never really would've thought that I would become such a strong fan. In all my years of being a music lover, there never was a thought in my mind about fighting to my dedication of another human being. Some of you know me as PopStarDancer on Live Daily. And while Live Daily doesn't have the greatest reputation for being drama free and mature, I can confidently say that I am not like those people. In fact, I spend most of my time rolling my eyes at the latter of people who post there while I struggle for something intelligent to say back to them. In any case, I often times wonder why I bother with such a disgusting place, but when I look at Aaron...I know exactly why.
What does this have to do with Aaron? Well, several reasons. For one thing, Aaron deserves supporters just like any other musician out there. Yes, he's not released anything in a long time, but I still stand behind him 100% of the way. When I first wandered into the Aaron Carter forum on Live Daily, I wasn't exactly sure what I was getting myself into. The only person I knew there was a friend of mine, who happened to know Aaron on a personal level. However, despite that detail about him, it wasn't even close to the reason why I befriended him. We met on an entirely different issue that had nothing to do with Aaron in the first place. Anyhow, the environment of the forum was dark and negative. I wasn't sure if I wanted to be a part of such a place. After a few days of reading things they had to say, I began to understand that it wasn't negativity, but frustration on Aaron's behalf. It became very apparent to me that there was a little bit of trouble in Aaron's life and that concerned me. Some of the issues, I was already aware of. Other issues were a shock and a complete eye opener. I struggled even harder to hold on to my faith in him.
As time went on, I began to realize that giving up wasn't the answer. It brought me back to my days of drinking and drug abuse. I remembered how lonely it felt to have every person in my life give up on me because they had lost faith. I decided that I couldn't do that to Aaron. Even if it meant me being the only fan he had left....I wasn't going to give up on him. That is why I created this site. I wanted to do something different. To me, Aaron is so much more than just a pretty face. He's an amazing person with incredible talents. The public is far too harsh on him sometimes. I may not always agree with what he does or the paths that he chooses, but everyone makes mistakes.
Now, I'm not going to go into petty details of what I know about Aaron's current situation. Nor will I ever bother talking about it to anyone who isn't associated with him. I have become friends with people who know him, but it's not what people think. I don't ask to know the things I know. I just simply receive when given. However, I'm having to make some serious changes in my life because of these types of "connections." People forget that I'm just an ordinary fan. I don't know Aaron and nor do I think I ever will in the future. I'm not the type to pry into people's lives, so I don't expect anything to come out of this whole situation. I'm writing this because I'm putting my foot down. I have a life outside of being an Aaron fan. I'm a full time student and I'm busting my ass to earn my degree. What I do in my free time is my business and nobody else's. I'm telling people right now that I am through with playing games. Please do not bother me with petty questions about Aaron. Don't ask me to let you in on the people I know. It's not my place to expose any of those things. Like I said...I'm just a fan.
There are a number of people who have been nasty, hurtful, and disrespectful to me because of my associations. I just have one question for those people...what gives you the right to judge me? I will never understand this type of behavior. It is because of people like you that have caused me to have to shut my life away from the world. I could almost understand it if I had any real association with Aaron, but I don't. Why the hell are you bothering me?
Some of you choose to be nasty to me because you seem to think that my friends are full of crap. That is your opinion, but you only know what you see. I run an anti-poser site and I've had my share of posers. There are many people who choose to believe that my friends are posers and I cannot blame your skepticism, but don't point fingers until you know the facts. Jumping the gun will only make you look like a fool in the end. I personally do not have any reasons to doubt them, but to each their own. They do try to be helpful when they can. They have gone out of their way to correct the things that have been misleading. However, I think a lot of people seem to forget that not everything is how it appears. In the Hollywood world, there is ALWAYS more to the story than what is told. Things are constantly changing and even their own family can get confused because of the fast paced changes that can occur. In Aaron's case, I think the best advice I can give is to step into everything very lightly. Hope for the best, but don't get too attached. Just be there for him and him only.
Finally, I just have one last thing to say. I will forever be an Aaron fan and supporter. There is practically nothing that could make me think otherwise. However, I am keeping my distance from everyone because I can't handle the stress of it anymore. If you're in my circle of friends, you'll hear from me often. If you're not, well, you'll see me around randomly on LD or here on this site. The site will be getting updated on a regular basis now that I have an outline to go by. I hope you enjoy what you see. So, on that note, please feel free to message me. I don't bite. But please remember...I'm just a fan and I refuse to go beyond that boundary. If you should cross that line with me, I will wash my hands of you without a second thought. I'm through with drama and I want no part of it. I'm here to support Aaron. Love me or hate me, but I gotta keep it real, and now I'm at peace.
Sincerely,
Rachel Crawford
Okay, well, I guess I should start by introducing myself. My name is Rachel Crawford. I'm 28 years old and a HUGE Aaron Carter fan. I first became a fan in 1998 when I saw him open for BSB. I thought he was the cutest little kid and now I've grown to respect him as a young man. Over the years, a lot of things have happened in Aaron's life that have made me feel closer to him as a fan. I feel like I understand him in a different level because we've gone through some of the same obstacles.
I never really would've thought that I would become such a strong fan. In all my years of being a music lover, there never was a thought in my mind about fighting to my dedication of another human being. Some of you know me as PopStarDancer on Live Daily. And while Live Daily doesn't have the greatest reputation for being drama free and mature, I can confidently say that I am not like those people. In fact, I spend most of my time rolling my eyes at the latter of people who post there while I struggle for something intelligent to say back to them. In any case, I often times wonder why I bother with such a disgusting place, but when I look at Aaron...I know exactly why.
What does this have to do with Aaron? Well, several reasons. For one thing, Aaron deserves supporters just like any other musician out there. Yes, he's not released anything in a long time, but I still stand behind him 100% of the way. When I first wandered into the Aaron Carter forum on Live Daily, I wasn't exactly sure what I was getting myself into. The only person I knew there was a friend of mine, who happened to know Aaron on a personal level. However, despite that detail about him, it wasn't even close to the reason why I befriended him. We met on an entirely different issue that had nothing to do with Aaron in the first place. Anyhow, the environment of the forum was dark and negative. I wasn't sure if I wanted to be a part of such a place. After a few days of reading things they had to say, I began to understand that it wasn't negativity, but frustration on Aaron's behalf. It became very apparent to me that there was a little bit of trouble in Aaron's life and that concerned me. Some of the issues, I was already aware of. Other issues were a shock and a complete eye opener. I struggled even harder to hold on to my faith in him.
As time went on, I began to realize that giving up wasn't the answer. It brought me back to my days of drinking and drug abuse. I remembered how lonely it felt to have every person in my life give up on me because they had lost faith. I decided that I couldn't do that to Aaron. Even if it meant me being the only fan he had left....I wasn't going to give up on him. That is why I created this site. I wanted to do something different. To me, Aaron is so much more than just a pretty face. He's an amazing person with incredible talents. The public is far too harsh on him sometimes. I may not always agree with what he does or the paths that he chooses, but everyone makes mistakes.
Now, I'm not going to go into petty details of what I know about Aaron's current situation. Nor will I ever bother talking about it to anyone who isn't associated with him. I have become friends with people who know him, but it's not what people think. I don't ask to know the things I know. I just simply receive when given. However, I'm having to make some serious changes in my life because of these types of "connections." People forget that I'm just an ordinary fan. I don't know Aaron and nor do I think I ever will in the future. I'm not the type to pry into people's lives, so I don't expect anything to come out of this whole situation. I'm writing this because I'm putting my foot down. I have a life outside of being an Aaron fan. I'm a full time student and I'm busting my ass to earn my degree. What I do in my free time is my business and nobody else's. I'm telling people right now that I am through with playing games. Please do not bother me with petty questions about Aaron. Don't ask me to let you in on the people I know. It's not my place to expose any of those things. Like I said...I'm just a fan.
There are a number of people who have been nasty, hurtful, and disrespectful to me because of my associations. I just have one question for those people...what gives you the right to judge me? I will never understand this type of behavior. It is because of people like you that have caused me to have to shut my life away from the world. I could almost understand it if I had any real association with Aaron, but I don't. Why the hell are you bothering me?
Some of you choose to be nasty to me because you seem to think that my friends are full of crap. That is your opinion, but you only know what you see. I run an anti-poser site and I've had my share of posers. There are many people who choose to believe that my friends are posers and I cannot blame your skepticism, but don't point fingers until you know the facts. Jumping the gun will only make you look like a fool in the end. I personally do not have any reasons to doubt them, but to each their own. They do try to be helpful when they can. They have gone out of their way to correct the things that have been misleading. However, I think a lot of people seem to forget that not everything is how it appears. In the Hollywood world, there is ALWAYS more to the story than what is told. Things are constantly changing and even their own family can get confused because of the fast paced changes that can occur. In Aaron's case, I think the best advice I can give is to step into everything very lightly. Hope for the best, but don't get too attached. Just be there for him and him only.
Finally, I just have one last thing to say. I will forever be an Aaron fan and supporter. There is practically nothing that could make me think otherwise. However, I am keeping my distance from everyone because I can't handle the stress of it anymore. If you're in my circle of friends, you'll hear from me often. If you're not, well, you'll see me around randomly on LD or here on this site. The site will be getting updated on a regular basis now that I have an outline to go by. I hope you enjoy what you see. So, on that note, please feel free to message me. I don't bite. But please remember...I'm just a fan and I refuse to go beyond that boundary. If you should cross that line with me, I will wash my hands of you without a second thought. I'm through with drama and I want no part of it. I'm here to support Aaron. Love me or hate me, but I gotta keep it real, and now I'm at peace.
Sincerely,
Rachel Crawford